Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
SashaL

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #1 
Tonight, I lost my best friend; Pigeon was a 15 year old mini dachshund and my shadow... I don't mean to offend anyone and I really hope I don't but, as a woman without children... He was like my baby.
I am an ASD adult experiencing her first true loss and I'm at an absolute loss of how to get through this, something I'm sure everyone must feel when they're slammed with grief. I'm terrified of these emotional outbursts and the horrific pain I feel when I think about what all I've lost when he died.
I'd been dealing with his illness since April but with his medication, he seemed to be doing so much better!! Then,... It all just...
Is anyone else feeling afraid of the pain like me? I'm so scared of seeing something that just reminds me he's gone and then the overwhelming sense of pain and then the utter breakdown. I've been screaming and pounding on the walls, literally pulling on my hair trying to rip it out, I guess maybe either to feel like I've got something to hold on to or to give myself physical pain to distract me from this emotional torture... Maybe both...
I'm scared I have nothing to distract myself with so all I'll do is dwell, dwell, dwell. All the sites say you HAVE to distract yourself but one part of me feels so guilty and the other just can't find any interest in doing anything.

I've been dealing with the preemptory grief and just when everything felt like it would be okay... That he would be okay, what with the vet saying he believed Pigeon had another few years... And the grief had finally lifted, I lost him....

I'm very sorry for this long post, I just don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm dying (but please don't worry, I have alerted my suicide support team and I'm physically safe) and I just don't know how to get through this sec by sec... How do I survive this??? How do I do this??? Please tell me HOW to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second :(
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #2 
Hello Sashal,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wanted to respond because we have a couple things in common.  I too had a mini dachshund but a long haired one.  You were blessed that your Pigeon lived to be 15.  My Dickens only lived to be 13 years and 5 months.  His death was sudden 5 months ago.  But I too never had children and my pets were my kids.  Although I loved all the pets I've had in my life there's always a special one and Dickens was it for me.  His death hit me hard and I am still struggling.  Your loss is so new.  It's normal for you to feel intense pain and grief.  All I can tell you is you have to go through it but at the same time be kind to yourself.  It may help you to talk about it either here or seek out a grief counselor.  It will take time.   It may help to have people around you that are supportive.  I totally understand your feelings of fearing the pain and I'm sure everyone on this site does too.  My dog Dickens was my baby too.  I don't think it's unusual for people to feel that way about their pets.  Just know you are not alone in your feelings.  I wish I had a magic potion to take everyone's pain away.
Just recently I too was dealing with preemptory grief with my cat Molly.  I knew the time was coming that she would have to be put to sleep.  But I kept putting it off and watching her like a hawk to make sure she wasn't suffering.  But the time came and I'm grieving her too.  I actually waited to long and feel guilty about that. 
Again I am so sorry for your loss and I'll be thinking of you.
Remember to take care of yourself.
skmk
arosettamason48

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #3 
SashaL,

I am so sorry for your loss. I promise you that you are not alone. What you are suffering right now with the violent compulsions of having absolutely no control over the fact that your baby is gone and you can never have him in the flesh again is also what I am experiencing. I have had panic attacks the last two nights where the intrusive thought of never being able to be with him again pops up.. my entire becomes this hot and searing cold and I begin sobbing and screaming his name and I begin ripping at my hair or scratching at my arms and legs. I've been told it is PTSD and to seek help but there isn't a counselor or therapist in this world that can bring him back. And that's all I want.. I just want him back.

Please know that you are not alone in your pain.
SashaL

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #4 

Please help me to get through this, if we could text, or better, talk on the phone and share our grief, just sob to one another, maybe it would help??
My number is ***-***-**** and my name is Sasha. I don't know how I'm going to make this.





Note: Personal information like phone numbers cannot be posted publicly.
*To contact SashaL, click on her name and send her a Private Message. - EdW

arosettamason48

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #5 
Sasha,
Your phone number was blocked out here. Check your personal messages. Hang in there and talk to you soon
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #6 
I’m so sorry for your pain. I just lost my shadow of 14 years and feel like I can’t go on. I went to Petco to return a case of food and broke down hard. The clerk had me pet and cuddle with one of the kitties waiting for adoption and I know you may not be ready but think about becoming a foster to a pet it may help you to have purpose again which is a big part of our bond with our babies.
Sweetpea7

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #7 
My heart aches for you all. I am still grieving for my little Peanut. And Spanky from back in Oct.Missing them both so much it hurts.

First time I’ve been without a cat in over 30 years and the void was too much. It’s 2 weeks today since Peanut passed.soI have adopted another cat. I am so use to feeding,cleaning litters ,caring for my cats the shock of no longer having to was too much . the new kitty is helping me by balancing out my losses.Giving me a purpose.I still want my Peanut back and I still cry.butat least I have a new cat to care for and keep company with which helps fill my days.

Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #8 
That is fantastic news I was so worried about you. 💕🐾
Sweetpea7

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #9 
The grief from losing our beloved furbabies is overwhelming..excruciating.
Thinking of you all and sending prayers and hugs.
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: