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Posts: 8
Before I tell you my long story I want to tell you how I felt today when I realized I was going to lose the love of our lives- our little buddy. I signed the contract. When we adopted him I signed the contract between the creator and I that said "Till death do us part."  The small script at the end of the contract said "Your dog has a much shorter lifespan than the average human. Knowing this, you fully accept that you will most likely lose your dog to death, and accept this." 

He was the cutest, sweetest, kindest dog you would ever meet. Also somewhat stubborn, with a good sense of humor and a deep hatred for chipmunks. 

We can't be sure how old he was. We got him 12 years ago when he had just started the treatment for heartworms and the vet put his age between 1- 4 years old.  My family asked me to see him and if I liked him, we could adopt him and pay for the rest of the treatment.

He was so sweet, gave me a kiss when I first met him. I brought him home and he hated me. He didn't like grown women I discovered. During the first year he warmed up a bit and I resigned myself to having 2 dogs who loved me and one who tolerated me, but we seemed to be in a good place and he adored my husband and teenage daughter. 

Then one day- a stroke of luck. For some reason I talked baby talk to him. "You sweet boy" I cooed. That day- he opened his heart to me and a new relationship was born. He became my best friend, my furbaby, my protector and the strongest of bonds was formed. He slept next to me, greeted me every day as if I had returned from a long trip, and made me feel like the best mom in the world. I cooked homemade dog food for him, gave him an evening walk while hubby gave him his morning walk. I loved him, I still love him. He was the biggest comfort in a world in which I kept experiencing loss. 

He had health problems but overcame every one. Prone to GI issues and pancreatitis he seemed to do well on an RX diet with a bit of homemade food. He had a heart murmur that never got worse. He had old age issues but never developed Cushing's disease. He was young until his last days.

6 weeks ago he developed pancreatitis.  The usual treatment was started and he did well. We did an abdominal X-ray and there were no masses or tumors. Yay!  Thrilled with this since our last dog died of Hemangiosarcoma.  

Then a couple of days ago he had the same symptoms of pancreatitis. His normal vet was out of town so he saw the vet that we do not much care for, but she started him on the usual treatment without the usual blood work. We were concerned that his abdomen seemed a bit distended but she palpated and listened to his abdomen with her stethoscope yesterday and said "looks good."  My brain was reassured by the previous X-rays.

He didn't eat or drink this morning so the vet agreed for us to bring him in again for intradermal fluids today. But something didn't sit right with us. The abdominal distention. We saw this before with our other dog who had Hemangiosarcoma. It couldn't be could it?

So we took him to the emergency vet who could do an ultrasound this morning. She did and drew fluids from his abdomen and brought a bloody test tube to show me. He was bleeding into his abdomen. She believed it was Hemangiosarcoma. There was nothing left to do she said. He was already anemic, he was suffering.......

I knew she was right. She gave him a sedative, then the euthanasia drugs while he laid in my arms. Hubby stroking his ears, trying to keep strong. My tough guy husband has been wracked with sobs all day.

Another contract was signed after the first. "You will take care of my brother." My buddy had a deep love for our latest dog who is now our only dog. We brought him in as a puppy and buddy loved him and put up with all his puppy teeth and attitude from day one. Their bond was strong. I realized how strong when one day I took my buddy on a leash and left his brother behind. Buddy refused to move. He looked back "where's my brother?" and refused to go any further until I retrieved him. So I did. And now.........we need to get it together for little brother. 

Did you know a dog can catch a low flying bird in it's jaws? Who knew? But buddy did just that one time. So shocked that he caught it or maybe it just didn't taste good he spit it out and let it fly away. Did you know a dachshund mix dog could 1st place in a dachshund contest and get his own photo-shoot and magazine article written about him? Personality and charm can get you places. Buddy worked the crowd and the judges and twisted them around his little paw. 

We are all alike here. Shocked that the contract we signed has come to it's end. The contract that omitted "Your heart will be broken."  

And our hearts are broken. But if anyone was worthy enough to break my heart it was my little buddy. He made me a better person by knowing and loving him, and now I am a mess now that he is gone.


Posts: 54

so beautiful and touching. and im so sorry you have found yourself here for the reason we all are here...navigating the shock and grief of our little loves.

Buddy is such a wonderful soul and he clearly touched your lives in a very special way. I know anything I may offer in solidarity will only pale in comparison to the loving bond that you have with Buddy.

But what I do know, is I know this pain very well and I believe that the depths of our sorrow is a testament to how deep our love is for them.

Take care of each other, be gentle on yourselves, and go at your own pace.
much lightness and love,
Mossimo's Mom 

Posts: 19
My heart goes out to you. What a wonderful dog and I’m sorry that he didn’t make it. But take comfort in knowing you did everything you could.
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