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sadies_mommy

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Posts: 21
 #1 

I'm having trouble just getting through the day. The heartache is just too great. I know it's only been 2 weeks since Sadie died, but I just hate living without her. My husband and I don't have children--Sadie was our child. We adopted her at 7 weeks old. And to lose her 9 years later just seems so unfair. I can't do this. :(

sadies_mommy

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Posts: 21
 #2 
She was my BABY. I feel so alone, and I just give up. I want to walk away from everything--everything. I can't live my life without my baby.

Feeling like no one understands.
MegansMum

Registered:
Posts: 72
 #3 
Today marks 2 weeks since Megan went to the Bridge too. I understand how you are feeling. We have no human children either, and Megan was our only furbaby. I too dont like my life without her. Everything seems meaningless, and I have less patience these days. I haven't managed to clean the house since she passed, I keep saying "tomorrow I will do that"....
I don't have any words of wisdom to offer. I am by nature an optimist and I try to tell myself things will get easier in time, we will learn to be happy again. It doesn't help that many people we encounter daily seem to think we should have "gotten over it" by now.
Maybe Megan and Sadie are playing together or lying in the shade of a tree together. Our babies wouldn't want us to be hurting. 
Sending you courage and hugs xx
CoopersMommy

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Posts: 66
 #4 
Sadie's Mommy,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Sadie. We lost our baby Cooper almost four months ago. He was only five when he passed. My husband and I also do not have children yet and our dogs are our babies. I want to tell you that it will get easier but it does take time. The first few weeks feel maddening, like you are going crazy and don't know what to do. But it slowly got easier. Around 3 months, things started to calm down for me. I'm still sad and I miss my little boy more than anything, but it has gotten easier to get through each day and enjoy life again. There are still days where I think I can't do this, but what's the other option? I just did my best to get through the really bad days, crying when I felt like it, and eventually, the days don't seem so awful. We will never stop missing them or forget them, but we will be able to enjoy life, it'll just be different.

fostersmommy

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Posts: 893
 #5 
It is so unfair.  We adopted our Foster at 16 weeks old and he was with us for 12 years.  It's never long enough.   We don't have children either and I know what you mean how she was your child.  I felt like my family was ripped apart when he left.  It gets better in time, trust me.  there were days all I wanted to do was cry, felt so depressed and sighed constantly.  At over 15 weeks I still think of him every day and cry just about every day too, but it IS better.  I don't know if i am just used to him being gone or what.  I still miss him like crazy, still look at his pictures everyday and still wish I had his furry body to cuddle up to, even though he hated to cuddle for longer then a few minutes- lol.
You can do it, you will do it and we will help you every step of the way.
lovemypup

Registered:
Posts: 607
 #6 
I know it seems impossible at the moment to live without your baby.  I too felt it was unfair that my girls were taken from me, that my girls couldn't have lived a longer and pain free life, felt guilty that I was here to still enjoy a meal, go for a walk, stroll on the beach, and they weren't.  They were my babies, my family as I don't have a husband or children - they were my world and it felt like my world was crumbling down around me when they both left, I was very depressed, but I came to realize that it is natural when your life and love has changed so much.  Natural to miss the one thing in this world that accepted you for you, allowed you to BE you, didn't judge you and could instantly put a smile on your face from the moment they greeted you at the end of a long day.  And it's natural to grieve something when you loved it more than anything else and could face life and it's challenges with the love you received each and every day. Though it is hard to believe, time is a great healer.  You have been without Sadie for a mere two weeks, still the early days in the whole grieving process.  I know it is hard wondering if you will ever come out of this deep sadness but you will, just allow yourself to move through it and talk about it, share all the great times you had with Sadie and find ways to honour her life by living yours.  You can do it, just breathe and take things one day at a time.

Wishing you much comfort,
Nicole 
LukesDad

Registered:
Posts: 564
 #7 
Sadies mommy, my heart goes out to you for your loss!  The pain and grief over the loss of someone so special to you is just an indication of how much love the two of you had for one another.  At only two weeks, you are still very much into the "raw" part of the process, and I'm afraid that you will still be on an emotional roller-coaster for awhile.

