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babydaisy

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Posts: 38
 #1 
Hello..

I'm new on here & my life has been shattered!
Last month I had to put my 15 year old chihuahua to sleep. She had kidney failure which I managed to stabilise for 1 year with the help of hills prescription food & Ipakatine! Her bloods improved so much within the space of 1 month a d were almost back to normal, however she had bad arthritis in her back legs which unfortunately got so bad that she didn't enjoy walking. She was on steroids which helped increase her appetite but it made her hair fall out. Towards the end she started to go off her food and was loosing weight and seeing her like that was breaking my heart. She weighed less than 2kilos at the end.

She was my 1st and only dog & I lived alone with her & she was my entire world. I keep punishing myself thinking I should have done more and even though euthanasia is said to be an act of love I still feel racked with guilt. I am hurting more than I have ever done and the pain is palpable. I have cried every single day since we parted and I can't get the images of that awful day out of my head. I can't open my blinds or wash some of the clothing which I wore when I last held her. I am pining so much and it hurts just to breath. :-_(((
GoldenMom

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Posts: 22
 #2 
I am very, very sorry for your loss. I loss the most amazing dog yesterday and I share your feelings of grief. I too am wracked with guilt asking myself, “did I do enough” and “why didn’t I do this or that”. I know these feelings are a normal part of grief and I have to be gentle with myself. It sounds like you were so caring and supportive to your beloved dog and deserve to be gentle with yourself as well. Losing a pet is so painful. Please continue to share your feelings and know you are not alone.
Brandy_Mommy18

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Posts: 10
 #3 
babydaisy, I am so sorry...I know your pain, your guilt, your need to keep your beloved pet with you in some way...it's so hard to know what to say to someone in so much pain...be strong and know that you are not alone...let time take you through it...sending hugs to you.
babydaisy

Registered:
Posts: 38
 #4 
I am so so sorry for your loss also. I have also been told to be gentle and kind to myself but all I can think of is that she is no longer physically here & it is killing me. I know everyone has their own way of dealing with grief & I have just gone with the flow of allowing whatever I have felt to flow right through me and to not push it away. I send you a hug and hope this helps somehow. I used to travel with my little darling up and down the country for many years and have only ever been apart from her once. I feel so lonely and detached from the world and from people as I feel they do not understand and ask if I'm going to get another dog.
GoldenMom

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #5 
babydaisy, it is such an adjustment to not having my boy here. He was a huge dog so his physical presence was great and his love for us was even bigger. It’s hard to loose his unconditional love. I can appreciate feeling detached from the world. I do too. I’m sorry someone has asked you if you’re going to get another dog. You’re grieving and need to be supported in your grief. Hugs to you as well. I’m feeling right now that my broken heart won’t heal. I know with time that it will but right now I am so thankful to share my feelings with others who understand what I am going through.
babydaisy

Registered:
Posts: 38
 #6 
goldenmon. Thankyou, it is comforting that we can all express our emotions on here without being judged. My thoughts are with you. Sending u light and love.
MossimoLove

Registered:
Posts: 42
 #7 
babydaisy,

im so sorry for your loss and understand the depth of your pain. Thank you for sending your kindness to us all.  Its so hard to navigate these days now, especially when our bonds were the biggest part of our lives. Mossimo was in every second of my life and this change has been devastating.  And it sounds like Daisy was the same for you.  I do hope in time we will be able to live with this pain, and that we are able to move forward with grace. 
Sending patience, kindness and care to you. 
be gentle with yourself
mossimo's mom,
anastacia
babydaisy

Registered:
Posts: 38
 #8 
Mossimolove.

Thankyou so much for your support..

It is a very lonely world without our babies and although they live such short lives they leave us with enormous amounts of loving memories.. Looking forward to those days that will bring smiles instead tears..

Hugs to you
babydaisy
JimMillerPetLover

Registered:
Posts: 25
 #9 
I feel your pain loud and clear. My heart goes out to you. The grieving process is different for each and everyone of us. Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings. 
JimMillerPetLover

Registered:
Posts: 25
 #10 
Hello All:

  I just registered today after losing my beloved Border Collie - Shelby. She was (18) years old. She was remarkably healthy her entire life. It was within the last few weeks that things started to happen. Shelby started to have seizures and had a big one this morning. I rushed her to the Vet's but it was time for her to go. I have been crying all day long. This wasn't just my dog - she was little soul-mate. The emotional bond I had with her was beyond description. We were in sync together from day one and it lasted (18) years. The pain I feel right now is excruciating. Almost unbearable. I know many of the people reading this have gone through this before and can relate. To help with the grieving process, I have been on the phone calling friends (pet people friends, that is). I would'be posted a picture of Shelby but the pain is just too great. Maybe, I'll do that later on. 
I remember when my marriage dissolved many years ago, I didn't think anything could be worse. I was wrong. This is worse - much worse. Thanks for reading my post.
babydaisy

Registered:
Posts: 38
 #11 
JimMillerPetLover.

Thankyou for your thoughts and so sorry for your loss..
It is such a difficult time and the pain is unbearable. I feel so alone and have panic attacks coming down my road knowing my baby is not there at home..

Sending you love and comfort

babydaisy
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