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Mommyva

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Posts: 39
 #1 
Hi all,

I am shaking right now because I just got off of the phone with the vet, and we both agreed that it's time.   I have to decide whether to do it today or wait until tomorrow, and I can't think straight.  I feel so desperate that I just want to do it and get it over with today, but my husband can't go with me because of work.  He can go tomorrow, but I don't think I can watch my baby suffer for another day.  My husband told me he supports me in whatever decision I make.  Do you think it's selfish of me if I have it done today?  I just don't know what to do and feel so alone.
 
I know many of you have been through this, so I would appreciate any advice you have.  The vet told me that I could either bring him there, or they would come to my house.  She said it's usually less stressful on the animal if it is done at the house, but she said that some people don't want it done at their house, so it's up to me.  What do I do?  What did you do?  This is incredibly painful.

Thank you.

Mommyva
Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #2 
Dear Mommyva:
My heart aches for you.  I am so sorry.  I know you will make the right decision for your beloved pet.  I understand your pain and the difficult time you are having now.  Please know that you are feeling this pain because of the deep love and bond you have with your pet.  I only wish I could ease your pain but I know I can't. 

We are all here for you.  Please write back and talk to us.
I will pray for and your sweet pet today.

Many hugs,
Mary
Meisters Mom
ShadowGirl

Registered:
Posts: 21
 #3 
My heart goes out to you Mommyva at this VERY difficult time. We had the vet come to our house and my husband and I were both with her when she was put to sleep. It was awful, but I do think it was less stressful for her at the house. Shadow hated going to the vet. But another friend of mine took hers to the vet since he loved going there. It is a deeply personal decision. i don't know if I could have done it without my husband present, but it depends on the level of suffering your pet is going through. Whatever decision you make, know that it will be the right one and made out of love and devotion. I will ask my sweet Shadow girl to welcome your baby to the Rainbow Bridge. I hope peace will find you soon, Shadow has been gone almost 5 months, and despite having a new dog, I still miss my Shadow every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

ShadowGirl
sweetpepe

Registered:
Posts: 143
 #4 
(((((((((Mommyva)))))))))))))


If the suffering is too great, I would say today would be best.  But if you can wait til tomorrow when your husband can go with you, it may help you to not be alone.  

This is such a painful decision.  We had our little cockerpoo, Pepe, put to sleep nearly two months ago and the pain is still there.  In our case we took him to the vet but it's a very personal choice as to whether to have the vet come to your home or take your pet there.  

My prayers are with you today. 
MrMeowgy

Registered:
Posts: 763
 #5 
Dear Mommyva, I am so sorry for what you are going through. You must do what is in your heart and what darling Sam is telling you. He knows how much you love him and that you will make the right decision. I was fortunate in one way, my beloved Mr. Meowgy went on his own terms, at his own time. I had taken him to the vet thinking it was an insulin issue and that they would make him better. My boy passed from a heart attack, or several, before we were able to get back. When we walked in and they told us he had passed, I was in complete shock.
I will light a candle for you and your baby Sam. Please know you are in my prayers. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
mw0263

Registered:
Posts: 139
 #6 
Dear Mommyva,

I am so terribly sorry that you must make this decision.  I know how incredibly hard this is for you but you must know that it is the right thing to do.  If you didn't know in your heart that it is best I know you would not be even thinking about it.  Believe it or not, I believe that your Sam knows too.  Deciding where and when to do it is such a personal decision that only you will know.  Do what feels right for you and Sam.  It is so painful no matter which way you decide so be as kind to Sam as possible.  Sam is trusting you to do the best thing you can for him.  He has trusted you his whole life and now is trusting you to set him free from his pain.  You will take on much more pain but remember in your heart that he will be free from his and this is the last gift you can give him.  No matter where you decide you will deal with the after mass.  If at the vet, the car ride home is one of the worst feelings in the world but at home (I can only imagine) knowing the exact place is probably torture.  If you must go to the vet today and your husband can't go with you please find someone who can drive to go with you because you will probably feel numb and if you do, you don't want to have to drive home.

Whatever you decide, Sam knows that you love him and he also knows that he had a great life and was loved in his home and that is the most important thing we can do for our beloved pets.  This is a wonderful place to come with your grief, the people here are so comforting and the support you get here from people who have lived through it is wonderful.  It somehow makes the pain a little easier.  I would come on this message board about 7 or 8 times a day at first.  Writing some and also reading alot, either way you just don't feel as alone.  I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I too have asked my girl Comet to look for Sam so he won't be scared.  My girl is a golden retriever and she just loved other animals so I know that she will be there with (something in her mouth) a gift for him and bring Sam to the place where he will wait for his reunion with his family one day.  Until then he will be pain free and just like a pup again.

When you feel scared, sobbing, broken hearted, shaking or anything please come here because the people here will help comfort you.  Again, I am sorry that you must endure this horrible pain.

Margaret
MYFAV5

Registered:
Posts: 730
 #7 
I just had to do this last night. The vet told me any treatments she got would be short lived and I decided she wouldn't without the quality of life she's had for so long, but had slowly been taken from her over these past few months. I loved on her as the vet injected her and yes, the guilt is over whelming, but I look @ the pics from her last night and I know I made the right decision.

