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chloesmom

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Posts: 8
 #1 
Hi, I have lost more than one loved pet in the past and was heartbroken each time but my little 3lb angel, Chloe, was diagnosed with a brain tumor three weeks ago and this time I feel like the world has stopped. Steroids have done all they can and my poor girl can hardly walk - she got so bad so fast. I take her to the vet in 8 hours not knowing it is THE day, but prepared for it to be THE day. I have cried an ocean of tears and my heart will just never be the same. She is only 7 and I had always hoped she would live a long life and just peacefully fall asleep one day. Also, crazy as this sounds, I cannot bring myself to think about burying her. She is just so tiny and I can't put her in the ground, I just can't. I don't know how I am going to get through this day.
smarlies72

Registered:
Posts: 49
 #2 
Hi Chloe's Mum.....
Gosh, I do feel your pain - Yes, I really do think it does get harder as you get older... I'm 35 and as much as my mum says I was devastated after each of our pets passing on when I was little and whilst growing up, she's never seen me this bad with our girl Jesse. Maybe it's because we are more aware of the impermanence of life, not just for our pets, but for us all. It's a very scary, real feeling, and you certainly aren't alone.

My mum is inconsolable as she now has no faithful companion to care for - and feels like her life has no purpose now. That concerns me greatly.

My Jesse had a heart condition (only diagnosed this last Christmas) and progressively, she deteriorated to having seizures, which they 'think" was a result of a brain tumour. At nearly 13 years of age, putting her through more tests, MRI's and CT scans etc would have exposed her to more suffering and we decided she was worth more than that - so we let her go with her dignity and with peace. There's not a day goes by that we don't beat ourselves up about whether it was too soon, did we do enough etc etc. Despite all the facts and all the expert advice in the world may tell you, it's often not enough.

But we also didn't want to bury her in the ground because she didn't like being in small spaces first and foremost - she loved to be free, so we made the decision to cremate her and will one day soon scatter her beautiful spirit over the river where she loved to swim and play. As I've written in other posts here you will know what your pet would prefer - they seem to have a habit of letting us know these types of things, in their own small, but beautiful way.

I'm thinking of you during this terribly sad and difficult time and sending you lots of strength.

Jesse's Mum
;o)




AngelCareOne

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Posts: 27
 #3 
{{{{{Chloesmom}}}}} First, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your cherished fur kid Chloe. I hear a lot of different feelings going through you at this time. I don't believe it becomes any easier as a person gets older but also your circumstances with Chloe being only 7 years old probably plays a big part in the degree of devastation you're feeling. Still, no matter how young or old your fur kid is, it is gosh awful.
 
Some or many people don't understand that these fur Angels are just like family members to us. That makes it so much harder for you. I'm so sorry little Chloe has a brain tumor and you're a Wonderful Mom!
 
There are other options besides putting your tiny baby in the ground even though that's where most of us do go when we pass on. Have you considered other options like cremation? Also, I remember when my cherished Cocoa was dying many years ago and my late husband made him a beautiful coffin. Kenny was a master carpenter. We had a very lovely little funeral for Cocoa. It helped so much to get closure.
 
Oh gosh. I just want to hold you and cry together. I'm so sorry, Dear. I wish I could do and say more to help.
Please know that you and Chloe are in my thoughts and prayers. It also may be comforting to know that dogs and cats do not fear dying. We sure do fear losing them and missing them but they have no natural fear of death itself. So we grief and we cry and grieve and cry some more. There's no time limit on how long you need to grieve. And we are here for you, Dear.
 
If I were talking about myself, I'd say, "When I die, do with my body what's easiest for everyone around. I won't be here anyway. That body is just the shell that housed who I was. As for me, I'll be in a far better place so do what you want with my body and make it easiest on everyone involved. If my body can serve to nourish the earth and make things grow, then I will live on in some way through the grass, trees and flowers that surround my body. I just don't want anyone to be sad because I'll be having a great time where the real me has gone." That's sort of close to what I'd say about what to do with my body.
 
