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Frankk

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Posts: 2
 #1 

It doesn't seem to get any better. Belle has been getting flowers and cards and photos of her life.  I want to share a photo of her that a friend sent, I will do that soon.  Went to a horse show today and the tears started the minute  I didn't feel her in the back seat of the truck, it isn't the same without her.  My wife and I buried her in her bed with her favorite toys, what toys are left bring us to tears and pain when we see them.  Belle is on the hill overlooking our riding ring where she always sat and watched us ride.  I look there and I think I see her but it isn't and the sadness just takes over all the more. I carved a headstone with her name on it, we haven't placed it on her grave yet, the right moment hasn't come yet.  Belle has always shared our second cup of coffee with us after the barn chores are done, in the morning we are going to her and share  our second cup.  The house seems quiet, the barn seems quiet, the farm seems quiet, we miss her so.  When we arrive back to the farm from a show, Belle slowly jumps out of the truck then charges after deer that I point out to her, sometimes carrying a toy thinking they are going to play with her.  We miss her so.  Maybe  in the morning after we share our cup of coffee, our tears, heartbreak and love the time will be right to give Belle her stone.  How I miss my friend.

katebock

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Posts: 686
 #2 
Dear Frank

I am so sorry for your loss.  Belle sounds like an absolutely wonderful girl.  It also sounds like you gave her a wonderful happy life.  I know how you miss her.    Your plans for placing her stone sound so loving and peaceful.  I know she will be there in your heart.  I pray you find comfort.  I will look forward to seeing a pictures of your beautiful Belle.

Thinking of you,
Kate (Gus' mom)


WooWooWoo

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Posts: 5,100
 #3 
I can feel every ounce of your love for your beloved Belle in this post. 

One of the most difficult things to deal with when our beloved companions pass, aside from the obvious loss of their companionship, is the loss of our routines with them.   Our routines define us, solidify our relationships with them, and come to be as familiar and comfortable as an old pair of shoes through the years.   When our babies leave us, we are left stumbling tearfully through silent, empty, routine-less days that seem to go on forever.   We have all felt this pain.   It hurts like hell.

I choose to believe Belle is proudly beaming down at you from Rainbow Bridge, eying that second cup of coffee.....and smiling.   She loves you still.  She remains close to you.  Feel her love as you drink that second cup in her memory.   Her love will give you the strength you need to place her stone.

Hugs and peace,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom
Meriam

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Posts: 1,234
 #4 
Hello, Our beloved Hershala used to give the old ranchers near our home a reason to pause near the back pasture gate. Hersh was blind, but i taught him to ride our Morgan Al. he used to sit on her rump and she would wander around in the pasture to give the Hersh his giddy-ap. Hersh helped Al deliver Piper Sullivan in April. Please find the good memories as you sip your coffee. Al is now allowing baby Kuggel up on her back. We have a new generation with Kuggel and Piper Sullivan. Peace to you and our deepest sympathy. Meriam, Silver. Mozart and Kugge;
bugsdogs

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Posts: 1,288
 #5 
Frank,
The loss of our loved ones leaves us and our homes with such a "loud" and sad silence. When I first lost Chancey and Digby I found a saying that seems appropriate right now. "THE LOSS OF THEIR ENERGY IS EVERYWHERE." I am sure that is what it feels like without your Belle.

Belle was such a part of your life; she helped make it what it is; and to lose that is so painful. I know how you miss your friend and I wish I had words that would help but all I can say is that we just find a way to live with this loss and ache for them. I think that the ache will stay forever, we just learn to adjust to this new life without them. 

I am glad that you have made a headstone for her and that when the time is right you will honor her with it. May that give you some comfort.

Helen
rupertsmum

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Posts: 820
 #6 
Frank

Your post was lovely, you had me in tears.  I lost my Rupert 21 weeks ago and I still feel the pain.  He was my friend and companion and I miss that every day. That is the hard part. They are no longer sick and their spirit is around us. I talk to his picture and I bought a concrete black cat that looked like him and put him in the garden and I made a white cross to put in the garden but I haven't been able to do it yet.  Rupert's ashes are safe inside with me. 

There will come a time when you can look at the toys and photos without crying but grieving is very personal and we all take different lengths of time. Ruperts Mum
Georgeann

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Posts: 2,245
 #7 
Dear Frank:
I am so sorry for your loss of Belle.  I felt every ounce of your pain in your words and unfortunately understand it well.  I lost my Little Angel Christopher over 15 months ago.  He was my Heart, My Soul and My Best Friend.  My life has been such a nightmare since he left.  Some days the pain is just overwhelming.  These Precious Angels steal our Hearts and take our Souls with them when they leave.  I miss Christopher as much today as the day he left.  I still cry for him every day.  I know that I will miss him Forever.  I wish that there was something I could say to ease your grief, but in the 15 months I have been looking I have found nothing that helps.  You, your wife and Belle are in my Prayers.  We are all here when you need us and we all understand. 

Big Hugs
Georgeann and Christopher
Forever
aurichwolf

Registered:
Posts: 555
 #8 
Dear Frankk,
 
I know just how your heart is breaking for mine broke 3 years and 6 months ago in the same way.
It was just two days before Christmas in 2004 when I had to make that heart breaking decision to let my beloved golden retriever who had been my guide dog for 11 years and 9 months run ahead to Rainbow Bridge.
He had traveled everywhere with me from the day the trainer put his leash in my hand till the day we had to part.
 
At first it just doesn't seem possible they aren't there any more.
We expect to see them in their favorite places and they are empty.
We think we hear them but there is no one there.
We even call their name at times but no one is there to answer.
It takes time to accept the fact that they are not physically here with us and you must give yourself all the time you need to do that but we never have to accept that they are not with us because they are.
They are everywhere but most especially they live in our heart.
There is a cord that connects us that no eye can see and that can never be broken.
We just have to let ourselves be comforted by the wonderful memories we shared and know that one day we will be with them again never to part.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife as you walk this path and I know that your Belle is now your guardian angel watching over every foot step you take.
 
Love and Peace,
AurichWolf
Kathy
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