Listen to your heart. Listen to your baby's silent words. Listen to what she tells you. Since your husband can't be with you today, what about a close friend? My best friend met me last night @ the vet and it was much easier on me emotionally than when I lost Riefer nearly two years ago.

I know you're going through such a hard time & we're all here for you.

Hugs;
Lisa
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #8 
I had to have my husband with me when my sweet Betsy was put to sleep because I knew I could not be there alone.  But, everyone is different.  This has to be your decision.  We took Betsy in to the vet's office as I have other dogs and did NOT want them around to witness or sense her death.  Many of my friends have had their vets come to their houses.  Again, whatever you feel most comfortable with.

I would suggest that you and your husband decide if the two of you want to be there, and, if not, then maybe you can schedule it for today.   It is obvious your beloved Sam is in pain, and that you do not want him to suffer any longer.  This is the most difficult thing in the world to do, but the most selfless act of love.   You must focus on Sam right now and what is best for him.  I had to literally go on autopilot and put my feelings aside when I had Betsy put to sleep.   It is okay to do that and may help you get through the process.

I am so very sorry.

Melissa
Nancee

Registered:
Posts: 1,328
 #9 
With my Puffy, I made the appt. a week before so I could get myself ready psychologically/emotionally. I also spent the last few days doing special things with her--giving her steak, shrimp. Things like that. I told her I loved her every day (and more, too).
 I don't know--just check in with yourself if you feel this is the right time/day. I'm more of a slow-poke with things, cuz I over-analyze every move I make, so for me--I needed time between decision and going to the vet. You might be different and have your own thing to do that makes you feel more at peace. I prayed alot before I went so that my energy wasn't panicky or fearful, so it would go peaceful. Take care, I know this is very hard.
Mommyva

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #10 
Hi everyone,

I talked to the vet a little while ago, and she is coming to the house tomorrow morning.  My husband didn't want us to do it alone.
I have been laying with him most of the day and giving him tons of love.  He is so uncomfortable and sad.  I think he knows.  It's making me crazy to think that he is scared. 

Thank you all for your thoughts and wisdom.  It really is comforting.  I will be on here tomorrow I'm sure. 

Have a peaceful day.

Mommyva
Lucifer

Registered:
Posts: 24
 #11 
Hearing your story reminds me of when we were struggling to figure out when it was time to let our little Lucy go last year. For me, once we knew that there was no choice left but to let her go, I just wanted move forward with it, to end her suffering and our own as we watched her, and the evening and night between our decision and our trip to the vet the next morning was endless and terrible, but as it turned out was exactly the right amount of time for us to say goodbye without prolonging her suffering. In our case though, our vet had assured us that she was not yet suffering too much pain, and that made it easier for us. We just didn't want her to ever have to be in serious pain.

At the time, I kept asking everyone how I would know what the right thing to do when was, and no one could tell me. I can't tell you, other than to say that you know your baby best and you will know what is right to do when. You are in my thoughts today and forward.    
DrewTenderHeartWolf

Registered:
Posts: 1,493
 #12 

Mommyva, I am so sorry for your impending loss.  The decision to have a furbaby pts is the hardest one we have to make as furparents.  It is a decision we make however, because of the deep love we have for them.  We love them enough to let them go peacefully and before their suffering becomes more than they can bear.  Whatever you do, it is the right thing to do.

 

I have had to have three furbabies pts over the years I have been a furmom, all under different circumstances.  The first time was the worst, not that it gets better or easier, but I regret that I was not with my furbaby when he was pts and furthermore, that I didn't bring him home.  The second was my baby Drew.  She had spent a week at the hospital and when we knew there was nothing more that could be done for her, I had to let her go.  I had been through so much with her that week she was there, that I could not be with her when she was pts.  I had no one to go with me and knew that I coudn't do it alone.  I did  however, bring her home and she is layed to rest in the woods behind our house, her favorite place to be.  When my dog Kahn got sick, I knew right away what had to be done.  I was there with him as he made his journey to the Bridge.  It was immensely peaceful.  My best friend was with me.

 

In your heart, you will know what is best for you and it will be the right thing no matter what.  In the days and weeks ahead, please know that your pet loss family is here for you to talk with you and comfort you and cry with you.  Take care.

 

Your friend,

 

DrewTenderHeartWolf

 

http://www.catster.com/cats/311365

Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #13 
Dear Mommyva,

I am very sorry that your Beloved boy Sam is so ill and that you must let him go.  It is the most loving and compassionate thing you can do for him.  The anguish in your posts is very clear, and I so empathize as I went through it before my boy Grunt was put to sleep in February.  I couldn't bear to see  him in so much pain and so sad any longer - and I think he knew which was even more torture for me.  Please know you and Sam are in my thoughts and prayers.  It is good you have some time to be together.  Saying farewell to your best friend isn't easy, but you can hold him, and let him know how much you love him, and memorize the feel and smell of him.

