Registered: 1210339155 Posts: 5
My 16 year old Siamese has been on a steady decline for several months (loss of appetite, pulling fur out, arthritis in his hind legs, etc.). I have been trying to prepare myself for the day when I would have to let him go. Two days ago he completely stopped eating. I took him to the vet yesterday, instinctively knowing that the prognosis would not be good. After blood work (which came back normal again), the vet took x-rays and found that his lungs were covered with tumors. She was very supportive, yet made it clear, that my kitty would die very soon of cancer. She explained our options (giving him some Prednisone to see if that would stimulate his appetite and holding onto him longer, or euthanizing him now, tomorrow, after the weekend, etc.). My husband and I decided that we need to put him to sleep sooner rather than later, but decided to bring him home for the night to have some time to say good-bye. While I know it is the only humane option for him, I am just having a hard time letting go. I have another cat and dog (and my husband, too!) who I know will help me get through this loss, but my old kitty has been the most comforting, snuggly, loving pet that I have ever owned. I just can't stop crying and I feel nauseous about the drive to the vet's. I just don't know how I can stop holding my baby, snuggling him, kissing his head, and feeling his soft fur... I know there are so many others who have gone through this and I just need some words of comfort and wisdom about knowing how to let him go...
Registered: 1206998272 Posts: 52
Dear KikiNomad, My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry. Having to put Boo Boo to sleep was the hardest thing I have ever done. Sometimes we have a special connection with our babies, I have that with Boo Boo. I didn't want to have to make that decision but I had to for him. It was what was best for him. I still wish so badly I didn't have to. I wish I had the words to say to help you but I really don't. This is very hard and you have to remember you are doing what is best for him. The most loving caring thing you could do for him. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Clip a piece of his fur for you to save. I didn't think to do that. Hugs, Boo Boo's Mommy
Registered: 1207026279 Posts: 699
I am so very sorry that you are in this situation with your kitty, and my heart goes out to you. It goes without saying that it is tremendously difficult to make the decision - I haven't found a word that describes exactly how hard it is to let go. The whole process was agony for me. The priority is releasing our babies from their suffering, letting them go when the quality of their lives is no longer good and it will never get better, and there are no other alternatives. The only comfort is that when you let your baby go, he will no longer be suffering. No one and nothing can take away the feelings you now and will experience. But do remember one thing, you are not alone. I hope you will come back here where so many know exactly what you are going through and will go through in the coming times. It helps to know people care and understand. For the time you have left with your sweet kitty, just love him with all your heart. I keep you and your sweet boy in my thoughts and prayers, Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever
Registered: 1208278231 Posts: 199
I am so sorry that you have to put your beautiful Siamese baby boy to sleep. It is a terrible decision that we must make but we do it for the love of our children. It is a gift of love and compassion that we give to our children when they are suffering - knowing that it will be one of the most difficult decisions we make in life.
Enjoy the time you have left with your baby before you put him to sleep and please know what he loves you just as much as you love him. God Bless - I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Piggy's Mom
Registered: 1197839779 Posts: 1,328
Sorry about your cat--I just had one of mine pass over in January (euthanized). It was very hard. I just prayed alot before, during and after. I didn't know what else to do. My husband was worse than I was so I had to try to keep it together a bit. The drive there felt like a million miles. You'll get through this. Your pet knows you love him and I think all of the love we have for our pets makes their transition easier. Take care.
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
I'm so sorry. Our pets are so dear to us and we never want to let them go, but unfortunately there comes a time when we must put our love for them above our own need to keep them with us. It's so hard, but it's the price we pay for their unconditional love, and it's the love we have for them that allows us to give them that final gift of peace. You'll never forget your baby, and he'll never forget you. He'll be with you in spirit always. Don't forget that. He'll always love you and he's yours forever. Please come back here often, as the people here are amazing and will help you through the tough road ahead. Lord knows they've been a saving grace for me. God Bless you and your kitty. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Gerlie (Gypsy & Luna's forever mom)
Registered: 1206414832 Posts: 196
I'm so sorry about what you are going through. When I knew I only had days or even hours with my Herbie before I had to let him go, I, too, just kept burying my face in his fur and trying to make sure I would remember every littel thing about him -- the feel of him, his smell -- everything. In fact, I did that all winter long after his heart went out under anesthisia early November and I knew I would likely lose him soon, even though he seemed to miraculously recover. Those last 3 1/2 months were a gift. He was happy and content and lived his normal life up until only the last few days of his life. I gave him even more attention that he wanted -- gave him bellyrubs so long that HE was the one to get up and go busy himself with something else, rather it being me who stopped. I always let him on my lap at the computer and never decided it was time for him to get down so that Mama could get her work done. I only left one night (for Christmas) and I was home all day every day.
I gave him everything and all of me. It doesn't make me miss him any less, but I will always cherish those final months and know that I did it right. So just love your baby and be there for him. And cherish every moment. Herbie's Mom
Registered: 1197081544 Posts: 686
I am so sorry that you have to make this terrible decision. I know what a tremendous heartache it is when we lose something so precious to us. Even though this is breaking your heart, you are doing it out of your love for your kitty. You love him too much to make him stay here and suffer. He knows how much you love him and he will take that love with him to the Rainbow Bridge. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kitty.
