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choochoo

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Posts: 97
 #1 
My pug Jaylo is having serious health issues.Shes 17 years old has bad arthritis kidney issues her heart is pushing close to her trachea making it sometimes difficult to breathe.and she's almost blind with dementia setting in.She is on many meds and doing ok but now she has trouble getting up falls many times walks into corners and cries a lot usually at night or if she can't get up.she has a few seizures so I'm sure so damage done.She still eating and drinking but now goes to the bathroom in the house and will soil herself as she can't stand up to go only to urinate.Im so sad and guilty to have to put her to sleep I know she's had a good life but now the meds don't seem to help and she looks like she's in pain and doesn't really have any fun only she likes to eat which she always did the most.not sure if I should let her go peaceful she cries so much.if I don't want her to suffer .gonna have to call the vet today I'm so confused but I know the right choice is to let her go but last time I did I felt so guilty?I think I have to though it's hurts so much thanks for listening




Butch

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Posts: 17
 #2 
It sounds like you've given her a wonderful life, and it's just time to do the right thing for her.  There's no reason to feel guilty at all.  In fact, it's the last act of love you can give her to keep her from suffering any more.
Muleymaggie

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Posts: 9
 #3 
Sounds like she’s had a long wonderful life with you so the hardest part is saying goodbye for now. Quality of life sounds very diminished for her and, I’ve been there, it’s painful to see them suffering. I have had to make that decision three times, horrible decision, but each was put into a comfortable sleep first so I had time to hold and love on them one last time befor the final injection. It is peaceful, but I would highly suggest you be there for her comfort and keep them secure. I wish you well with the situation no matter how you manage it. It is painful for us to let them go. I just hasd to say goodbye to mine a week ago and had no warning...cardiac arrest. The shock was overwhelming and I feel like I failed mine by not seeing the signs, no matter how suttle. I feel for your struggle and guilt is a part of this process. Give yourself grace as you’ve been a loving pup parent.
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #4 
Thank you Butch and Muleymaggie for your help.I appreciate the support it does make me feel better.I still haven't called the vet she was a little better today but her quality of life is low.her only fun is eating other than that she is confused with anxiety.Muleymaggie I lost my boxer about 4 years ago sudden to a rupture tumor that was probably cancer so I know how you feel.I too blamed myself as there were "subtle signs" that I should have seen..But if you or I would have thought anything was wrong we would have ran to the vet.looking back we always question but our pets hide their illness from us we can't see things at the time.My 17 pug I still haven't decided but probably see the weekend it's still so hard to do and I know the pain and guilt I'm gonna suffer will be bad but I can't let her suffer now .Its just so hard to know when it's time but Her time is probably now.thanks to you and anyone else who listened and please comment if you can.take care
Muleymaggie

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #5 
Keep in mind, regardless if she goes on her own or you have to make a decision, guilt is part of the healing process. It’s normal as you go through an emotional storm of letting go. I wish you well. This is tragically very painful and inevitably unavoidable. I’m sorry you are having to experience this...
Labradorgurl

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Posts: 5
 #6 
I’m sorry to hear about your girl. I could have written this exactly as the story was a lot like my Lacie girl. The last days are hard beyond belief, but you do find comfort knowing that you’ll do the right thing and end any suffering. It’s one of the hardest decisions and can’t be made easily. Know we were all here to listen and support each other though this grief. My last days I took lots of pictures, spent time cuddling, spoiling them with favorite foods and making paw prints.
Your girl sounds like she was well taken care of and had a great life. Don’t feel guilty and beat yourself up. Hugs
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #7 
Thank you Butch and Muleymaggie for your help.I appreciate the support it does make me feel better.I still haven't called the vet she was a little better today but her quality of life is low.her only fun is eating other than that she is confused with anxiety.Muleymaggie I lost my boxer about 4 years ago sudden to a rupture tumor that was probably cancer so I know how you feel.I too blamed myself as there were "subtle signs" that I should have seen..But if you or I would have thought anything was wrong we would have ran to the vet.looking back we always question but our pets hide their illness from us we can't see things at the time.My 17 pug I still haven't decided but probably see the weekend it's still so hard to do and I know the pain and guilt I'm gonna suffer will be bad but I can't let her suffer now .Its just so hard to know when it's time but Her time is probably now.thanks to you and anyone else who listened and please comment if you can.take care
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #8 
I just made appointment to have her put to sleep tommoroe morning.I waited a week her blood test was good for kidney function but overall been a struggle.Her breathing is shallow legs still bad getting up and falling.she cries most of the day either cause she can't get up is confused or just bad anxiety.She poops and pees when laying down but does pee outside if I take her in time but the lasix makes her pee so much.Shes eating and drinking well but paces most of day and cries and tries to get in corners usually gets stuck there.She just ate and feel guilty letting her go but I know tonight she will cry and have trouble breathing like the past week.the worse is seeing her lying in her urine or poop and just can't get up.I know she has dementia and is confused .I had her 17 plus years so I think I making right choice but still feel guilty.shes has no fun no life only likes eating but rest of time she looks confused scared and not happy.thanks for listening trying to brace for the horrible day tommoroe.any thoughts appreciated Im just so sad
Muleymaggie

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #9 
The hardest part is saying goodbye, but it sounds like the joy in life has left her so as her parent, you have to let her find peace. We all know the house will not be the same for a long time, her things will still be there and you will feel pain from loosing her. Hold her at the vet, talk to her, snuggle and remind her you will eventually see each other again. It is so difficult watching them suffer and that’s when we know it’s time. No more crying, no more inability to get up or having to be in her own urine. Bless you as you go through this struggle. It’s been two plus weeks for me, not easy, but getting better. Take the time to grieve as that will ease your pain over time. I go back and look at photos and videos which remind me of how much Maggie enjoyed life. Treasure your ability to say goodbye and I love you. Not all of us get that opportunity.
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #10 
Thanks Muleymaggie for your kind words they do help.It broke my heart to see her slip away at the vets.I had my hand on her and told her I loved her thanked her for being with me even though I know she couldn't hear me.It was so hard to watch.I know she wasn't enjoying life much anymore besides the times she ate and struggled throughout the day confused in some pain distressed with much anxiety..She would cry and whine I felt so helpless.but her trouble breathing was too much to see.I think she could went on a bit longer but things would only get worse.Just miss her and hope I did the right thing.I know it will take time to get over any guilt I feel but at least there is no more pain confusion and struggle for her now I will struggle with her loss.It just doesn't seem fair to love so long andt then have to make the choice to end her pain by ending her life.thanks to all who listened to me .hope I can remember all the good times and forget the ending.
Muleymaggie

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #11 
You did the right thing so be kind to yourself. It’s a tough time but she knew you were there as she could feel you and hear you. It’s just fine to cry, we’ve all been there . I still struggle each day and wake in the middle of the night feeling like she was just there visiting me. I take comfort in that. I hope as you heal you find peace knowing she’s comfortable again and happy.
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