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sn

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I just received a phone call from my mom telling me that she is taking in our cat, Maddie, to the vet to possibly be euthanized. She has struggled with kidney failure for over a year and we knew this day was coming, but I'm not at home to be there with them and the guilt is killing me. Me and Maddie have the closest bond out of all of my family, whenever I am home she is my shadow. I'm currently writing final exams and I have less than a week left to go before I'm home, but I'm going to be too late to be there and it's breaking my heart. I feel like I have abandoned her when she needed me the most. How do I sit here and try to study when my cat is at death's door? I cannot focus and I am worried my grades will be affected. I already miss her terribly and she isn't even gone yet. 
Tinky

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Posts: 8
 #2 
Before your parents put your precious baby down, please have them read my posts regarding kidney disease in this thread.
sn

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Posts: 3
 #3 
We had her on many different kidney medications and foods since she was diagnosed (December 2016). She was a very picky eater and would eventually stop eating the kind we gave her, so we were changing foods constantly. Eventually she just stopped eating dry food completely, and was eating solely wet food until a couple days ago when she stopped eating and drinking completely. My parents ended up euthanizing her yesterday afternoon. I wish I was there to hold her in her last moments, but I was writing an exam. I feel so guilty for not being there until the very end.
Tinky

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Posts: 8
 #4 
sn, I truly am so very sorry.  It's a difficult situation because you would have had regrets either way.  I'm sure if she could speak as we do, she would have told you, "It's okay.  You've worked hard at school.  I understand that your hands are tied, and I love you nonetheless."
sn

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Posts: 3
 #5 
Thank you for this sentiment, I know in my heart that she would feel exactly as you said. I had a strange feeling in my gut that the last time I was home would be the last time I would see her, and so I had a special quiet moment laying beside her petting her and just taking in the moment. I missed her final moments but my mom was holding her the whole time so I know she passed surrounded by love, even if I was unable to be there. She has a special place in my heart and I will never forget her. 

Her vet appointment was at 4:20pm, and as I was studying at 4:45 the lights flickered in my room, and I swear I could feel her there. My parents said that she passed around that time, so I can't help but wonder if that was her saying goodbye one last time. 
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