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skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #1 
I am just devastated and in so much pain and have so much guilt.  A few days ago I had my goat put to sleep.  He was so sweet and innocent and he was 16 years old, pretty old for a goat.  He got sick and by the time I got him to the vet he looked to be too far gone.  Male goats get crystals in their urine and they get clogged up.  This is what we felt was happening to him.  I gave him medicine that I had from the last time it happened and I thought it was working because the next day I saw him pee a little.  But after that he seemed to just get worse.  With goats the bladder can actually explode so I saw it was time to take him to the vet.  I was hoping they'd be able to do something for him but he was severely dehydrated.  The vet said it was a poor prognosis.  She said she could send him home with more of the same medication and add a steroid but it would take a few days if it was going to help.  She said meanwhile he will continue to pant and be in pain and it would be a slow death.  I felt she was steering me towards euthanasia but she wouldn't actually come out and say that.  She wanted it to be my decision.  My husband was with me and he just kept shaking his head.  He said he would not have allowed me to take my goat back home because he felt he would just suffer.  So we made the decision to euthanize.  After it was done the vet came to me and said i just want to tell you that you made the right choice 100%, that I would have done the same thing if it had been my goat, you put him before yourself.  Your goat is in a better place but I know it will be hard for you.  She said I couldn't tell you this before because it had to be your decision.  But I just wonder if she was telling me that just to make me feel better and not that it was the right thing to do.  Do any of you have these interactions with your vet at this painful time?
I feel she was steering me toward euthanasia and my husband certainly was and I felt I didn't have much time to totally think about it.  But I have to say I felt in my heart that my sweet goat was suffering and to me he did look too far gone and most importantly I couldn't take a chance that more medicine would be the answer and have him suffer for more days and possibly die that slow death. How is it possible to make these agonizing decisions? 
I feel traumatized by this whole event.  How do you all get through it?   Do you have any strategies that you might share?  I miss him so.  The barn is not the same.  I have another 16 year old goat who is blind and has no teeth.  I hope he will let me know when he's had enough.  Right now he's peeing and pooping, eating and drinking well and hanging around my mini horse.  I cannot shake these horrible feelings.  Please help.  By the way his name was Munchkin and I do feel he had a good life with much health right up to the end.
Thank  you for listening.
skmk


JoeR

Registered:
Posts: 67
 #2 
Thank you for your post. Your pain helps me.
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