Registered: 1555951957 Posts: 1
She had FIP. She usually sleeps next to me in bed but sometimes she’ll move to a spot on the floor between my bed and the wall because that’s where the heater is. Today I woke up around 6am and she wasn’t next to me. She was in her spot by my bed. I thought about picking her up and putting her back on bed next to me and petting her. I didn’t though because my mom told me sometimes I should leave her be so I just left her there and fell back asleep. At 9am I woke up and heard her meowing in the living room. She was laying completely on her side and meowing loudly like she was in pain. I picked her up because I was going to take her to my mom but she meowed even louder and moved around so I put her back down. I went to my mom’s room and woke her up and went back out. She was still laying there meowing and sometimes she would move around and meow even louder. We called the vet and took her there to be put down. I pet her the whole time, until she was gone.
I feel guilty because she’s such a lap cat and she always liked to be on my lap and around me and I should have been there for her before she started meowing in pain and laying on the ground because I know she would have wanted that. Just the thought of her walking from my room to the living room and then falling down and meowing in pain whilst I was in my room asleep is making me feel so guilty. She used to always wake me up purring in the morning. What if she wanted to jump on my bed but couldn’t because she felt so weak and was meowing for me but I didn’t hear her because I was asleep? Then she went in the living room and all that happened. I should have just put her on my bed when I woke up earlier. I don’t even know how long she was in the living room meowing like that before I woke up and heard her. I was half asleep when I heard her meowing and I almost thought I was imagining it and it took me like 20 seconds from hearing her first meow to realize what was going on and getting up. I’m glad I was there for her when she passed and in her last moments, but I feel guilty and sad because I wasn’t there for her in her last moments where she was feeling normal. She was in so much pain that she didn’t even realize what was going on. Her eyes wouldn’t react to seeing me and her ears wouldn’t react to hearing me. It was like I was there but she didn’t notice me. I should have been there before it got to that point. She spent her last moments where she felt normal/okay/like herself alone and the thought that she probably wanted me to be with her makes me so sad.
Registered: 1555828679 Posts: 3
I am truly sorry for your loss. She knew that you loved her. It also sounds like whatever happen to her cane on very suddenly and there was nothing you could have done. I don’t know about cats but before I had heard that some dogs would go off alone to die to spare their human friends from the pain. A little over two weeks ago my dog Fiona wasn’t feeling well. She wasn’t in pain just a bit agitated. I had the flu and felt so sick. I was planning to take her to the vet the next day. I lay her on the bed and she would leave and go to the floor. Finally I was so tired I brought her bed next to mine and put her there. She went under the bed right under where I slept and she passed there. I think her heart just stopped. I think she waited until I was asleep to go to heaven. I found her an hour after I woke up to take her outside. I think your cat might have tried to do the same and spare you from the pain but sadly she was in pain and meow from the pain. You were there for her until the very end. She knew and felt your love around her. I am so sorry that her end was painful. But again you did everything you could possibly do.
Registered: 1556003058 Posts: 13
My heart goes out to you. You obviously love her very much, and always will. I don't know much about FIP. It sounds like she was trying to spare you pain. She knew you loved her. I wish I could say the pain goes away, but it's been a month since I had my Barney but to sleep and I still cry. It's ok to cry, it is an expression of our grief. I'm sorry you had such a short time with her. Sadly some of our fur angels don't stay with us nearly as long as we wish they could. We love them so much, even forever wouldn't be long enough. Hugs to you.