Dearest Chloesmom, I'm here if you want to talk. I send you Many Angels to Soothe, Comfort, Protect, Guide and Guard you and your precious Chloe. I also send my Love and many Hugs!
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox  
 
Bunnylover

Registered:
Posts: 227
 #4 

I can vouch that it does not get any easier as you get older .I lost my beloved Choc 10 months ago and still grieve every day and I am certainly a long way past my childhood. My thoughts are with you as you face this awful time of decision. Rest assured that your litle one will rest in peace knowing you loved her so very much

basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #5 

I dont know if it gets harder, but is certainly does not get any easier.  I have lost many babies over the years, and so you kind of know what to expect, but when my Basil was pts, I was inconsolable.  He lived to be 19 or 20, had a chronic heart condition, was deaf, had cataracts and hardly any teeth.  I had planned how it would be, with the vet coming to the house, but it hit me so hard.  My heart is with you in your pain.  So sorry, love Di xxx

chloesmom

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #6 
Thank you all for your very kind words.  I found this sight in the middle of the night when I could not sleep and found comfort.  My little girl is gone now and I can hardly breathe.  I will miss and love her every day for the rest of my life.
JennyH

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #7 
I'm in my early 50's.  In the course of our 33 year marriage, we've lost many pets.  All the loses saddened me terribly, but the loss of Ernie week ago Sunday has hit me even harder.  It probably is because it was unexpected and he was also the last of our pet babies that we've had for twenty something years. 

The house is silent and the tie is broken of having a along history of them, all overlapping with each other (as well as overlapping the time our son was home-he's now grown and has a family of his own).  So even if we get another, we know the history that linked them all together is broken.  That has made it even harder.

I'm so sorry about poor sweet little Chloe.  I know it's a hard thing to go through.  You're in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this. 

hugs

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #8 
Dear Chloe's Mom,

I am so very sorry you have lost your precious and beloved little one, Chloe.  I had such a heavy heart when I read she was only seven...so young. 

I wish I could say something that would take away even a little of the awful pain and sorrow you are feeling.  There is no pain quite like the pain of losing a faithful little companion who has brought you so much joy and happiness and has shown you such unconditional love.  I lost my beloved little terrier, Betsy, five months ago tomorrow, and still cry for her.  She was suffering from dementia and muscle wasting and was so frail at the end.   

This site has really helped me with my grieving.  When you feel up to it, and if it will help you, please tell us more about little Chloe.  We will be here for you.  I have lit an internet candle for her under her name at AurichWolf's "Light a Candle Here" thread on page one of this board.  Go to the thread's first page and click on the little Light a Candle icon and look for Chloe's name.  The candle will burn for 48 hours.

Hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom
Sheila

Registered:
Posts: 55
 #9 
Awwww, so so so sorry that you lost your little Chloe!  It is extremely difficult.  I'm not even sure what to say except that you love Chloe and she loves you.  Talk to her and ask her to help you get through this.  Keep coming back here for support.  It is very very very difficult.  Take it one moment at a time.  You will make it through - you will.  Chloe would not want you to be so upset.  It is very hard - but we will all make it through together.

Hugs and prayers for you and Chloe,
Sheila
chloesmom

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #10 
I can't believe that not even one whole day has passed yet. Chloe's passing yesterday was not a peaceful one (she was so tiny that finding a vein was a problem and the injection was painful for her). She struggled in my arms until the end and I am having a hard time with that. In my heart I know it was the right thing because she was so unhappy but I wish I could take it back and just hold her again. Every day with my little girl was like Christmas morning - surprises, smiles and joy, and my husband and I are beside ourselves with such immense grief.
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #11 
I know how you feel, because my little Basil didnt go peacefully either.  All of my other babies went peacefully, but Basil didnt.  The vet put, I think it is called a shunt, in his leg, she said it would be easier for him.  He screamed and struggled, and her assistant took him from me and held him until it was done.  When he passed him back, poor Bas hid his head in my arm.  Then when she put the actual in jection in, he screamed again and jumped in the air.  It was so awful, I think that is why it felt so much worse than the other times, cos then I started questioning if it was the right time, did he struggle cos he didnt want to leave.
I try to push those last moments away, cos I can still hear his scream, Im crying now, but I hope that this might help you.  I am so sorry.  Much love, Di xxx
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