Registered: 1567863389 Posts: 22
I’m feeling so sad over my dog no longer being with me. He passed away on Friday. He was a beautiful, loving boy who asked for nothing in return but love. He had deteriorated so much and I know based on his condition that his passing was a blessing and he is at peace but it’s difficult to keep feelings of guilt away. I keep asking myself questions like could he have lived longer if I sought more help sooner, did I do enough to make him comfortable during his decline. I know I did a great deal for him but I know I could always have done more and this feeling makes me sad. My family doesn’t understand my feelings of guilt because they believe he had everything he needed. I wish I could feel the same way but I just don’t. Them telling me not to feel guilty doesn’t help. Maybe with time I’ll focus just on what I did and not beat myself up for what I didn’t do. Has anyone else felt this way?
Grief is so hard. :(
Registered: 1567693367 Posts: 38
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. No matter how much love we gave them and how much we did for them these awful feeling of guilt resurface. I believe your dog had the very best of care with you and it is sad that we pet owners always look for things that we may have missed or didn't do when in fact we gave them the very best love and care that we possibly could have and I believe you did. I feel the same as you - could I have done more and always feeling guilty. The grief has taken so much oxygen from me and I feel intensely sad and so alone as I live alone now that my beautiful Daisy has left this world. Even the cremation process has tortured me, when I received her ashes I had feelings of guilt because her body was no more, just a bag of ashes in a box and I thought I was horrible for allowing this to have happened.. I hope that you are being gentle with yourself & remember that you are not alone. I wish I knew what to say as the pain is awful. Are u creating a memorial? I found a dog journal with spaces for pictures but I cannot start it yet as it's too painful. I was also told this helps. Sending big hugs to you. babydaisy
Registered: 1564945101 Posts: 47
goldenmom, im so sorry for your loss and i understand all that you are going through, as it has been nearly 7 weeks since my boy, Mossimo, had to go. Everything you are going through is normal and though painful, confusing and debilitating at times, it is all very real for you in this present moment. so please try to not judge yourself too harshly. easier said than done, i know as my mind replays many moments in the quiet of the days/nights and blame, regret, remorse usually follows. your grief is a testament to the depth of your love and feeling it completely i believe honors that love. please know you are not alone and in silent solidarity i am with you during these dark days. be gentle with yourself. mossimo's mom, anastacia
Registered: 1567863389 Posts: 22
Thank you babydaisy and MossimoLove. I greatly appreciate your support. Experiencing my boy’s loss has been so incredibly painful. It helps to know I’m not alone and my feelings are normal. I lost another beloved dog four years ago and it was really hard. My golden boy was a huge comfort during that time. Now he’s gone and I feel I’ve lost my comfort, my sense of security and the unconditional love he brought. I know it will hurt less as time goes by but when you’re right in the midst of your grief it can be overwhelming. My family seems to be coping much better than me (at least on the surface). We will do a memorial but we’re not sure what we’ll do and it’s too painful yet to consider. What a blessing this message board is to be able to support one another through our grief. Hugs to you both.