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Treasie87

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Hi
I'm so grateful I have found this forum to turn to. 6 long devastating days have passed since I took the decision to put my parson Russell terrier George to sleep due to worsening aggression. He was just 3 years old. He was always a hyper dog obsessed with light and shadows and barked at planes and the TV and was like a white whirlwind through the house. He was the most funny, character you could imagine and very true to his breed.
Over the last 12 months aggression had begun to set in, lunging at my husband on the sofa and my husband having to get up quickly still managing to get bitten on his arm or back with rips in shirts and t-shirts. He also lunged at my father in the same way and I was not even in the house at the time. He bit his hand. We ended up making excuses and reasons for his behaviour and such aggression continued as well as a very vicious attack on my husband when gently washing some poo from George's back end that had stuck to his fur. This attack we even put down to the fact that dogs just don't like their back ends being touched and we let this go too.
More recently when my daughter's came home from school we would go into the kitchen and George would lunge at my youngest daughter and growl but never bite.
The worst attack took place last Thursday. George and my husband were in the garden. My husband was lying on the sun lounger and George came over and knocked my husband's hand to stroke him. My husband stroked him lovingly and talked to him. When he stopped George knocked his arm again to continue so he did. Then out of nowhere a wild frenzied attack took place. My husband was struggling to get off the sun lounger. When he finally managed to get off he had to kick George away and George just seemed to come to his senses and wonder what on Earth had happened. My husband ended up in hospital for treatment to his arms and a deep wound to his hand where George had not let go. This was the final straw and I knew what I had to do. I have 2 young daughter's and the unpredictability of such a ferocious attack happening again was too much. Human safety had to be the priority. Giving him just one more chance could have had consequences that don't bear thinking about.
So my beautiful George went to the Rainbow Bridge I was with him as he went on his way and I am in desolation, inconsolable and wracked with guilt, regret and utter emptiness. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and can't imagine life ever not hurting. The grief is almost too much to bear and I hope I can find peace again one day.........
SmileyMyLove

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Posts: 19
 #2 
I can’t imagine how you’re feeling! I am also sad for George! Animals also get mental illness and you did the right thing in protecting the family and community. If George had gone to a shelter he may have never been adopted. At least he had a life where he experienced being loved. Just remember that only one in 10 dogs ever get that chance. I’m sorry for you because I know how he did give joy and how difficult that can be.
Treasie87

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #3 
Thank you so much much taking the time to reply to me during these dark days. You mentioned mental illness and looking back at his behavioural traits and the worsening attacks I think you're right and this is something friends have suggested. I was told by the vet as you have said that he may never be rehomed due to the aggression and him spending his life without me on the earth cold and scared was also too much to bear. I hope that in time I will realise that it was the only option but this deep panicky raw grief is not allowing that at the moment. We had such a special bond. He loved us all but me in particular and I loved him all the world. He knew this. he followed me everywhere around the house and garden and this pain, panic , guilt and regret just takes over and consumes me. Was there anything else I could have done? What ifs........etc.......
I am even more touched that you responded to my story after then taking the time to read yours because I know you are feeling and grieving the sudden dreadful loss of your wonderful dog too and to find words to reply to me when you are going through the same is so brave. I feel for you and Smiley so much and the circumstances that surrounded his passing. We are for different reasons both going through the I'll never forgive myself stage and we both can't ever see a way out of this. I hope in time you will be able to bond with your other dog. Whilst my guilt is that I had to make the decision to take George on his last journey and be there when he passed, yours is that you weren't there when Smiley passed. It's just heartbreaking. My heart is shattered and I just want my naughty, quirky beautiful, lovable, funny boy back.
I am thinking of you all the way over here in the UK.
Keep in touch
SmileyMyLove

Registered:
Posts: 19
 #4 
Quirky, lovable, beautiful dog. I can only imagine how difficult it was to put him down. The guilt must be tremendous. And the bond must have been so strong. Moreover, dogs like that have us trained to look for their joys every day. Thank you for kind words about Smiley. Your message brought the tears back. What has helped me is making a picture wall to celebrate his life and to remember the great things about him. I am also making myself write a travel journal about Colombia and the sad shock coming back. I can’t really cope with my feelings otherwise. Maybe it would help you, as well? Here are some of my favorite pictures: Smiley as a baby the first day I brought him home, Smiley and Gator as puppies, Smiley and Gator, Smiley the activities director with friends (he’d be a great pub dog because he liked everyone to have fun), Smiley looking out at a hike in the desert, and Smiley climbing up a rock to peep out.
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