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Sdfurbabies

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Posts: 14
 #1 
Tiggie boy... I miss you sooo so so much. My god I thought I was okay. It’s been a couple weeks but I am so far from okay. I’ve been trying to be strong for you but I’m still broken. I was just going through your bag of bandanas and sweaters and it brought back so many memories. I have no idea what happens after death but I really hope you’re still with me... I hope so much. Shadow is doing okay, she got very excited when I got out your sweater so I think she misses you to. Although you peed all over the house and chewed many shoes.. you were such an amazing guy.. I will never ever forget you little man... please watch over me
Sdfurbabies

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Posts: 14
 #2 
Good morning tigs.. missing you right now. I wish I had you next to me to give me kisses.. even up until your last day you gave me kisses for comfort and I need that right now... I feel guilty we brought Ozzie into the house in your final month. I know you didn’t like having another dog to be in charge of.. I really hope you forgive me but he is making shadow very happy.. shadow has a friend to play with now. You were in too much pain to play with her I am so sorry I didn’t realize sooner.. I just ask for forgiveness.. and I still hope more than anything you are with me. I hope wherever you are, you are pain free... hopefully I’ll get a dream with you soon so we can be reunited.
Napalmakita66

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Posts: 137
 #3 
I'm sure they are with us. My Akita was my little man too..all 90 lbs of him. Like you, I miss him so much. I was just crying in the shower thinking about how he would stretch his legs in front of me and lick my face while I hugged his big bear head. He was only 7 and left so suddenly. I hope you see your pupper soon..i hope we all do. Take care sdfurbabies. -Katsu's dad
Sdfurbabies

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Posts: 14
 #4 
Thank you Katsu’s dad.. I have to assume for my own sake that he is still with me and I’m sure your boy is too.. someday I hope everyone gets reunited with their pups. I’m sorry for your loss too. I miss my boys kisses too. Dogs are such amazing creatures, always taking care of their owner. For all they gave us we must stay strong for them. You too take care.
Sdfurbabies

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Posts: 14
 #5 
Dear tigs
Today was actually okay. I went to the beach with a friend and it was nice to get out. I am feeling okay today but you still have not left my mind.. I know it’s been a couple weeks now but it still feels like just yesterday I had to say bye.. I’m realizing (as I work at a vet) I really need to get a new job. It is so hard for me to deal with euthanasia’s now because I feel like im reliving that day. Anyway there has been a lot on my mind but somehow I kind of still feel you with me. Please send me a sign that this is true... I miss you so much my baby boy.. I’m just so glad you’re out of pain.
Napalmakita66

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Posts: 137
 #6 
Hi sd...I'm glad to hear you had some good days. I can't seem to put an entire one together, waves of emotions through the day. I treat to stay positive but it's tough.
Working at a vet must be challenging, I have a hard time driving past one without tears . I'll never forget the last time my boy walked in the doors of our emergency vet. I knew there was a problem but I never thought I'd be saying goodbye that night. So many memories, triggers...i know my life will never be the same .Part of me knows he left because it's time for me to start another journey and change is good. It sounds like there may be some in your future.
I cried last night as I put my head down in bed. I couldn't figure out why or where that thought came from but I later had a dream about my pupper for the first time. I guess he decided it was time for a visit. I'm sure your tigger will pop in when the energy is right.
Btw are you in San Diego? I put the the 'sd' and beach thing together...i used to live there so it popped into my head. Take care and thank you for sharing. -Katsu's dad
Sdfurbabies

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Posts: 14
 #7 
Katsu’s dad,
Yes I am in San Diego. I’ve had a couple more good days but it hit me again today. It’s crazy how up and down emotions can be. Thank you very much for reaching out to me it’s nice to not feel so alone in grief.

