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Blake

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Posts: 2
 #1 
This is very hard to talk about a week ago today I had to put my baby girl to sleep due to cancerous tumors veterinarian diagnosed. My little baby girl has been with me on the truck all the time she was my soul I support my partner my best friend. That was a very hard decision but the veterinarian said that he could give her steroid shots and chemo but it would only prolong her life for a couple weeks permeability we're starting to deteriorate and she just wasn't having quality life. I made the decision to have her pass over to Rainbow Bridge with her mom and dad and all our past for babies but I feel so guilty and It's haunting me that I could not be when they did the procedure. My guilt is eating me up and I feel like I betrayed her or abandon her. She spend my rock 4/8 years and the thought of letting her go was hard enough but I am emotionally could not be there when they did the procedure. I love and miss my baby girl Riann so much.
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 837
 #2 
I am sorry for your loss of Riann. I have always tried to be with my fur kids when they pass and understand your feelings. Several years ago I took my kitty to the vet and I was in such pain from an injury that one of the vet techs actually drove me to the ER. While I was there my vet called and told me Boo had a brain tumor and said she thought she was suffering. I asked her to please give her a lot of love for me and she promised she would. I sat in the ER crying wishing I could be there but felt it would be cruel to wait. Please do not torment yourself. Truthfully most of us always do the shoulda's, woulda's and that simply makes our sorrow so much worse. The most important thing is that you love Riann and cared for her every day you were together and she loves you in return. You are among friends here, we have all experienced losses and offer comfort and support whenever you need us. Please take care, you will be in my thoughts.
JoeR

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Posts: 67
 #3 
Thank you for sharing.
emjl81

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Posts: 7
 #4 
I feel your pain. Reading other people like you and your beloved dogs story is helping me in a difficult time as well. 
Blake

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #5 
I want to thank you all for your prayers and thoughts my guilt is overwhelming and I know that brings the spirit of my fur baby down because I know she wants me to be happy but I am just so guilty of not being there during her time of need I wished I would have had the emotional stability to be there during her passing I just couldn't and that is selfish on my part I loved her so much and I miss her so much I am beside myself with grief and guilt and I'm hoping that she's looking down and she will forgive me
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #6 
Dearest Blake,
I know how you feel but it doesn't matter if you are there with them or not you and I and most of here feel the guilt of letting our fur babies go. I was with Termy when he crossed over but I felt and still feel guilty because I have the should of, could of and wished for a different our come. You and I and most of us here know it was for the best and done out of pure love. We are with them all their lives and we want to be there with them during the final act of love but sometimes circumstances prevent us from being with them. I know for a very long time I couldn't stop reliving Termy's final moments in my arms but I wouldn't have wanted him to be there all alone. Be kind to yourself and know in your heart that Rianne would never hate you and understands why. She will be waiting for you at the Bridge to cross over with you, of this I am sure.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
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