Registered: 1542588988 Posts: 4
Our best friend fought cancer for over 2 1/2 years. He completed 4 rounds of chemo and 30 radiation treatments in another state. He was the best dog on this entire earth!!! We rescued him 5 years ago. He was homeless. We found him with a stick stuck in the roof of his mouth and a huge fatty tumor. We had those fixed immediately and he was our baby from that day forward. He spend mostly all of his time indoors and was an indoor dog. Fast forward 2 years post chemo. We had our first baby. Our son was crawling etc. I was informed that even after 2 years there could be chemo that is detectable in the urine of animals and humans. I realize now it was my ocd that got the best of me. Dexter was showing no signs of his cancer illness at all. He was always so happy but he was incontinent secondary to radiation. He started needed out every couple hours to pee and poop and I was always worried in the back of my mind about the urine leaking and my son possibly being exposed. Since the weather was nice my husband and I decided to let our dog stay outside alot and run and even put a dog house outside with a plush bed and heater in case he got cold in 60 to 70 degree weather. He ended up liking it and even staying outside at night quite a bit. Before winter started we brought him inside for good. I will NEVER forgive myself for this. Little did we know his cancer was brewing and came back with a vengeance. We lost him a couple weeks later. He was so happy and healthy and declined in 2 days. Help me!
Registered: 1542588988 Posts: 4
Does anyone care to help me?
Registered: 1535970667 Posts: 21
I'm sorry for your loss, you gave Dexter love and a good home.
Best Regards Carl
Registered: 1158205770 Posts: 839
Please accept my deepest sympathy. Losing someone we love as much as you love Dexter is absolutely devastating. We do the best we can possibly do to care for our kids in little fur coats. We love them with every fiber of our being and they return our love unconditionally. When we have been away even for an hour they are ecstatic when we return, wagging their tails in welcome. You gave Dexter the very best care but sadly so many illnesses reduce their life with us. Please don't blame yourself. Let the tears flow, Dexter is worthy of every one of them. Though there are no words to make your pain go away, in time your tears will lessen and you will be able to remember the wonderful life you shared and smile. Dexter is still with you though you cannot see him. He left part of his heart nestled next to yours and there may be times you can actually feel his presence. Please take care and know that others are here to help you as you travel this desolate road filled with pain.
Registered: 1529423348 Posts: 167
Your Dexter was a brave little trouper who fought the brave fight for as long as he could. And the care and effort you put in to help him fight his dread disease was terrific - you clearly did the best you could for sure. Ultimately all things must pass, and Dexters time was up. The way our pets go must seem like the most horrible thing, but I guess there's no such thing as a happy death.
Loving as deeply as you did, the aftermath will be one of the most painful and difficult experiences you will face. It may take a long time for the hurt to lessen. And you will miss Dexter for a long time to come. Distraction is the only thing that can help, so try to keep yourself occupied - it may give you some respite from the crushing pain and loss you feel. A year down the road, I still miss my cat every day and teared up every day since her demise. It may seem like the sadness will never end, but every day that we suffer and slog through will surely bring us a step towards a happier state somewhere down the road.
Registered: 1498611382 Posts: 580
I am so sorry that I didn't see your post sooner. It's hard to lose our fur kids and then to feel so alone and that no one cares. I had the same expedience when I lost my heart Dog, Termy. I have found very deep and caring people here on Pet Loss, as you will to. I feel the love you have for Dexter in your words. I am so sorry that the evil cancer took him from you. No matter how we lose them, it rips your heart out. In time you will start to remember the journey you shared with Dexter and your pain will lessen. You will still have days when emotion will over take you but that's okay. Cry all you need to and when you need to, it's all part of healing. Your pain will lessen but it will never completely go away. God only lends us our babies for a short time and when their mission is over he calls them home. Dexter knows the depth of your love and he will always be great full for the love and compassion you showed him. You will see him again and be reunited forever and the kisses you get will remind you why you did what you did. Be kind to your self, Dexter would want that.
Love and doggie hugs Termy's mom