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Lucia

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #1 

We lost our darling Norwich Terrier, Rebel the morning of 4/21/08 during a euthanasia procedure at 9:30 a.m. in the vet's office. It was a horrible experience.  Rock music and loud laughter of employees were heard through the door.  It took so long for me to decide that our sweet, love-filled doggie was too ill with kidney failure to go on in this world. I was in shock and incapable of picking him up and walking out.  It was a horrible experience and my husband and I are guilt ridden.  I've written a letter to Rebel apologizing for the way he left this earth.  He deserved so much more.  I've written a letter to every vet on the staff explaining the extra pain inflicted on us by their callous behavior.  My relatives and friends described a peaceful experience as they said goodbye to their beloved pets.  We had no such experience and my husband and I don't know if we'll ever forgive ourselves for not taking him out of there.  Our hearts are so heavy and we cry so much.  Oh how we miss him. 

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #2 
Dear Lucia,

I am so very sorry you have lost your beloved little Norwich terrier boy, Rebel.  It is unspeakably difficult to lose a precious and faithful companion with whom you have shared your life.  I wish I could say or do something that would lessen your pain, but I can only offer you my support.  I know your pain well.  I lost my beloved little 16 year old terrier, Betsy, to dementia and muscle wasting just over three months ago.

I am so sorry you and your husband were victimized by this vet.  The treatment you received at his (or her) office was egregiously callous and insensitive and probably should be reported to your state veterinary board.   Was this your regular vet?   A caring vet would never allow this to happen when he or she is in process of euthanizing a beloved pet.   Please do not--for one minute--feel guilty because you did NOTHING wrong.  You were faced with the most difficult decision of your lives and you were only thinking of your beloved Rebel.  And, please know that Rebel knows your heart and could feel your love for him in his last minutes.  And, that was really all that mattered to him. 

I have just lit a candle for your boy under his name at AurichWolf's Light a Candle Here thread on this grief board.   It will burn for the next 48 hours in his memory.  I will be thinking of both of you and wishing you peace.

Sending hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom


mollyboltsmom

Registered:
Posts: 991
 #3 
Lucia,
I am sorry to hear that you lost your precious Rebel. I can tell that you and your husband love him dearly.
I am also sorry that you were met with insensitivity at your vet's office. Good for you for letting them know how their behavior affected you in your final moments with Rebel!
You have come to a good place. Everyone here is compassionate and caring. Most of us have had to deal with a sick furbaby and most of us have had to make the decision to send them to the Bridge.
This is a place to talk and grieve and slowly move towards healing a broken heart. We are all here to help each other gain some peace.
You and your husband are in my prayers tonight.
Molly's Mom
Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #4 
Dear Lucia,

I am deeply sorry to hear of your and your husband's loss of your Beloved Rebel.  I can't imagine the pain you must have felt having to endure your dear baby boy's passing in such unpleasant surroundings.  I'm glad you have written the vets about your experience, and hope that you will also report them to your state's veterinary board - what happened to you is unethical.

Dear Friend, please do not feel guilty.  The pure love that constitutes our Beloved Ones knows only what is in our hearts.  Your love was all that your precious Rebel knew when he left this earth, and the love you share is forever.

Sending you and your husband deepest sympathy,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever 
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #5 
Dear Lucia,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Rebel.  It is so hard having to make that decision, without being faced after you have made it with such insensitivity.

I am glad that you and your husband have written to complain, it wont help you now, but, perhaps it will stop somebody else, having to cope with that sort of behaviour.

None of us can take away your pain, but we have all been there and we understand.  It really does help to write about your feelings, I have found. 

So pleased that you have written to your boy, it always helps me to do things like that.  I hope that you know that your boy is safe and well now.  He does not blame you for the time at the vets, he loves you.  He knows that it is not your fault what happened.

My heartfelt condolences to you, and your husband,  Much Love, Di xxx
lacal

Registered:
Posts: 201
 #6 
Dear Lucia:

I am so sorry for the loss of your Rebel.  Making the decision to give our pets the greatest gift of ending their suffering comes with the terrible price of guilt and doubts, but neither are warranted.

I am glad you spoke up about the inappropriate atmosphere that was current at your vet's office.  I have never experienced that, but could well imagine my reaction if I had.

As hard as that was for you I would ask that you try and remember that Rebel had a great life with you. He was loved and never knew what it was like to be cold or hungry or abused. Instead he was loved and cherished. That is more important than the experience you had to endure at the end.

lacal
katebock

Registered:
Posts: 686
 #7 
Dear Lucia

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Rebel.  I am also sorry that you had to endure such treatment at the vets.  I know this was terribly hard on you, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that your sweet Rebel only knew your love.  You were there sharing your love with him as he left this world to begin a new life free from pain and sickness.  He carried that love with him to the Rainbow Bridge.

Writing to the vet was a very good idea.  They need to know how painful this experience was for you.  Hopefully, they will reassess their procedures so no one else has to experience this type of treatment during such a painful time.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kate (Gus' mom)
barrybass

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #8 
Our hearts reach out to you in this sad moment. Your pain is felt by all of us who have lost a loved one.

Share your feelings with your vet. The behavior of the staff is unforgivable.

hugs.
HerbiesMom

Registered:
Posts: 196
 #9 
I am so sorry for your loss.  All of us here understand your grief and pain.

What happened at yoru vet's office should not have happened.  To be honest, the same thing happened nearly 10 weeks ago when I had Herbie put to sleep.  Staff were laughling and talking loudly just outside the door, and ALL of them knew what was going on.  Not only was it jarring to me, but I wanted Herbie's last moments to be calm and peaceful -- He was a feral and was afraid of other people anyway.

