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MegansMum

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Posts: 72
 #1 
One week ago from this moment we were driving home from the vets office with Megans lifeless body. Then I felt sure that we had done the right thing by asking the vet to put her to sleep. Our princess had been hit by a car. She was only 5 years old and so healthy and full of life. An xray showed her broken back. She had no feeling in her back legs. The vet said the only other option was to take her to a large city on the mainland (we live on an island) for an operation but even doing that, there was only a very tiny chance of recovery. I chose not to do that, because of the pain and suffering in her eyes, and the awful distorted shape of her body. The accidet had happened at approx 12noon, and we had moved her too many times already, causing her more pain; we moved her from the accident to the car, and into the first vets. Then we took her home to see if she could rest with the drugs in her system, but she coudln't. She kept crying in pain and trying to move, and panting from the heat (summer here in Greece). So we called around for another vet (one with xray facility) and when moving her into the car again, she made the most awful cries of pain I have ever heard, it will haunt me forever. 1hr then to get to the 2nd vet. Where he revealed the results of the xray.
Now I wish we had taken her to the mainland and given her that slim chance that the vet spoke of. She might still be here now. I don't know if I will ever get over this guilt. She was too young to go, it wasn't her time. She was so good to us for 5 years, she was our constant, our friend and companion, and in her darkest hour, we didn't do everything in our power to save her.
I worry she is watching over us and is disappointed that we let her down. I worry God is angry with us because he gave us such a wonderful gift and we didn't take more care of her.
I worry I will feel this guilty for the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry I chose that option, I just wanted to end her pain.
I'm sorry Baby Girl xx
leonor

Registered:
Posts: 214
 #2 

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through. I also lost my baby girl, only 5 years old, to an accident. I too had to make that decision. I too know that awful sound she made in agony that will never leave my memory (I think about it often).

I felt very relieved when my baby stopped hurting. We tried everything for 5 days, and after that I felt guilty for making her suffer for 5 days instead of giving her the peace she was asking for, maybe... who knows?

Megan knew you loved her. And she loved you very much and I am positive she was grateful for being put out of her misery. She is okay, now.

Accidents are very tragic and traumatic things. The pain is immense after losing our baby and we need to cry and talk about our feelings a lot. Come here and share everything with us, don't hold back. Just don't hold on to guilt because there is no reason for that. You did what you thought it was best for your girl because you loved her and wanted her suffering to end. You made the hardest of decisions and it was out of love, the most beautiful gesture... there is nothing wrong with that and God was right there with you when you made it.

Stay in peace, take care of yourself and keep coming here.


Again, I am very sorry for your loss...

*

Leonor

IwillRememberYou

Registered:
Posts: 47
 #3 
Dear Megan's Mum,
You take good care.  I know this feeling...that you think you are going to feel this way for a long time.  I'm in the process of it myself with a recent loss...but I have seen with other losses I've experienced, it does change, take another form at some point.
I send you comfort and soothing thoughts...healing with each day...keep moving forward...she wants that.
You are a wonderful person for giving Megan a loving home.  She knew love, real love.  That is such a great gift.
gracebaldwin

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #4 
Megan, you did everything in your power to spare her from suffering.  She is not disappointed in you at all.  She is grateful that even though you suffered, she didn't have to.
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #5 
I am very sorry for the unexpected loss of your dear pet, Megan.  It is a very normal part of grieving to second guess decisions you made.  Megan was in so much pain and you did what was best for her.  She was such a sweet young pup yet and I know how heartbreaking it is that she was taken so soon.  My heart goes out to you as you cope with the loss of your sweet and loving Megan.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~

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