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goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #1 
Hi Blackie,
It has been a long time since I last wrote to you here on this message board, but I wanted to take a moment today to say Happy Gotcha Day! It is hard to believe it has been 13 years since you and I first met and I brought you home with me, isn't it? So much has happened since that wonderful day, but I still remember it each year and do my best to recognize it in some small way.

Today after I finished teaching I went to the store and purchased 6 balloons. Two were jet black, just like you were, and the other 4 were various shades of royal blue, the color of your collar. This evening I took a moment and released the balloons into the sky, one by one, and watched them fly on up into the clouds. I imagined they sailed on up to heaven where you found them and spent some time playing with them.

Blackie, you were such a special boy. I still cannot imagine why you were abandoned to live a lonely life on the streets as a stray cat. Thankfully you were smart enough to try to get people to notice you and thankfully somebody did notice you and brought you to the shelter where we found each other. 

You were so incredibly happy to have a home - I remember as I was driving you home, I could hear you purr over the noise of my car's engine. Once we were home and I let you out of your carrier you were so thrilled to no longer be on the streets that you were literally drooling with happiness, LOL! 

Blackie, we only had a little over 2 1/2 years together, but they were very special years and when you passed away you left such a deep hole in my heart that it took me over a year before I could finally think and talk about you without crying. To this day I still tear up when I think of you, that's how deep my love for you is and always will be. 

I really miss you and your quiet, dignified presence. I miss hanging out with you on my sofa as I watch TV. I miss falling asleep with you curled up against my back and I miss waking up with you by my side, gently washing my face to help me wake up and start the day. I miss caring for you, I miss coming home to see you waiting for me at the door, and I miss your purr and your unique, raspy meow.

I hope you are happy and healthy up in heaven. It has been way too long since you visited me in my dreams, at least that I remember. Do you think you can find a way to let me know you are still here beside me? I have a pair of Cardinals that live in one of the trees near my house. They visit the bird feeders I have hanging next to the sliding glass door that goes out to my deck; could one of the Cardinals be you visiting me? If so, thank you for finding your way to my new place and being nearby - I hope you know I love watching the Cardinals, as do Rufus, Bud and Red. You knew Rufus but you never met Bud or Red, nor did you meet Squeeker. I know you did not like sharing Rufus with me, but I also hope you know that just because i had two cats in my life, it didn't mean I loved you any less. :-)

Anyhow, Happy 13th Gotcha Day anniversary, Blackie! All my love to you forever and beyond, my precious one...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #2 
♥️
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #3 
What a wonderful tribute. I loved the idea of the balloons. I hope you don't mind if I borrow this idea. My Termy's gotcha day is coming up in September. Thank you for sharing Blackie with us.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
VT

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #4 
What a special little darling Blackie must have been. A very beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing, thats made me tear up in a nice release kind of way. Does that make sense? All the best. ❤️
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #5 
Hi all - sorry it has taken so long for me to respond...

Hi Termy's mom! I got the idea of the balloons from somebody else here on the Pet Loss message board. I have done the balloon release in Blackie's honor a few times. I am always amazed with how long it takes the balloons to disappear from my sight when I release them. Watching the balloons fly away is a good way to just slow down and relax and reflect on the short amount of time we had together. I usually purchase a couple of black ones for Blackie's beautiful black fur and royal blue ones for his collar. I always thought the blue was a beautiful contrast against Blackie's black coat...

Hi VT! I'm glad you enjoyed reading my letter to Blackie. Yes, Blackie was very special. For the life of me I cannot understand why he ended up being a stray cat, he was such a sweet and good boy. I know he was at one point somebody's cat and he was found in an area of town where there are a lot of apartment buildings and the population is very transient. He was very friendly to people as a stray, probably trying to get somebody to feed him and care for him. I think he was basically abandoned by somebody that moved out of their apartment. He had a lot of behaviors that showed he was at one point somebody's cat, such as coming running into the kitchen for food the first time I opened a can of cat food and being very reluctant to get up on furniture such as my sofa and lounge chair. Also, when I was getting ready to move back to the east coast, the first time I brought boxes up from the basement and started packing things, Blackie got VERY nervous. So I put the boxes away and comforted him to ease his anxiety. I think he knew he was going to be OK and not abandoned again when we got to our new place after being on the road for 2 days. I put Blackie's carrier in the living room of our new place and let him check out the apartment. I then gave him a big hug and some kisses and then Blackie seemed to relax because he knew I would take him with me wherever I lived and would not abandon him the way his previous people did. :-) Unfortunately, we only had about another 1 1/2 years together before he passed away. But at least I was able to give him the love and security he deserved and at least he passed away knowing he was loved and cherished...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #6 
Hi my beautiful Blackie, today marks 11 years that your time here on earth ended and you flew up to heaven on your angel wings. 

