Registered: 1495149365 Posts: 17
At the thought of her, I burst into tears. Again and again, most every day (when I allow myself), the reality of her tragic death slams into me, and I am broken all over again. It's been almost 8 months. And the pain doesn't seem to be diminishing. Death is so hard. Especially for those like me who do not believe in an afterlife. My girl is gone. That's the reality I have to live with. I'll never again see her joyful exuberance as she runs free down a trail, I'll never again hold her little body and stroke her soft fur, I'll never again feel her kisses and tail wags against my skin. Such a beautiful, pure, kind soul is gone from earth. Snuffed out. Oh the horror and tragedy of life! How do people cope with such loss? I try to reason that she was 15 and her dementia was increasing, and that it was a mercy she died when she did. She was paranoid, barking at everything; she would lose me during a hike; she had days where she wouldn't eat because she didn't feel good; many times, I would find her stuck in a corner, just staring at a wall; it would take her minutes to make simple decisions like laying down. If her life had been allowed to continue to a natural death (instead of being taken by a coyote), or if I had to make the decision to euthanize her, would that be easier than what I feel right now? I have no closure; I did not get to hold her in my arms as she took her last sweet breath of life; her last moment was not love but violence. Yet I did not have to watch her day by day, month by month, decline. What demise of hers is more painful for me? Doesn't matter. It's all pain. I loved her every day for 15 years, and now there is a gaping hole in my heart. I will never recover. Love and miss you forever, Easter, Boo Boo Pants, my baby girl, the love of my life.
Registered: 1514753321 Posts: 11
I am sorry about your baby. The pain is unbearable. My beloved dog Griffen was hit by a car and later died on Christmas Eve. I wasn't there for him. My heart is shattered and I don't know how I can recover. He was my Angel, my comfort in this life and now he is gone....
Registered: 1485695648 Posts: 311
I am really sorry for your loss.....it is so devastating and so hard.....I lost my beloved Westie dog on 1 January 2017...yesterday was the first unappy anniversary......I still cry.....I am still devastated....he was 12 and two months....he had an infection and was misdiagnosed by his vet who gave him a wrong antibiotics...he unexpectedly died in my arms.....he could have lived a few more years...his avoidable death still eats me alive.....I trusted his vet who was not professional.
I am sorry I am not much of a comfort to you, but you see that we all suffer in one way or the other...this is probably the price of love.
I understand your pain...I know how you feel....sometimes it is just good to cry....don't keep it inside...you will at least feel a little bit better....
Try to write to your baby....express your pain on paper...it might help you a little bit....
Visit this site...joi some facebook pages...post photos of your baby.....people in similar situations will offer some comfort.....we are in the same boat...we love our pets and then they leave never to be seen again.
I am sending you hugs
P.S. How did the accident happen?
Talk to other people about your baby...she now lives in the safest place on Earth....in your heart.
Diana Pido's Mama