Kate (Gus' mom)
Registered: 1210339155 Posts: 5
Thank you so much for your support. We took my baby to the vet yesterday and put him to sleep. Although it wasn't enough time (there would never be!), I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to snuggle with him and love him for one more day. The last hour when we took him from the house and into the vet's was extremely painful. In hindsight I wish we could have had the vet come to the house as I think being at the vet's again was very traumatic for him. But, once I cradled him in my arms in a chair in the corner he calmed down and became very peaceful. We decided to be with him through the whole process and while it was excruciatingly painful to do, I feel it was what I had to do. He was with me through 16 years of heartache, love, happiness, pain, and joy, and it was the last gift of love I could give him. The only thing I was not prepared for was a snoring sound he made after he got the first tranquilizer. It did reaffirm that we had made the right decision though, as he snored from labored breathing due to the fluid in his lungs. After the final injection, his death was quick and painless, just like everybody said it would be. (I'm sorry for the long description. I just need to get it all out to process it.)
Now I am back home. It's been exactly 24 hours and I, my husband, my other Siamese kitty, and our dog are all grieving together. I never realized how hard the lack of his presence would be. I thought the hardest part was making the decision and taking him to the vet. I guess I will be coming back to this forum often... Thanks for "listening."
Registered: 1196441749 Posts: 567
I'm so sorry for your loss of your baby. I know it was a very difficult decision to make. I had to make the same for my Nina, its was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But I realized that I did not want her to suffer. That's the greatest gift we can give them, no more pain and suffering, even though it is hard on us. I'm sorry your other babies are feeling the loss, it's hard on them also, they don't understand. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Nina Maria's Mom
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry you had to say farewell to your precious little Siamese boy. Oh, it is so painful to have to make that decision, even when it is the most merciful and loving last act we can do for them. My heart aches for you. I know you are so comforted by the fact you were able to be there for him in his final earthly moments. He felt ALL of your love for him. We should all be so blessed when we pass. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! May the spirit of your boy come and surround you with love and peace. Hugs, Melissa Betsy's proud momma
Registered: 1175185691 Posts: 104
I am so sorry for your loss. You did the only thing you could do for him - it was an act of love and compassion. I had Fred PTS recently, he was fourteen with kidney failure - I had him from only 3-4wks old. Towards the end, he got frail and skinny, wasn't eating - not doing anything, sat looking at the wall, bones visible through his tatty fur - eventually we were trying to force food down him, wipe his face and look after him. I didn't want to let him go but looked at him and realised that he didn't deserve what I was putting him through - as well meant as it was it was very selfish also.
I took him to the vets and asked if it was time to let him go and the lady that has looked after him all his life, said it was. I still miss Fred but know he had good long life, and am glad that I was with him at the end - I wouldn't change that. Some animals are not that lucky or as loved. I was unfortunate enough to nurse someones dog who had cancer and died whilst they went on holiday - to see that animal still haunts me and I wonder how the owners who insisted, on "Gods will" for their pet. I felt obliged to attend to it, so it wasn't alone or with a stranger - but I don't speak to the people now - feeling their animal suffered unecessarily and should have been PTS. You did the right thing. Your pain will ease in time when you can remember happier times.
Registered: 1205159567 Posts: 1,015
Dear KikiNomad – I’m so very sorry to hear about the passing of your baby. Know that your baby is so grateful for all that you gave him, and when his time came, he was most especially grateful for the hardest gift of all . . . setting him free from what was his tired & worn out little body. He trusted you to take care of him as you always had and he took all the love you’ve given him over the 16 years and he has it tightly, but ever so gently safely tucked into his heart, as you’ll keep his love with you. On Feb. 16, 2008 my beloved kitty Rusty who was 21 years old left me. Oh it pained me so beyond belief to guide him to the Rainbow Bridge, but he looked to me to help him make his transition. The more I think about it, I believe that Rusty gave me the strength I needed to help him, because I know I couldn’t have done it on my own, and yet he couldn’t do it on his own either. So together, with such heartache, we made the decision. I know we all struggle with the “choice” of helping our earth angels. I’m still having a hard time accepting that I sent my baby on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love him, but because I loved him too much to force him to stay. I keep asking myself, if the love is so great, then why is the pain so bad? But people here at petloss comprehend this . . . without their compassion and understanding I don’t think I would have made it through these days. So please come back and visit soon and share your stories, your heartache & memories. All of us understand. Warm hugs, Rusty’s Mom.
Registered: 1210638952 Posts: 11
I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I had to make the decision today to put my pretty Bella (cat) to sleep as well. She had cancer and it took over her lungs. I am feeling so much of what your feeling, I'm just so sad. I hope your cat gave you the same enjoyment my cat provided for me. The pain is so great, but I hope eventually the memories and joy take over and make us see that it was better to have them in our lives than not.