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neecied

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Posts: 2
 #1 
At this time last night my husband and I were driving our 16 and a half year old rat terrier, Mickey to the vet to be put to sleep.  Mickey wasn't just a dog, a pet, a companion, etc.  For almost 17 years he was my life and my only reason for living.  There is no need to describe the experience of watching him being put to sleep and the devastation I am experiencing now.  My husband had to leave a little while ago to go to see his relatives.  All I want to do is drive to the George Washington Bridge and jump.  Can anyone tell me why I shouldn't?
sadken

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Posts: 4
 #2 
Neecied, if you are serious, please phone a distress line or seek help elsewhere. Your loss is deep and you are here with others that have experienced what you are going through. You have more love to give to a gentle new sole waiting to find you one day. Your dogs memories will be a blessing once you give yourself a chance to heal. I hope you feel your marriage, others are reasons enough to continue for now. Please be good to yourself. Thinks ng of you.

Ken.
Dogmommy

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Posts: 394
 #3 
Dear neecied,

I am so terribly, terribly sorry about your truly devastating loss of your beloved Mickey. Please accept my deepest condolences and heartfelt sympathy. I understand why you want to drive to the bridge and jump off but please do not do that. 
 
Unfortunately I know the pain--it is like having your heart literally ripped out--a pain so raw and sickening that it cannot be described and a grief that is nightmarish in it's intensity. But please believe me--it will eventually get better even though I know all too well that right now that it seems impossible to you that it will.
 
Here is a link to a post that I wrote. It is a true story. I had originally written it years ago when I had only had my beloved Buster for a few months. As time went on my love for him grew to an extent that was unimaginable--he was like a son to me and my entire world revolved around him. My mom, sister and all of my friends became totally obsessed with him too--I have never seen a dog have such an effect on people. The post also contains some links for comfort. If the link doesn't take you to my opening post just scroll up to the top of the page  Click here: GOD CARES DEEPLY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR PET - Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
 
A few years later when I had to send my beloved Buster to Heaven because of his lymphoma my grief was so horrendous that I am actually surprised that it didn't kill me. But eventually it got better. And yet again God sent me the perfect dog--my beloved Big Baby Baron--exactly when I needed him. He had been dumped in a kill pound by his previous owners and saved by the rescue. He was not a replacement for my beloved Buster--no dog could ever replace him--but I grew to love Big Baby Baron for himself and no dog could ever replace him either. I lost him out of the blue to a brain tumor a year ago : ( The shock and grief was like being hit by a freight train and was so horrible that it felt like it would never get better--even though I knew from experience that it would--and thankfully has.
 
And yet again God has sent me the perfect dog--a permanent foster from a rescue who had no hope of ever finding a home. He had had to live alone in a cage for nearly five years because no one would adopt him. The rescue lady was heartbroken because she thought that he would spend the rest of his life there and end up dying in the rescue. I am disabled and cannot do much but this was something that I could do--give love and happiness and a wonderful home to a dog that would have never known that without me and my sister.
 
Once again I am so terribly, terribly sorry for your devastating and heartbreaking loss and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
neecied

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Posts: 2
 #4 
I just can't take this pain. I have always had a dog or cat or both with me for the past 51 years. Now, as of day before yesterday, I have nothing. The grief is beyond words but I also feel rage. My Mickey was so pure and loyal and loving that he deserved to live forever. I guess I need people to tell me that they understand and felt the same way about their pet and that life is still worth living. Right now I don't feel like living.
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #5 
We all feel your pain and hurt as you do. We all understand that's why we're here to share our stories and just maybe get a little closure too. All of our babies are truly loyal and love us so unconditionally, I think this is what we miss the most. The warmth of their breath on our face, the softness of their fur, the adoring look in their eyes and their just being by our side. This we will miss for the rest of our lives. Yes, you are right, we now have nothing but memories. My Termy and your Micky are at the Bridge waiting for us to join them when our time is up. I wish I could say something to take away your pain and replace it with happiness but sadly I can't. I feel like you do to, I tell Termy every night I want to be with him because I am soooooo lonely. I know it's my pain talking so I look to the night sky and talk to him and blow him a kiss every night. This is all I can do. I hope others will write you and share with you also, it helps
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
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