Vet staff are so used to the procedure that they simply don't know how to act.  Even though beforehand they acted all sympathetic, I was astonished that the vet allowed this to go on while I was experiencing one of the worst moments of my life.  and I knew that if they were allowing this to happen when I was having my baby put down, that they were insensitive to others, as well.

I am glad you are writing to your vet -- I had not thought to do that, but I may do so now.  Maybe it will prevent others from having to experience such insensitivity in their hour of pain and loss.

Herbie and Belle's Mom
BevS

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #10 
Dear Mom,

I know your grief on the loss of Rebel is terribly deep and painful. I am so sorry he's not with you and dad anymore. You gave him unconditional love and care all those years, I just know he's crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Me, Syd and the kids are feeling awful we won't be able scratch his red, scruffy neck or have a Goldfish cracker stolen from our laps anymore. We are so sad your grief is so overwhelming.

More and more I am remembering young Rebel and all the fun times we had when he was well. He had been failing for a long time, yet you both always stood by him, making his last painful years more joyful, secure and happy.

The complete lack of compassion, care and concern at your vet's office has only made your grief worse. I feel sick about the whole thing, my heart just aches for you and dad. I am proud you wrote those letters to the vet's office -- maybe it will stick in one of their brains and they will share your gut-wrenching moment with the entire staff. At the very least, you have wisely spoken. It is now in their hands and hearts to actually listen.

To the entire Petloss Family -- after reading your kind and loving remarks to my mom this morning -- I thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It really helps to hear your stories and listen to your advice and understanding of what my mom and dad are feeling after losing their beloved Rebel. He was a sweet guy, the love of their lives -- and you understand completely. My prayers and good thoughts are with all of you, too. With all sincerity, you are inspirational. I will visit back and return the same kindness to others who are newly grieving the loss of their pet. The words you shared through cyberspace have truly comforted my mom (and myself).

Love,

Bev


WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #11 
Dear Bev,

You are such a blessing to your mom and dad.  I am so relieved they have you and your family to lean on during this tragic time.  

I have a fond spot in my heart for terriers as my little Betsy was a terrier mix.  That have such incredible joie de vivre.  

Again, what a blessing you are to your parents.

Hugs from Texas,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom

Betsy, be a good girl and find little
Rebel and welcome him to the Bridge. 
Love you, girl!!

Lucia

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #12 
To All the Wonderful People Who Sent Me A Message About Rebel:

Words can't convey the gratitude I feel to you for taking the time to speak with me about our darling doggie, Rebel.  He's gone one week today and tonight at 10:00 p.m. I will be lighting a candle in his memory.

I am following your suggestions and will be writing the Florida Board of Veterinary Medicine to tell them about how Rebel's passing was handled by the vet service I used.  I thank you for that suggestion.  It's a proactive plan.  I have never heard from the veterinary practice who received my letter but, frankly, I didn't expect to.

I picked up our Rebel's ashes today and that was very hard emotionally.  But I'm grateful I have them and he is going back to Michigan with us to be buried in a place he loved.

You're very kind, considerate and compassionate people.  Your communications have helped me and I've read them over and over.  I've printed them and they will stay with me.

To my daughter, I love you so much and am very grateful for all your kindness and understanding.

Lucia
BiscuitsSister

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #13 
On Monday my wheaten terrier, biscuit, passed away in a vets office overnight. she was only 7. I am so sad right now i decided to join because talking about things like this is so good for me. I need this. I miss her so much. I remember how bad her breath was and i actually miss it now, and how she would lick my knees i used to hate it but now i miss it!! She would also always eat with us at dinner. The moment we dug in we could hear her eating out of her bowl! it was so cute. I didnt see her death coming, though. she wasn't old, or sick. She just was acting funny, and the next morning she didn't wake up. I know that each day i will recover more, but i will keep her collar and other things of hers to remember her by. She knew a trick i taught her called "Soldier" and i tried to make her salute. But it never worked :) anyways, that was my favorite command for her because she already knew what i was going to say
she would just lift her paw as soon as she saw the treat in my hand. From now on, every dog i welcome into my family will know that trick :)
i miss her and i know you all miss your dogs. Hugs and sympathy.
Love, Biscuits Sister

I believe everyone's loved pet's that have passed away never truly leave us. Maybe Physically, but never mentally.
Nancee

Registered:
Posts: 1,328
 #14 
I feel so bad for you. Losing a pet and then going through this vet office experience, too. I think your pet must know how much you're suffering--he wouldn't want that. They're so in tuned to us. I hope he sends you a message soon that he's okay and that he's at peace.

Lucia

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #15 
We're not doing too well.  Rebel has been gone for three weeks and four days and sometimes the hurt is just as raw as the first day.  My husband just breaks down and sobs and it tears me up. 

I know I have to get over my guilt and regret but sometimes I just go over in my mind what happened at the vet's office and I can't stand myself because I didn't walk out with Rebel.  The thoughts come from nowhere. 

Some days are better but I know it's always there.  I've even gotten shingles which I've never had before because of this stress.  Oh if I could only relive that day!  I'd do it so differently.

I know I just have to take one day at a time and go on with my life but it's so hard.  I'm living my life but my zest for life is gone.  I pray it gets better.  I've purchased Kim Sheridan's book, " Animals and the Afterlife" and I hope it helps me.

I can't share this with friends because they wouldn't understand.  They'd probably think I'm "loony toons" so I just write here and read many of the other postings.

Thanks for listening,

Lucia
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