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sighthounds

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I lost Maggy almost 5 months ago. As a family we have begun to search for a new dog, but I'm finding it emotional, confusing and panic-filled. I miss having a dog, I'm so lonely. But I mostly just miss my Maggy. 
We met a potential new dog today, and if I agreed, we'd go ahead and adopt her. But I don't know if that's what I truly want. I don't know what's for the best. I feel so exhausted... please let me know your advice :(
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #2 
Maggy will guide you to your next heart dog. Be patient and true to your feelings. When it's meant to be it will happen. Maggy will see to it. Remember we all need the unconditional love that only a dog can give us. Please go with what your heart is telling you. Your heart knows the answer. You will always miss Maggie and getting a new dog won't mean you love her any less or that you are trying to replace her. A new dog maybe will help you heal too. A new dog will help with the loneliness too.
Keep us posted on you decisions
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
jrinphx

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Posts: 1,355
 #3 
I always had more than one dog at a time but after my dogs Kina Marie and Big Al died the remaining dog Jackie did not want another dog in the house (she was very bossy and the dog love of my life).  When she passed away it was the first time in 30 years that I did not have a dog.  I happened to be volunteering at an animal sanctuary and a dog there was not getting adopted so I decided I would foster him.  It took about 9 months before I decided to formally adopt him.  What I learned in this support group is that getting a new animal companion is not a replacement for the other animal it is in addition to the other.  Loving the new companion does not mean you don't still love the other.  Love is unlimited.


JoAnn - Jackie, Chan, Daphne, Scarlett, Noir, Stan and Thomas's mom and mom to many other Bridge babies.           
sighthounds

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Posts: 3
 #4 
Thank you for your kind words. It's comforting to know that it's okay to want another dog, while still grieving for your previous one. We won't make any snap decisions - I would like to continue meeting other dogs first. I guess you know it's the right dog if you get butterflies in your tummy, and the feeling that you just want to bring them home? My family feels far more 'ready' than I do, so I hope I'm not frustrating them too much.
jrinphx

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Posts: 1,355
 #5 
You will know when it is right for you to let another dog into your life and your heart.  When I first brought Harley home I was sure a young couple would adopt him, take him hiking and to the beach, etc.  He slowly wormed his way into my life and when I called my friend who runs the sanctuary to tell her I was ready to adopt him she laughed and said "I knew you would keep him and I took him of the adoption list the day you took him home."    I let him into my home and my life and then finally into my heart.  You will know what is right for you.
PoisonIvy

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Posts: 60
 #6 
I think it's okay to get a new pet even if not everyone in the family is totally ready, as long as at least one person is all in and ready to love the pet wholeheartedly and the others are not quite there.  But I also think that it's a good idea to wait if at least person really feels not ready for another pet. That is, there needs to be at least one 100% ready person, but if there's also a 0% ready person, the family should wait.  And if nobody feels nearly totally ready to love another pet, then wait.  It's not fair to the animal to be in a situation where everyone is "meh" or worse. 

My dog died at the end of January.  I was planning to meet another dog a few weeks later but realized that morning that I wasn't ready and so I cancelled the appointment to meet the dog.  (I was pretty sure that if I met him, I wouldn't be able to say no, but I might feel regret afterward, and I didn't want this dog to have a less than totally committed "mom.")  In early March, I did adopt another dog.  The foster mom brought the dog along to the required visit to my home, and he walked into my house as though he lived here already.  My heart melted, I adopted him, and I'm madly in love with him, even though he has a very serious health problem that wasn't diagnosed until a few days later.      
sighthounds

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Posts: 3
 #7 
Thanks PoisonIvy, that's really interesting.
Just to update everyone, we are now most likely going down a different route: adopting a stray puppy from Spain. We've never rescued from abroad before, but we are in contact with a fantastic organisation and it looks like we've found our puppy.

This suits us all far better, one of the reasons being that the puppy wouldn't be able to leave Spain for another 3 or 4 months (in order to have all his vaccinations). This gives us time to prepare physically, but also emotionally. I feel safe in the knowledge that this will be a relatively long, carefully considered process. I know that I can have more time to grieve for Maggy, before anyone else comes into the picture. It feels right.
Not to mention that our prospective pup is an absolute dream... we're smitten.
Shayliesmom

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Posts: 8
 #8 
I see you have made the decision and it seems like the way it's happening will be the best way for you to prepare.

When my Shaylie passed away in Nov of 2015, I wasn't sure I would want another dog right away. But I missed having a dog in the house. My cats were awesome, but not the same as a dog. I decided, 2 months later, to adopt another dog. What made it easier for me, and not feeling like I was replacing her, is that I adopted a dog the complete opposite of Shaylie. 

I still miss my Shaylie so much and would give anything to have her back, but I don't regret adopting Penny.

My thoughts are with you and your family. I know it's difficult, but I truly believe your heart will be opened even wider.
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