Dear tigger,
I went to my friends house for dinner with my family. You actually got to meet this friend a couple times so we were talking about you tonight. We talked about how although you ate MANY pairs of shoes, peed everywhere and drove us crazy you were still our little man. We looked back at those times where you should’ve gotten sick for eating foods but didn’t. You had a tummy of steel.. It was nice thinking back on all those happy memories. We also talked about your last couple days with us and how miserable it was... I was fine at the time but now that I am home, I am falling apart again. Shadows back legs are getting weaker and her breathing is more labored.. I am so so scared to have to go through this process again!!! For the meantime she is trying her best to take care of me since your gone. Plus I have to say Ozzie is getting very cuddly as well so I think he knows he should also help take care of me..anyway I hope wherever you are, you’re having a good time.. I love you so much please visit me if you can.
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #8 
Sdfurbabies...i lived in old town and Chula Vista for a while. The way your feeling sounds similar to my situation. I manage to function through most of the day but then a wave of sadness will hit me. It's good that your having a few good days and being involved with friends and family helps.
It's nice reading your letter to Tigger...i still cant put one together for my little man, it's still too raw and I just break down.
I'm sure it's difficult taking care of your other animals... I'm sure they know what your going through. It's amazing how in tune they are with certain energies.
They give so much to our lives and we give back our love and support. We teach each other and help our souls grow together. It's so hard, but I think one of our responsibilities is helping them transition from this physical world onto the next step of their journey. I believe the soul moves on and travels as pure beautiful energy until it finds its next physical form. If you look at it that way...we are actually helping the little furry loved one take the next step on its amazing adventure.. they will be eternally grateful and always remember us. You and Tigger are truly soulmates. Be well- Katsu's dad
Sdfurbabies

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #9 
Napalmakita66 thank you for being so supportive and nice. Although I’d never wish any kind of loss for anyone, it’s nice to know other people feel the same way about their pets. I love the way you think about the afterlife.. to think of it that way eases my mind a little. I’ve had some really good days but recently it’s been very very low.. every time I get low I just can’t stop but think I wish tigger was here. I have my other dogs but we had a very special connection. My new younger dog gets scared when I cry but tigger used to come to me and give me kisses.. I miss that so so much. It’s been like a couple months but I still think about you often. I haven’t come back on this site in a while because it is hard for me and I almost feel guilt for that..
Dear Tigger,
I really hope you’re doing well baby boy.. you and I always had that special connection. The one where you couldn’t leave my side.. the one where you took care of me and I took care of you.. I really need that right now tigs and I hope you send me some sort of sign to let me know you’re with me.. I’m getting tired of feeling so down. I played with shadow with your favorite ball the other day, she sadly isn’t as interested in it. I remember you and your ball... you could run after it over and over and never get tired. Up until about the last month you still were obsessed.. I have a brand new one in a case on the fireplace just for you. I didn’t want the other dogs playing with it cuz I knew it’s your favorite. (And were somewhat territorial of it). Anyway.. I just hope you’re still with me in some way.. I have a portrait tattooed on my leg so you’ll in some way always be by my side.. I love you so much tigger
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #10 
Hi SD...it's Nice hearing from you and I understand how you feel. I haven't posted here for a bit... sometimes I just feel drained and can't quite do it.. It is helpful knowing we aren't going through this alone and sharing is a great way to help ease our pain and hopefully help someone else.
Katsu, my little man, was my third Akita. The other two were absolutely amazing but he was special. He came into my life at a time when I needed him most, I think the timing of his leaving was just as important.. it's time we both transition into the next phase of this life. But our souls are forever connected, the imprint on me that he made was different..a connection that will go on forever. It sounds like your Tigger was the same...you connected on a level that will bond you eternally.
He'll show up when your energy is ready. My little man came to me last night.. the dream started as soon as I closed my eyes. I was in a fenced in field and he ran right up to me..licked my face and spun in circles. I got a leash and we ent for a hike. We walked over hills and followed trails a lot like the morning walks we took on San Diego actually. At the end he sat down and leaned against my leg...he would always do that so he could feel if I moved. Then he Layed down, I bent down next to him, put him in a little head lock and pressed my cheek on top of his head. I gave him a kiss, them it was time to go. I snapped up out of my sleep and knew he was there. It was on a Sunday night when he passed and Sunday night's are tough for me..i guess he knew I needed him. I'm sure your soul will take a trip one night and catch up with your friend. In the meantime remember they are always there. Death is not the end of life..it's just the end of birth. The life we are..the thing that really makes us who we are goes on..and our furry loved ones do too. Thank you for reaching out and the letter was perfect. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. -Katsu's dad
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #11 
Oh, and I had my boys name tattooed right next to my heart..it was my first tribute tattoo..it was the right thing to do and helps with the greiving process
Sdfurbabies

