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Posts: 6
The week has been terrible. I got a call last Sunday morning from my dog sitter that my old girl Belle was having trouble breathing and didn’t look like she was going to make it. I was 8 hours from home and got there as fast as I could. I took her to the emergency vet that night and they said they didn’t know what was causing her inability to breathe. (Looked like possible pneumonia).

They put her on oxygen and kept her at the clinic. We went to see her the next morning and she seemed slightly better. They got her to eat and drink a little on Monday and Tuesday.

On Wednesday, we had an ultrasound scheduled at another clinic to try to figure out why she was so sick. They too decided it was a bacterial or fungal infection. When they brought her out to take her back to the emergency vet, she stopped breathing but they revived her. She was transported back to the emergency vet and put in an icu oxygen box. I stayed with her for a couple of hours and then told her I’d come back to see her in the morning. On my drive back home, the vet called and said she passed away.

I can’t stop crying and feel so guilty for not keeping her at the clinic that did her ultrasound. The vet there truly seemed to care about her wellbeing. I am having so much doubt about my decision to transport her back to the emergency vet and feel so horrible that she’s gone. I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference, but I feel like I let my best friend down and I don’t know how to get past the pain.

Posts: 22
Oh dear... I truly sympathize. You reacted fast. You provided medical help. If she died despite of being cared for by veterinarians and on oxygen she must have been gravely sick. My beloved kitty died of respiratory failure too. Cancer was suspected.
You did everything you could. So sorry...

Posts: 43
I am so sorry.

If there is one thing I have learned since I put my dog down a month ago, it is that everyone feels guilty, no matter how their animals pass. This is because we really love them, and want to give them the very best, on the one hand; and because we have limited control and knowledge on the other. I spent weeks crawling through every decision I made on his medical care, even pouring over his old medical records, second guessing every decision I made for him. We cannot be perfect for them, even if we truly want to be; and we do not control everything, even if we want to. You did the very best you could for the friend you loved, which is all anyone, and especially you, can ask of yourself.

Posts: 4
lovemydogs, all I see when I read this is the story of someone who loved their dog so much and went to great lengths to save them. Emergency vet visits, ultrasounds, transport...all of these are not cheap by any stretch. And you rushed back from so far to be with her. Such devotion and love. I know it does not ease the feelings, but I agree that we all deal with so much guilt here. It seems to be pervasive no matter how our pets go, all the way from falling over and dying in an instant to having to put them down to having them be killed in an accident. It is really hard to have to let go of something you love so much. We are so responsible for them for so long it feels like we are responsible for their death too. I am thinking of you and sending good energy your way. I am also in the same early stages as you, and the grief is actually painful. You are not alone xoxo

Posts: 6
Thank you for your kindness and messages. It’s so hard not to blame myself for what happened. You’re right, I love her so much and do feel responsible. I know she’s at peace now and not hurting, but it’s still so hard without her here. I’m thankful for the 13 years we had together.
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