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ivanf

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Posts: 6
 #1 
Hello everyone, Sunday night a tragedy happened at my house. We have two small Maltese dogs named Sparky and Toby. We normally let them outside to pee at least 3 times a day and then the bark at the door when they are finished. Everything felt normal and both dogs are 12ys old. Toby was about 6lbs and sparky is 10lbs. Sunday night my mom let them both out to pee, after about 10 mins sparky started barking. My mom walked over and let him inside and then asked where Toby was. I didn't think much of it so I started checking the rooms. A few seconds later I check to see if he may have hid somewhere in the backyard. The pool water was as calm as glass so I didn't think to check. Then my father noticed Toby. He was laying at the bottom of the pool lifeless. He jumped in and took him out and I tried to do compressions and get the water out. I blew in his mouth and held him facing down but no water would escape his extremely bloated body. I tried more but blood and foam started to come out with no response from Toby as all. And I stopped and realized he was gone. I believe that he didn't suffer because Toby had once backed into the pool during a pool party to avoid a women stepping on him and his sank straight to the bottom like a bullet we quickly retrieved him within 3 seconds from the floor of the pool. He also had bad sinus problems were he would make really loud snorting sounds. He was always full of life and was my bestfriend. I don't know how this could have happened and am beating myself up because I feel that if I would have continued compressions I could have brought him back. He was probably dead for over 5 mins. It doesn't bother me that he is gone because that is a part of life  and I had already put my older dog to rest and was with her as she passed. What really bothers me is the fact that he was probably terrified when he fell in because he was alone and it was dark out. I wish that I would have been the one to drown over Toby because that little dog didn't deserve that.  I wish I was able to help him but I was in the garage working and had no knowledge that they were let outside to pee. He also had no idea how to swim as he hated the water. Its been two days and I cannot seem to contain my self. Another thing is that I want to believe that he is in good hands and that their is either a heaven for dogs or an afterlife for him rather than death. He didn't deserve to die this way. I wish I could receive a sign from either him or god to tell me that he is okay. I feel as though my family has failed Toby. Just minutes before he died he was in the kitchen begging my mom for some of the food she was making. It doesn't feel real that he is gone and hurts to come home and not see him. He was the active dog out of the two because sparky sleeps most of the day. Sparky acts like nothing has happened and goes on his day. He seems a little more active. If anyone has a support they can send my way I would greatly appreciate it. 
GinaXOXO

Registered:
Posts: 28
 #2 
Awe, Ivan, I am so sorry about Toby.  Try to focus on the good 12 years you had with him.  I know it is hard.  He knew he was loved and that he had a great life with your family.

It really warms my heart to read what you wrote about him.  Knowing how much you, a young man, loves his pup is really wonderful.  Good on you.  That love and protectiveness will guide you through life.  When I talked to Jasmine after she passed I told her that she taught me how to love unconditionally.  She taught me how to be gentle and that punishment and an angry voice were unnecessary.  

Sparky is probably confused.  He probably is waiting for his companion to come back home, right?  

I'm sending you, and your family, lots of hugs.  I believe 100% that our pups live on and can contact us.  Try to pay attention and you might get a message from Toby that he is ok.  But, I don't want to push my beliefs on you.  When the time is right for you, you will not wonder, you will know.   I'm hoping you find peace.  


ivanf

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #3 
Thank you soo much for your response!!! Really means a lot! I will be patiently waiting for a sign. I already received what I believe is a sign. I was getting ready to take a shower in the bathroom and I smelled him and immediately was in shock. I had never smelled that distinctive smell unless I grabbed and smelled Toby or his toys. I am also very open to hear everyone's beliefs as I am a strong Catholic just not informed much about the afterlife for our pets and wish I was to bring me some closure. All I want is to know that my Toby is doing great up there bothering god for food.
Rockymom

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #4 
Ivan, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your words are heartbreaking and I really feel for you. I lost my little Maltese Rocky to drowning about a month ago and I am still mourning. My little Rocky was 15, couldn’t walk, hear or see very well and was in lots of meds. I knew I wouldn’t have him much longer but still can’t accept the way he died (I wrote my story earlier). I am told that we never really get over the trauma, but we have to learn to accept it and forgive ourselves. I can tell by your post that Toby knew he was loved, just as I know my Rocky knew it too. I hope you get a sign that he is ok. Time has been healing the raw grief for me. I’m thinking more of the happy times and that helps. It also helps to continue talking about Toby, don’t try to hide your emotions, just let it out, cry when you have to. That has helped for me.