But, I think you are wrong about one thing....you can too do this!  You have reached out to the people on this forum, and that's a good positive first step in your healing process.  This group has been such a comfort to me as I've been struggling with my own grief over the loss of my two precious babies last month, within three weeks of one another.  My children are grown and live far away, so for all purposes, these pups have been my children for the last 13 and 12 years, which is how old they were at their passing.  I know too well the pain and emptiness you are feeling....add a huge chunk of guilt and depression, and you're getting to know the hole in my heart!

It may be hard for you to believe right now, but your pain will lessen with time.  It's been just over 8-weeks since my Luke passed and 5-weeks for my little Lil.....but I can tell you that the pain is no longer as raw, nor does it take up all my time as it did earlier.  I still don't go very long into the day without thinking about them, and I still have my crying times (not every day anymore...but still fairly often), but it is becoming less.  I'm also finding that I can think more in positive terms, especially with good memories of them when they were younger and healthy, and not dwell so much on their passings.

May God Bless and comfort you in your pain and grief.  Please keep coming here for support, and when you are feeling up to it, tell us more about Sadie.  You can rest assured that nothing as simple as physical passing can sever the bond of love that you have for your precious baby Sadie!  LukeAndLilsDad  (Rick)


sadies_mommy

Registered:
Posts: 21
 #8 
Thank you so much for your comforting words. It has been so very difficult. Sadie did everything with us, and it feels like our hearts have been ripped from our bodies.

I hope she is playing in a safe, happy place. I've had friends tell me that she's in a better place, but not better than when she was with us because they have never known a dog more loved than our Sadie. I worry about her miissing me because she wasn't happy being far from me.

Sadie was a very mischievous puppy, so right off the bat, I began taking her to puppy classes. She trained all the way to the Canine Good Citizen and Therapy Dog certifications. Despite her craving for chaos, she was a very smart, obedient girl.

We lost our beautiful yellow lab Daisy in 2001, and I remember that being terribly painful also, but in a different way. Because Sadie was still fairly young, and she most likely died because the vet misdiagnosed her, it's especially difficult to overcome this terrible feeling of loss.

I hope Sadie is playing happily with all your furbabies, and they are all sharing stories of how loved they were when they were with us. I'm glad to have found people who understand my heartache.

*big hugs*
Pattie
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #9 
I felt the same way you do when my bunny first passed on. I missed him so much that I didn't think I would make it. Your home changes so much when you no longer have your special friend with you. The early days of loss are so painful. You miss your pet with every beat of your heart and are so lonely without them. I am sorry your sweet Sadie has passed on. She sounds like a beautiful girl and she was blessed with very loving fur parents.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~
LabMom

Registered:
Posts: 233
 #10 
Dear Pattie, just wanted to send you a big hug and tell you that I do understand how you're feeling. Our babies, no matter how old, just never can stay with us as long as we wish and boy do they take a piece of our heart when they go. In time you do learn to adjust but the pain really never goes away. I remember a story about a little boy who said we are all put on earth to learn how to be good, but dogs don't stay very long because they already know how to be good. It makes me smile to think about that and hope it does you, too. Wishing you peace and happy memories of Sadie. Anne
Murphy22

Registered:
Posts: 1,982
 #11 
We all understand what you are going through, it "does" rip your heart out.  I felt so empty... like the walking dead.  Only getting through each day because I had no choice but to work and do what had to be done.  Everything else was just void.  A big empty void.

After several months, it did help me to look at new family members and to finally rescue one that needed a good home.  He needed me, and I certainly needed him.  It took me a long time to bond, it all felt so wrong yet it also felt comforting, but then one day I found myself saying there's my little boy and I knew I was falling in love.  It's not the same love, and I know it never will be, but think I'm rather careful with my feelings this time. 

It's a very long process for our hearts to come to acceptance, but it does come.  We have no other choice.  I tell myself that Murphy wants me to be happy and be the mommy she remembers.   One that smiles and laughs and lives life.  She's happy and healthy and she wants the same for me.  I still cry for her and it's almost 2 years in a couple days.  I don't think that will ever change.  But that's ok.  When my heart needs to cry, I know it's just overflowing love coming out.

Share your feelings here, everyone is wonderful and we have all been right where you are now.  It's ok.  Please take care.
Sandie
Murphy's Mommy
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