Today is much like our last day together - sunny, moderate temperatures, quite simply a beautiful early spring day. I remember so fondly how you and I went for a walk through the townhouse complex that day. I remember how, as I held you in my arms, you turned your face to catch some of the sun's warmth and twitched your nose as you smelled the wonderful spring smells surrounding us. I remember how happy I was to share the moment with you and how thankful I was for the life we'd managed to forge together. Sadly, less than 12 hours later you were gone and my heart was completely shattered and my life was turned upside down...

Blackie, I've said it before and I will say it again - knowing and loving you was, without a doubt, one of the best things that ever happened to me. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but you will always have a very special place in my heart and I will always love and cherish you until the end of time and beyond. 

Until we meet again, be a good boy and be sure to find all of other the cats and dogs that I've known and loved that are no longer here with me and please give them some hugs and kisses from me, OK? :-)

All my love,
- Kelly
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #7 
Hi my beautiful boy,

Sorry I am late with my post, but I wanted to let you know that I thought of you a lot this past Sunday on what was your 14th Gotcha Day Anniversary. I drove through the townhouse complex we lived in together during your last 1 1/2 years here on earth. I remembered how much you loved to stroll through the complex on your leash, smelling the grass and gardens and other scents in the air. I remembered how we would walk to the fence that surrounded the pond on the complex and how you would enjoy watching the birds swim and take off and land on the water. I remember how much you enjoyed just being outside and how well you walked on a leash. Your beautiful black fur would just glisten in the sunshine, and I loved watching how you would turn your face up at the sun to drink in the sun's warmth.

Blackie, I can barely believe it has been 14 years since I first brought you home with me. I always say this, but it is true - so much has changed since you passed away. All but 1 of my current kitty crew are seniors. Rufus is still with us - I think he is now 13 years old and going strong! You never met the others, but Red is now at least 11 and Thomas is 22! Bud, whom I got as a kitten, is now 7 years old. He is still as rambunctious as ever but is starting to show some of the same traits you had with his purring and cuddling with me in bed and his morning routine of trying to wake me up and get me out of bed, LOL! I love and cherish all of them, but none of them will ever be you, and that makes me miss you that much more as time goes by.

Anyhow, I just wanted to write a quick note letting you know I remembered our Gotcha Day anniversary and that I am thinking of you. Take care and know that I'll always love you and miss you so much with all I have, my special boy...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #8 
Hi my beautiful boy,

Today marks the 15th anniversary of when we first met and I brought you home with me. That was such a happy day for me, and for you too. It meant I had a cat back in my life after going without a feline companion for so many years. It meant you finally had a home and a person to call your own after being abandoned on the streets to fend for yourself.

Blackie, this has has been a difficult year for me. Thomas passed away on March 5. I think his heart decided it had lived a long enough life and it simply gave out on him after he got up to get a drink of water and wash his paws. His passing was quick, unexpected, and I would like to think peaceful. I know you two never met, but I loved him and I hope you were there to greet him and help him get used to his new surroundings when he flew up to heaven.

And then, a bit over 2 months later, my beloved Rufus died. We think he died of pancreatitis and probably a cancer we did not realize he had. He went off his food on Thursday and by Monday, he was gone. You know how much Rufus loved his food - he would always eat any food you left in your food bowl, and that was probably the reason he got so fat, LOL! So when he refused his food, I knew something was terribly wrong. His passing was so very sad - we'd just celebrated his 14th Gotcha Day anniversary a few weeks before he died - and the house is so very sad and quiet without him around. Blackie, I know you did not like sharing me with Rufus and I know the two of you never really became friends. But when you died, Rufus missed you so very much. He missed having his big brother around, so I would like to think he loved you despite it all. And Blackie, I would also like to think that when Rufus passed away you were there to greet him and guide him and befriend him up in heaven. I would like to think that the two of you are together in heaven, that you are now friends and that the two of you are now playing together and caring for each other the way you never really did during your time here on earth.

Blackie, you were such a special boy to me. You reminded me of the joy and wonders of loving a cat and being loved by one. You brought so much joy and love into my life. You were such a sweet cat and a faithful companion. When you passed away you left such a hole in my heart, but your legacy lives on through Rufus, Squeeker, Bud, Red, Thomas, Tobie and all of the fosters I was blessed to know and love since you passed away. 

Blackie, it has been so long since you came and visited me in your dreams. I mentioned before that there is a pair of cardinals that frequently visit the bird feeders on my deck. I hope one of them is you. If not, I hope you have found a way to stop by and check in on me every now and then. I really miss you. I miss just hanging out with you. I miss caring for you. I miss hearing your beautiful meow. I miss everything about you and I cannot believe it has been 15 years since I brought you home with me and we started getting to know each other. 

Blackie, I look forward to being reunited with you once I get to heaven. It will be such a glorious day and we will never again be separated! But until that time comes, be a good boy, please look after Rufus and Squeeker up in heaven and please look after my kitties that are still with me.

Until we meet again, all my love and more...

Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom
Angel Thomas' mom
Angel Rufus' mom

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