These posts have been helpful because they show we're not alone in our suffering. Please keep reading them. I wish you peace.
ivanf

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #5 
Thank you RockyMom! I appreciate your support. Hopefully Toby and Rocky are up there running around together with God
ivanf

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Its been almost 2 days now since Toby died and it still hurts. We are making a shadow box for him with his collar, paw print in clay and pictures of him to place on the fireplace. My mom is looking for a new puppy because she doesn't have a companion anymore that is active haha. Sparky tends to sleep 23 hours of the day and Toby was mostly active. We may name the dog Tobe If its a boy or Tabatha if its a girl in memory of him. We are not trying to replace him as no other dog could replace Toby. He was the besttest boy haha
Dogmommy

Registered:
Posts: 394
 #7 
Dear Ivan,

I am so terribly, terribly sorry about the accident : ( Please accept my deepest sympathies and condolences. 
 
I am a Born Again Christian and I believe that the Bible is the Word of God. The Bible teaches that ALL animals--unlike all people--go to Heaven. That is where your beloved Toby is at this very moment. He is running and playing and leaping for joy. If you are not sure if the Bible is true or not please read this--you will not be left with any doubt that it is-- http://www.freegraceresources.org/messiahinbothtestaments-1.pdf
 
Also here is a post I wrote. It is the true story of our beloved Brutus who was seen in Heaven. It also contains some links about what the Bible teaches about animals going to Heaven and some links for comfort. If the link does not take you to my opening post just scroll up the page to the top--. GOD CARES DEEPLY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR PET - Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
 
Once again I am so terribly, terrible sorry. 
hayley95

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #8 
I am so so sorry to hear about Toby, he sounded like he lived a long and loved life and I’m sorry he had to go the way he did I can’t imagine the pain of such a freak accident.. and that’s what it was.. it wasnt your fault for working or your family’s for letting him down it was an accident, he was doing his usual routine of pee time and no matter how he ended up falling into the pool no one could have prevented that as it was a part of his routine where you would just assume they’re at their safest. I lost my baby 3 weeks ago and have suddenly become a believer in reincarnation.. even though I know it’s crazy I just use it as comfort in maybe knowing my baby is flying around as a butterfly or something right now and that’s the only comfort or sign I can give myself. I hope you can heal from this and try not to go down the “what if” path as that’s what kills us, I read online once that dogs have a pretty short term memory so I think his pain would have passed in seconds try to think of his happier times rather than that fateful night even though I know how hard it is to do that myself. I hope you heal and you get the sign you need x
ivanf

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #9 
Hi Dogmommy and Hayley95, thank you soo much for your replies. I am positive that Toby is up their in Heaven bothering God for his food. haha that's what he was known for. That little bugger would eat all the food possible. I remember the day after thanksgiving we had the left turkey in a box on the floor to be thrown away. Toby managed to chew a hole threw the bag in the middle of the night and eat as much as he could of that turkey. We found him in the morning with a bloated filled up belly flat on his back. That was a funny morning. Poor buddy ate so much he couldn't move. Dogmommy I will be looking at your post now. Thanks a million!!!!!!
Codyjordan64

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #10 
hello, i am very sorry for your loss of Toby. I just wanted you to know that i only juat joined the group, and wasnt sure if i would be able to post anything, so i decided to read he first thing i saw and yours was the first one i read. Thanks to you and your story i felt comfortable enough to make my post, so thank you for your story, and i am so sorry for your loss
ivanf

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #11 
Thank you, I feel a lot better and my family is now coming to terms with our loss of Toby. It really hurts to step outside and even look at our pool as all I can remember is Toby lifeless beside it. I think with time it will heal my wounds. Hoping for the best for Toby in heaven
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