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JaneSG

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Posts: 2
 #1 
We rescued our budgie, Lewey 3 years ago, he was found on the floor outside our home. He had deformed legs, spine and an overgrown beak. Took him to vets for check up and they all gave general advice on nutrition, nothing in particular.

Over time, he was so full of life, chirping so loudly, eating more veggies and fruits, spouts and his beak had stopped over growing and his feathers were improved. 2 days ago he started fluffing up and looking really lethargic, took him to the vet immediately and she gave him a grim prognosis saying possible liver disease. He started losing grip and was struggling to stay on the perches. Had to give him 7 types of medication and supplements. I feel so guilty for not removing the last low perch earlier as he was still adamant on climbing the grill and staying up on the perch. He was so full of fighting spirit despite how weak he was. Instead I watched him struggle and fall, clinging to the sides of the cage to support himself. I spoke to him but i wished I had opened the cage to hold him or give him warmth. But Lewey isn't tame and he's afraid of hands so I was afraid i'd stress him more.

Next day his condition got worse, he wasn't eating and I took him to another avian vet. The vet mentioned he had very small chance of survival. I asked if Lewey was suffering and the vet said hard to say. I asked if it would be better if we put him to sleep the vet said let's wait and see for now and said if he improved in 24-48 hours, he had a chance. 

Lewey didn't make it through the night. The guilt I feel is watching him having to suffer at the vets being prodded, squeezed (he had poop stuck inside him), had his beak clipped, force fed while he was having muscle spasms and crying. Why did I put him through that when I should have thought of euthanizing him despite what the vet said. When we returned home, he was slumped with his head on the floor eyes closed and his little body barely breathing. The last time I saw him was 5am when we had to syringe feed him food and medicine, he cried again but opened his eyes to look at me as if to say goodbye. I wanted so badly to cradle him in my hand to let him feel warmth and to kiss him but instead I left him inside the cage to die alone. I should have thought of putting a heating pad. We already had 2 covers around the cage and some towers to keep him warm. But still, maybe he had better chance with more heat. We live in a hot country though but it was a cooler night.

His sweet face and tiny body slumped over is eating me up inside. I can't forgive myself. Also the only kiss he received was when he had already passed. And I decided against getting him a buddy as I was afraid the healthy budgie would bully him for his disabilities.. so he died alone, cold and suffering.
Raychel

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Posts: 26
 #2 
Hi there

What a gorgeous little character Lewey was from your story. I’m so sorry for your loss.

You were relying on advice from experts in treating Lewey who knew more than you and even they didn’t know how sick Lewey was. Don’t feel guilty about that. But they can’t always be right as it must be super hard when our feathered friends can’t talk. You did everything you could for Lewey, but he was obviously really, really sick. The Vets must’ve thought he had a chance as they don’t want to see unnecessary suffering of pets either. I know how much you wanted to hold him, but you didn’t because you said he was afraid of hands and you didn’t want to stress him. So his needs overrode yours even then because you were doing the right thing for him.

You rescued him, cared for and loved him, right up until the end. We can’t always be there when our loved ones go, but the most important thing is the love and care during their lives. Lewey was a lucky little budgie to get a second chance with you, and to have you caring for him until the end.

Sending hugs to you. X
JaneSG

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Posts: 2
 #3 
Hi Raychel, thank you for sending this kind note, it really helped during the tough few weeks he's been gone.
Yes you're right, Lewey was definitely a gorgeous little character. Tiny but bursting with life... He also wasn't imposing like our other birds, just content to be around us and very sweet.

The other day Lewey's favourite bird, the Alexandrine parakeet came by to visit as it must have been wondering why our neighbourhood is quieter. It was a nice moment to know that his presence was also missed by his friends in the sky.


Angel_Dawn

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #4 
Lewey was so lucky to have had you for those 3 years. You are an exceptional birdie momma. As for euthonasia....its a double edged sword my dear. You're devastated if you do and devastated if you don't. You listened to the vets as they should know better right?
I didn't listen fully to mine and had to euthonize my kitty. I learned the hard way that vets don't always know everything. You see in my case I ran EKG, abdominal ultrasound on my cat, 2 xrays and found out that her left lung was collapsed. She also was limping on her hind left leg, had chronic kidney failure, hypertension and the ER vets strongly suspected cancer. She was 14.5.
The vets wanted to do more diagnostic testing and were suggesting chemotherapy. I knew Dawn, my cat couldn't even tolerate antibiotics. She stopped eating, drinking was restless, then contracted fluid in her lungs, went into a respiratory failure and I rushed her to the vet to help her get rid of the body that was no longer serving her. At times I struggle really hard with my decision. Thinking what if I ran all those additional tests... Then again my kitty would not survive chemotherapy so why do the tests and torture her more.
Anyway, you gave your birdie so much love. He was one lucky guy. I am sure he keeps you tucked in very deeply in his little heart while he is exploring the beauty of heaven. He is flying real high in heaven right now.

Hope you find some peace soon,

Violetta, Angel and Dawn's mom
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