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #12 
Katsu’s dad, so good to hear from you too I am so glad you got a dream with your boy. I’m really hoping that I have one soon but maybe my mind isn’t ready yet. It was May when we put my boy down and it still hurts so bad. I think It’ll just take a while for me to be more at peace with it. I constantly wish he was here but then I think about the pain he was in towards the end.. that last week was miserable for everyone.. tigger was just yelping in pain constantly so we took him in. We got him some heavy duty pain killers and muscle relaxants but he still couldnt get comfortable. We think one of his many fatty masses grew into a nerve in his spine. The vet said he thinks he was in pain for a while but he wanted to stay with us longer so he toughed it out until he couldn’t anymore.. it’s hard to talk about but I have to say it’s relieving getting to talk to someone who totally understands. I even had to put my resignation in at work (at the vet) because it’s been so hard. Thank you for replying to all my messages you really don’t know how much it means.. If I don’t reply to a message for a while, it’s because it’s hard to come on here sometimes.. anyway thank you again for being so sweet. I hope you get to see your Katsu again soon. I’m trying to paste a pic of him but I don’t know how lol. Anyway take care Katsus dad I’ll talk to you soon <3
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #13 
It sounds like you absolutely did the right thing...I know it's hard but it sounds like prolonging the issue would have just made things worse. My pupper left this world on May 5th..outta still very raw for me too. He was only 7..he had a heart attack on the operating room table after he got bloat and his stomach twisted. I don't think one situation is any better then the other but I was looking forward to spending so many more years with my best friend.
Well, here's that point where I start crying and it gets hard to write.
Sounds like we both need a break and deserve to rest and smile a little. I can't figure out how to put up a picture either..lol. Maybe it'll be easier in the near future. Thanks again for keeping in touch..I'll send some positive vibes your way. -Katsu's dad
Sdfurbabies

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #14 
Dear tigger,
Wednesday was my birthday and it was the first one I’ve had since you’ve gone.. I had an ok day but I couldn’t help but to wish you were still with me. I’ve had a good couple of weeks but even when I’m having a good day I’ll still have moments of complete sadness remembering you. I love having your picture on my wall but at the same time I look at it and feel a wash of sadness. I did finish my job up and it should help me a little. Working at the vet made it so much harder so hopefully being done with that will bring me peace soon. I love you so so much Tiggie boy I miss your cuddles and kisses...
I remember even the last day you gave me kisses. I couldn’t believe you were trying to take care of ME in your final resting place..
anyway I hope wherever you are, you are out of pain. Even the vet thought you were in pain longer than we ever knew but you just wanted to stay around us longer.. you were literally so loyal...
Anyway I love you and please visit if you can.. or just watch over me..
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #15 
Happy birthday sd...i know it's not the same without our beloved buddies, there are better days for me but thugs just aren't the same.
Isn't it amazing how they always gave even when they were hurting? They never had a bad day or were too busy to show us love. The last time I saw my boy alive was on the operating table. He was being put under for an emergency surgery. One of the vets let me into the back to see him before they started and as I walked toward him he still gave a little tail wag. His stomach was flipped and he wss going into shock but he still gave me his best. We have so much to learn from them..they are here to teach us and help us grow.
I'm sure your Tigger is around, the signs are all around us. Your souls are connected forever. Take care -Katsu's dad
Sdfurbabies

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #16 
Dear Tigger,
Shadow is not doing well. Her collapsing trachea is progressively worsening making it hard for her to breathe. It is absolutely terrifying me because I feel like I cannot go through another loss. I’m sure you’ll be so happy to see her though.. I’m just giving her so much attention and love right now and she’s still super happy go lucky but I can tell it’s getting uncomfortable. She’s also 13 so her mobility isn’t the best either. It’s not time yet, but you will see your sister soon.,.



To Napal
Sorry for not responding before I needed a break from the site but today I just had to come back on. I feel like this site is my way of communicating with my boy so I wanted to update him on the situation. I’m honestly so heartbroken... Shadow, my labradoodle, has been my baby for 13 1/2years. I honestly am not ready to lose her.. I hope you are doing better than I am.
SD
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 137
 #17 
Hey SD
nice to hear from you and I totally understand you needing a break from the site. I need to come up for air sometimes too. I haven't been on here lately either...my personal life is a bit of a mess and I just haven't had the energy.
I'm sorry your facing another loss. Please try and remember it's our responsibility to help them transition out of this life and into the next.
They will go calmly and gently knowing that this isn't the end. Giving them the gift of moving on will add to your souls journey and help you grow. I know it's difficult but an animal having respiratory distress isn't anything to drag out.
Thank you for checking in and take care. -Katsu's dad
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