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missingbobby

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Posts: 10
 #1 
I know that everthing's still so recent (Bobby, my dear dog friend, past last sunday morning - very fast,  everything happened in less than a day, so i'm pretty much in shock), but here we're all in the same shoes, so i'm sure you'll understand.

You know that your little angel past. You saw it, and in my case Bobby was cremated. Maybe some of your little friends were cremated, too.
So I have his ashes here. I'm my room, I'll decorate a little wood house (or mdf, something like that- already have it), and the ashes are kept inside this house.

But... it doesn't make any sense.

My friend = ashes...how?
I know that's just what's left of his body, and i really wish Bobby's in a better place now, I mean, he is, great dog, great friend. I'm sure he have no pain now.

And in the same time, I just don't get it. It's like Bobby is still around, or will show up in any second.

I can talk about the way he past...but when i say it, it's like, i don't know, i'm talking about somebody elses's dog, not mine. I can say 'Bobby past"...I know he did...but do I really belive that? No.

So strange, so confusing.
Do you also feel/felt like that? And for those who are better now (i'm happy for you, it's so hard): how it went away, this "temporary insanity"?
God bless you all


gracebaldwin

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Posts: 15
 #2 
I'm not better now, but getting that way slowly day by day.  But yes, it is hard to get the mind to accept that my lovely and loving cat is gone.  Won't be coming back.  Isn't just temporarily somewhere else. 

When you say that it's like your Bobby is still around, I think it's that your love and your memories of Bobby are so strong that you feel like he is still there.  And in a sense, that's true and always will be.  Bobby will always be in your heart and memory. 

DKitKit

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Posts: 41
 #3 
Same with me...I just feel like they must be in a different room right now.  Lost two at once, but I always seem to see a flicker or shadow at the door, behind the chair, under the bed, down the hall.  It is so hard...
Must keep living and breathing and going to work.  At least work distracts for the day.


aundrea22

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Posts: 3
 #4 
I totally understand what you are feeling. It has been 9 days since I lost my sweet cat and I still catch myself looking for her....listening for her. I finally was able to bring myself to empty her water dish yesterday and I vacuumed a little today. I said "goodbye" with every little bit of fur that I vacuumed up. I am still crying myself to sleep every night and wishing all day that she could come back to me.

I'm so sorry that you lost your precious Bobby. Time will heal the terrible heartache.



Moonlight

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Posts: 540
 #5 
Yes, I still have my moments when I can't believe that my pets are really gone even though it's been some time now. Especially in the beginning, I just couldn't believe that they really passed. My 17 year old cat (Hershey) passed away October 17th, 2009 and my 15 year old dog (Jasmine) passed away May 15th, 2010. This has been the hardest year for me... Losing both of my beautiful and beloved furry kids only seven months apart. Not a single day has passed that I haven't thought about them. In the beginning when it was all so fresh it still felt like I would walk in the door and see them waiting for me. Now I know (after walking in the door for the past ten months) that they aren't here waiting for me anymore and it breaks my heart. I know they won't be there ...only the emptiness they left behind will. It's been very hard. I can still picture them all over the house. I can still see my cat climbing ladders (she loved to do that) and I can still picture her laying outside soaking in the sunshine and waiting for me in the driveway. Every time I cook a burger or steak (I think how much my dog would of loved a piece). Everything reminds me of them. I spent many, many years with them...and now it's all so strange to not have them here with me. Things haven't felt normal in quite some time now. They left a huge void in my heart and in my home.

...Back to your question though, "when does it get easier"..well it's different for everyone. Like I said before, it's been ten months since my Hershey passed and three months since Jasmine passed and I am doing better then I was in the beginning, but I pretty much struggle with their passing every single day. Just last night I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking about them and looking at their photos. So it really takes time..grieving is a long and hard journey.

((HUGS))
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #6 
When you first lose your pet, your thoughts are all over the place.  I know that when I first came her, I found encouragement reading from others who survived the loss of their babies and had accepted the passing of their treasured pets.  Everyone grieves at their own timetable, but acceptance does come along.  For me, it took many months, but it does happen.  The love for my bunny will never leave.....I love him to pieces and look forward to being reunited with him someday. 

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~

lennysmom

Registered:
Posts: 308
 #7 

at almost 23 weeks since i lost my very best love Len i still catch myself thinking that he will be there when i get home . Or i "forget" for just a mili second that hes not there. All in time i suppose all of us here experience one thing or another...as far as going to crazy! Good luck to you your journey has just begun. Come to here often this Petloss family has seen me thru some very dark moments..and continue too.

Bobo

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #8 
Its been over two weeks now for my April crossing, still crying a lot. Still feel guilty for not seeing something to help her before the disease ran its corse.
Still kinda angry at those who dont understand, who see me shaken to the core. I just want the world to STOP and recognize my baby...I want her back so bad its killing me. Ok, one foot in front of the other today.

Godspeed all.
satchelandbettysmom

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #9 
I know exactly how you feel. My cat Sack died on August 17th, 2010, so it's been about 12 days. My emotions have been all over the place. Like you, sometimes I can't fathom that she is just "gone". I have to pick up her ashes this week and I'm dreading it. How is it that a creature so full of love and light and personality is just gone? Where did she go? Anyway, my heart and sympathy is with you and with everyone else here going through the same pain. Lisa
MegansMum

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Posts: 72
 #10 
Yeah, I have also genuinely been concerned at some points during the last 12 days that I was going mentally insane. Today has been a better day. We just never expected Megan to leave us so soon and so unexpectedly. We thought we would get to see her live to be an old lady. It has been such a shock, and such a huge overhaul to our lives to lose her. We miss her so much. The guilt of not keeping her safer has been awful (she was hit by a car).
I am dreading 1st September because I don't want a new month to start without her here.
weddingdance

Registered:
Posts: 54
 #11 
The day I picked up Doolan's ashes I just sat in the car and cried and screamed until I could finally drive home.  It was so small, sitting in my lap.  The weird thing though, is I hardly ever look at the pretty box surrounded by sympathy cards up on the shelf.  I managed to get a lock of his hair into a gorgeous silver locked from 4everinmyheart.com, and I have that on and hold it like a worry stone all the time.  I'm dreading Christmas without Doolan, but my therapist says to try not to set myself up for more sorrow than I already have, so that's the advice I'll give here too.  Time heals all wounds, and 12/21/12 are the two things I look forward to most now.
missingbobby

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #12 
It's strange, like a piece of you is missing.We're all still very hurt by what happened. I'm very touched by all the stories here, and i'm wishing a lot of strenght  to all. Today completed one week since Bobby passed, and it's like living that day again. Still can't belive he passed. This week i'll decorate the little house with his ashes, i hope it can help me to somehow start to belive that he is not comming back. A dog doesn't care about decoration, but well...i care for him, and if a part of him (what's left of his body at least) is inside that little mdf house (even if i don't really belive that, that's the truth), i'll do my best do make the best little mdf house "makeover". It's so sad to look at it, so white, no photo, no nothing. I won't lie, the moment when you receive the ashes, it's hard, very strange, you don't know what to think and just start to cry. But it has to be done. And i'm doing everything that 'has to be done' hopping that it will help me to finally belive that it's sad, but it's true, won't see him in this life again. I won't leave this state of shock without doing those things, i guess. God bless you all.
Bobo

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #13 

MissingBobby read your PM...Im so sorry

missingbobby

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #14 
Bob, i wrote you a PM, too! No need to be sorry, i was (still am) sick - flu!
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