Hugs,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever   
MrBillsNPuckysMommy

Registered:
Posts: 51
 #14 
If it is any comfort, I don't think our babies are scared when it is their time to leave this world. 
My thoughts are with you and your precious baby.

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #15 
I am so relieved your husband will be there with you and Sam tomorrow.

I have lit an internet candle for Sam and your family.  To view it, go to the first page of AurichWolf's "Light a Candle Here" thread on this grief board and click on the little Light a candle icon in her post.  It will bring up a page of candles.   Look for one with Sam's name.  It will burn for 48 hours.

Sam, you and your family are in my prayers.

Melissa
Mommyva

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #16 
Hello everyone,

A few hours ago, my baby Sam passed away on his own. 

I was actually on here when it happened.  When I was done, I went to check on him, and found my beautiful daughter sitting next to him giving him love and hugs (as she did so often). 
She was rubbing his back, and watching t.v. at the same time, and didn't even know he had died.  I looked at him and knew right away.  Out of shock, I said "I think he died."  She moved away from him and started to cry, saying "No mommy, please tell me he's not dead."
My daughter, son, and I sat with Sam for about 15 minutes, said our goodbyes, and cried like we never cried before.

It was so strange, because right after I saw that he died, my husband called and said he was coming home early because he wanted to be with Sam.  I told him what happened, and he broke down.

This morning I laid with Sam for about 1/2 hour and talked to him.  I really felt he was listening.  I told him it was o.k. for him to let go, that he didn't have to keep going for the kids and Mommy and Daddy.  I told him we all loved him and we were so proud to have had him in our lives.  He was the best, and I think I am in shock, but at the same time have a weird sort of relief that he passed peacefully on his own.

Thank you to everyone for helping me through this, for sending good wishes, and for lighting a candle in his honor.   I have a real candle burning for him, and will probably light it everyday for quite some time.

I will be on here often to try and help others if I can.  This has been the most painful experience I have ever gone through.   I wish no one ever had to feel this anguish.

Mommyva
goldenboysmom

Registered:
Posts: 1,001
 #17 
Oh how my heart aches for you and I know you are going through so much anguish but your very wise and precious Sam chose his own time . Hearing your beautiful words to him and feeling all your love that you hold in your heart for him certainly eased his way to the Bridge. He knew how difficult this decision would be for you and he chose to leave on his own terms very gently because of your love.
You are going through many tears and you still want to help others here and I think that is so beautiful. You will find so much love here and understanding and your Sam's beautiful spirit will be right with you as you walk through this sadness and he will bring you strength & to a place of peace~.
Hugs to you,
Max's mom Jo
http://wolfpack10.com/max.htmlMy precious Golden boy Max~

shadowsmama

Registered:
Posts: 67
 #18 
I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm glad that if he had to go he was able to go in a loving and peaceful moment without fear and sadness and pain around him. I can't imagine a better way for a loved pet to quietly slip away. I wish it had been that way for my sweet Shadow who went young(6), unexpectedly and alone in the night.
I wish much love and peace to you and your family and for Sam who is no longer in any pain. As a mother, I wish I could give you and your kids a hugs as I know how hard this is.

Luv,
Elizabeth
Shadow's mama
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


LaylasMom

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #19 
I am so sorry for your loss.  I don't think Sam wanted you to have to make the choice.  He was surrounded by his family and he knew that you loved him.  My heart goes out to you and your family.

Layla's Mom
Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #20 
Dear Mommyva,

Bless your Sam's sweet heart - he went on his own in the loving comfort of his home with your daughter by his side.  My heart goes out to you and your family in deepest sympathy for the loss of your precious Sam. He is now at peace, and no longer suffering.

I'll say a prayer for your dear boy, Sam.

Hugs,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever

 


Kumalove

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #21 
Mommyva,

My heart goes out to you.  My black lab Kuma passed away on Friday.  She'll be there to meet Sammy as will all our wonderful dogs who have gone before us.

I know the pain is almost unbearable, but Sammy is now at peace as is my Kuma.  The days ahead will be rough, but before long we'll both be smiling as we remember their antics and all the joy they brought us.  Let the tears fall, but please take care of yourself as you go through the grief.  Sammy wouldn't want to see you in pain.


sweetpepe

Registered:
Posts: 143
 #22 
((((((((((((((((Mommyva and her family)))))))))))))

Dear Sam chose his time.  He knew he was surrounded by love and he passed very peacefully.  My thoughts are with you and your family.    
MrMeowgy

Registered:
Posts: 763
 #23 
Dear Mommyva, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Your darling Sam did not want you to have to make the horrible decision. He wanted to go on his own terms, at his own time. My beloved Mr. Meowgy did the same thing, he spared us the pain and I am so grateful to him for that. The vet said he didn't want us to see him leave.
I think it is wonderful that Sam was with your loving daughter, that she was petting him at the time. Sam knows how deeply he is loved and he chose a most beautiful moment to leave for the Bridge. He will be eternally happy and will be your angel watching over you forever. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I lit a candle for your Sam earlier, but the words are still fitting.
Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
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