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Posts: 1

I have a quick question for you, and I need to ask your opinion on something. I love my kitten Ivy and I’m glad that I got her, but even for a kitten she is kind of crazy. She scratches or bites everything, included my boyfriend’s couch and chair that belong to the place that he is subleasing, and for which he would have to pay a hefty fine if they got messed up. She also often attacks my hands and feet, which are now covered in scratches.

When she’s calm or just playful (which is rare), then she is great and definitely adds to my mood and helps me to stay motivated. However, when she is in her crazy mood (which is 90% of the time), then I can’t control her. I have tried everything I’ve found on the internet and advice from friends, but nothing seems to work. I can’t continue to have her messing up furniture and other things in the apartment, but I feel awful keeping her locked in a room by herself all the time.

The lady that I got Ivy from would be willing to take her back and wouldn’t be mad or anything, but she also has a bunch of other animals and wouldn’t get as much attention as I could give her. She would also probably be a partially outdoor cat, and that worries me because Ivy isn’t the smartest kitty on the block and would probably get into trouble.

I also feel that if I give her back that I would be failing myself along with Ivy. My parents and most of my friends told me that I shouldn’t and couldn’t do it, but I did it anyway and I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to show that I was well enough and responsible enough to be able to care for her.

Maybe I just chose a bad time in my undergrad career to get a pet, and maybe Ivy and I are just not a right fit for each other right now. But there is another part of me that wants to keep fighting for her and for us and that if I just give her more time and keep trying that she will learn and that we can both be happy. What if after one more week she learns or clams down some, but instead I had just given her away and written her off?

I don’t want to give up on her and I want to keep trying, but I don’t know if that would just be a mute point. Should I keep trying? Or do I just need to let her go?

Thanks for your advice (and sorry for the long message).

Update: I am extremely upset, but I have decided to find Ivy a home that is better fit for her. However, I still feel very guilty about it. Am I making the right decision?


Posts: 837
No one is here to judge you. You made the decision that you thought was best. Kittens are used to playing rough with their siblings and are easily bored by being alone. That is when the mischief starts. I recently adopted a rescued cat who had been a stray, half starved and we know he had been abused. I wanted a kitten until I heard what had happened to him and several of their other rescues. Two of them had been shot and had to have a leg amputated. Merlin has adapted well to our home and his new family of two dogs and two cats. He plays a little rough with me but I believe it is because he doesn't really know how to play. My daughter said we can return him if things don't work out and my granddaughters vetoed that idea as did I. The time will come when you will have other pets I am sure.
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