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Angn1221

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Posts: 7
 #1 
Friday my husband and I had our 10 month old kitten Bella put to sleep due to feline luekemia. She tested negative in december and we were full of joy!

Last week we noticed she wasnt her normal playful self and all she rrally wanted to do was sleep. She wasnt eating as much. I noticed her eating cat litter. I bought her vitamins hoping to boost her iron with no luck. She began breathing hard,her gums and the pads of her paws were white.

I got her into our vet on friday and he said it could be felv. He sent us to medvets for testing and a possible blood transfusion if she wad felv negative.

Medvets confirmed she tested positive and my world came crashing down. They said they could do the transfusion but it would only buy her days. So my husband and I made the hardest choice of our lives. We didnt want her to suffer a horrible painful death by taking her home out of our own selfishness because they told us she only had days left.

She died peacefully in my arms and my grief and guilt have been unbearable. I cant even be in my house without crying all day. My house just feels empty. I have 2 little girls that cant really come to grips with why a 10 month old kitten had to die. Ive cried so much and so hard that Ive busted blood vessels in my eyes.

The guilt just wont stop haunting me. Even tho in my mind I know it was best for her my heart just wont accept it. She was just a baby and so gorgeous. Please tell me I did the right thing...
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 837
 #2 
I am so very sorry for your loss. Many years ago I lost a kitten, about 9 months old to feleuk. Binky was so full of life and suddenly he showed the same symptoms as your Bella. I called my vet who told me to bring him in on my way to work so he could do a blood test. He called later the next day and said the test was positive and that he felt Binky was suffering. My baby was euthanized immediately.

You did absolutely the right thing, never doubt that. It was what was best for her and that is what we have to consider first and foremost. Bella had a wonderful home with you, always remember that.

Please take care. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Marsha
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 837
 #3 
I am so very sorry for your loss. Many years ago I lost a kitten, about 9 months old to feleuk. Binky was so full of life and suddenly he showed the same symptoms as your Bella. I called my vet who told me to bring him in on my way to work so he could do a blood test. He called later the next day and said the test was positive and that he felt Binky was suffering. My baby was euthanized immediately.

You did absolutely the right thing, never doubt that. It was what was best for her and that is what we have to consider first and foremost. Bella had a wonderful home with you, always remember that.

Please take care. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Marsha
Angn1221

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #4 
Thank you for the kind words. My guilt is would me have keeping her on the iron vitamins helped any? Should I have pushed for the blood transfusion even if I knew it would only give her days? What if she was a miracle cat and couldve pulled through? My vet even said she looked good besides her severe anemia. She showed no signs until 4 days ago and it took her down fast.

I miss her. I look for her even tho I know she isnt there. I replay her euthanasia over and over in my head. And while it was peaceful my heart is just ridden full of guilt.

My home just doesnt feel like home anymore.
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