Registered: 1574895961 Posts: 1
I lost my dog Zacky yesterday. He was ill for a couple of days then died suddenly. He was barely 10 years old. He was a smart and loving dachshund. We loved each other so much. I can’t stop crying. He was my best friend. I don’t know how I can move on. I’m so devastated. The hole that’s left in my heart is unbearable. I don’t know how to deal with such grief. That’s why I’m here. I need to vent my feelings and voice my sadness and frustration. I hope someday we will be reunited.
Registered: 1574983405 Posts: 1
This sounds really hard. I’m sorry that Zacky died. It sounds like it happened unexpectedly. I had to put my cat to sleep two weeks ago. And even though I had a little bit of time with him after he was diagnosed with a terminal illness (he was diagnosed about a month ago, so I had about 2 weeks of care giving to start to accept the news and grieve in anticipation) it still feels very sudden to me. Now that he’s gone I get sad in waves. Sometimes I worry if I did everything okay for him and mull over what I would do differently. And sometimes I feel angry too. I’m actually surprised how angry I sometimes feel. It doesn’t take much of a trigger (a memory, a shadow, a sound, a doubt) to spin me out into a deep achey sadness at the moment. But I realize that I am still processing this huge change and someone who meant a lot to me is gone. We were very close. I think it will be a few months before I really start to feel better and the painful sting of it eases. I am thinking about your experience. I can imagine that losing Zacky in such a short time with no notice or opportunity to prepare yourself for his passing is a really big shock. I had a little bit of warning and started grieving before my pet died and was able to spread my grief out over a little bit of time so the sharpness was softened a little. I was also able to somewhat control and plan for how he died (put to sleep by housecall vet). And even though I had to make that decision a lot sooner than I had hoped for, I still had some say in how he went. It sounds like your experience was much more acute and sudden. I can’t imagine how painful it must feel to be hit with this amount of grief all at once with no time to prepare for it. I imagine it also might feel frustrating to not have had any control over the circumstances of his passing. You were kind of cheated out of that part as a pet parent IMO and it really seems not fair. I get the sense that you would’ve planned something special and unique for him had you known and if there had been time. I’m sure he knew that you loved him. More for you getting a chance to say goodbye how you might’ve wanted to instead of the rug being pulled out from under you. I think your grief is normal and healthy and what you’re going through and trying to make sense of is hard. You suddenly lost your good friend and it’s sad. It’s going to hurt for a while because you loved him a lot. My family has had 4 mini dachshunds over the years and your post stood out to me. They are wonderful dogs! Please make sure to take care of yourself. And cry all you want. I think it helps. And maybe try to do some nice things to recharge your batteries when you are ready. Because grieving is hard work and takes a lot of energy. I’m sorry you lost your friend. Hang in there. It will get better but it will probably take some time.