Registered: 1565605256 Posts: 2
When I woke up in the morning Max was not inside. Max is an 11 year old Jack Russell. I did not think much of it because he often went outside. I called him in the morning and he came in but not up to me. When he walked out I could see he was under the weather. I am sorry I never checked on him. I carried on with my house chores thinking that I should go check on Max but never did.
In the evening he was in his basket but not well. He was very lethargic but wagged his tail when you spoke to him. It was late and we could not take him to the vet. Also did not realize the extent of his illness and hoped he would be better in the morning. The next morning he was worse. And we took him to the vet. The vet said immediately he had an enlarged liver and would run tests. Max spent the day and evening at vet. His condition deteriorated and the vet suggested we put him down. Which we did because we did not want him in any more pain and suffering. I feel so bad for not checking in him on the Tuesday. I don’t think I could have made him better but would have just liked to give him attention and be comfortable. I have have no idea where he was outside and feel so terrible for that. I do hope he was in his dog kennel outside. It all happened so quickly and I am so sad that he is gone.
Registered: 1564851236 Posts: 32
I’m so sorry about the loss of Max. I lost my lovely Jack Russell some years ago and have joined this forum due to loosing my bunny 4.5 weeks ago which has left with a lot of grief and guilt. The forum is a great comfort and I hope it can help you during this really difficult time. I really don’t think you should blame yourself, Max knew you were there if he needed you and maybe as he wasn’t feeling well he chose to have some time to himself. I know your grief if so raw and cruel at this time and I just want you to know that I’m sorry and just try to be kind to yourself if you can.
Registered: 1444060919 Posts: 639
Like you said, >>>>
It all happened so quickly and I am so sad that he is gone.<<<< When something like this happens, anyone is upset. When it happens quickly, you are in shock because there is no way you saw it coming. And wow, that shock is overpowering. It's like standing in line at a grocery store and you turn around and someone slams a brick into your head. It is something you never would have anticipated or even thought of happening. And so it is for you with Max's passing. Completely out of the blue. And you are supposed to now know how to act. What? Impossible! I know from experience that righ tnow this is your worst nightmare, and understandably. Trust from people who have gone this road before you, that in months ahead, your pain will begin to slowly ease. The disturbing feelings you have right now is what grief feels like. God bless you, Stephanie Grieving Mom
Registered: 1539391042 Posts: 43
Big hugs to you.
After putting my elderly dog down, I started coming to this board. What I learned from this board is that *everyone* feels guilty when their animals die--at least, everyone who is grieving enough to come to this board. It doesn't matter how they die -- fast or slow, in pain or in their sleep. Everyone feels that they should have known or should have acted differently. We feel this way because we love them tremendously and we have great responsibility for them. . . . The guilt is a terrible thing that we do to ourselves. But it is a lie. We do not control everything, we do not know everything, even when we really wish we could. Your dog was blessed to be cared for all his life, and right up to the moment of his death, and loved always. It all we can do, and all any of us could ever wish for ourselves.
Registered: 1565605256 Posts: 2
Thank you so Much for your support. Today was 1 week since Max fell ill and I am still wishing I had done things differently. Just feel I took Max so much for granted. Now I feel such a loss.