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stevedaytona

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Posts: 6
 #1 
I lost my cat, Jaguar, last Wednesday and I am having so much trouble dealing with the loss.

He started vomiting last Saturday and he was so lethargic.  He wasn't eating or drinking so we took him to the Vets on Tuesday.  The vet said he was dehydrated not surprisingly and so kept him overnight.

To be honest, I was expecting the vet to call on Wednesday and say that Jaguar was rehydrated and he had an infection or something.  Instead he said that Jaggy was doing too good and was still vomiting and they had done x-rays and ultrasound and they thought he had triaditis or pancreatic cancer.  At this stage he also had fluid in his lungs and was having trouble breathing.

The end result was that we had to let him go.  He was only 7 years old.

I think about him constantly and I am frequently on the verge of tears.  I feel so guilty that I wasn't with him when he died.


Steve
Gypsymagic

Registered:
Posts: 219
 #2 
Steve, I am so sorry that you lost your Jaguar. A very similar thing happened to my niece about six weeks ago. Her cat lost weight, and a couple of trips to the vet found nothing. Another trip to a different vet found advanced pneumonia, and he died before she could get there. They wouldn't let her off of work--find a replacement--since it was not a human child so that she could go and be with him when the vet said he was dying.

She felt like a "bad mommy" because she didn't realize that he had pneumonia, but she's not, and she felt guilty because she wasn't there when he left. She did go see him before they took him to be cremated but she never had a chance to say goodbye, and I think that's what you're missing, too, along with the sadness of losing Jaguar.

Sometimes we don't get that chance--with people or with the animals that we love--so I make a practice of saying "I love you" before I leave. You never know when it might be the last time you see someone. But Jaguar knew what you loved him and would have been there if you could. I was also told by a vet that cats seem to have this ability to shut out pain so it's hard to tell just how sick they really are until it's very late. Don't blame yourself. You can say goodbye tonight by lighting a candle.
Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #3 
Dear Steve:
I am truly sorry for your loss of Jaguar.  Please do not feel guilty about anything.  You are here at this site because of your deep love for Jaguar. 

Try to join us in the Monday night Candle Lighting in tribute to Jaguar.  It is also great to just take time and talk to him and thank him for his love and tell him how much you love and miss him. 

Many hugs to you.

Mary,
Meisters Mom
Nancee

Registered:
Posts: 1,328
 #4 

Steve--Sorry for your loss of Jaguar. Seven years old is still young for a cat to be so ill, so it must be especially hard for you. You gave him love and a good home--maybe you'll get a sign from him letting you know he's okay. Take care.

sleepingbe

Registered:
Posts: 35
 #5 
Steve
my heart goes out to you during this very difficult time. I totally understand what you're going through. I just lost my dog to pancreatic cancer 4 months ago. It all happened very fast . He stopped eating and his liver enzymes skyrocketed. They treated him for what they thought was pancreatitis, but his levels fell very little and he got sicker, developed DIC and died at the vets office. I wasn't there. I feel awful about that, but at the same time I don't think I could have handled it. My dog, Kaldi, was only 5 yrs old. We did the autopsy and found out he had pancreatic cancer that had spread into his liver and spleen. I never imagined a young animal could get such an awful disease.
It's been almost a week for you, that's about the same time I started posting. Everyone on these boards was and still is a great help to me. I would have never made it through without them. Do not feel bad that you were not there. There's no way you could have known. It happened so quick. Jaguar loves you and is grateful to you for the 7 wonderful years of life you gave him. He is at peace now and is no longer suffering. I know it's very fresh in your mind right now, but in time you will remember him for all the wonderful times you had together. Jaguar does not want you to be sad. He wants you to remember him for all the love and joy he brought to you. I did alot of things to help me through this horrific experience. You might want to try some of them. Write him a poem or a letter. Make a memorial page for him or a garden. It will help you to heal and he would appreciate it alot. He can hear you. Talk to him and tell him how much you love him and miss him. All these things will help to begin the healing process.We have all been in your shoes or currently are and can truly understand what you're going through.
When you're feeling a little better, tell us about Jaguar and what made him so special to you. If you have pictures, share them. We are here anytime you need us.
God bless you during this very difficult time.


Michelle

stevedaytona

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Thank you all for your responses.

It's amazing how the most mundane things remind me of Jaguar.  This morning I was making a sandwich for lunch and Jaguar was ALWAYS there meowing at me for a piece of Turkey.  But of course he was not there this morning.

And still, when I went into the bathroom this morning I am still half-expecting to see him curled up in the sink (his favorite place).

I'll try to get a photo uploaded when I get home tonight.


Steve
polkadots

Registered:
Posts: 117
 #7 
I'm so sorry to hear about Jaguar, Steve.
My heart goes out to you.
I know your pain of losing a 7 year old-
and also not being able to say goodbye.
I think the younger they are hurts the most.
We saw ourselves with so many more years with them- watching the grow up.
You did the best you could and gave Jaguar a wonderful life with lots of love.
Hang on to and remember those good times-
as they are your strength for pulling thru.
i know it's hard- I think my heart will be broken until the day my daughter Daisy and I will be reunited again at Rainbow Bridge.

Much love and light
Pat (Daisy's forever daddy)
stevedaytona

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #8 
I was doing better until I realized just now that it was 1 week ago today (almost to the minute) that we lost Jaguar.

I'm so sad I have lost him and as I look at photo's of him, I still find it hard to accept I won't see him here again.

7 years wasn't nearly long enough to be with Jaguar, and I wish so much I had been with him at the end.
kittiekat

Registered:
Posts: 215
 #9 
Hi Steve,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jaguar.  It will be two weeks tomorrow for my Smokey.  I know that you are suffering with guilt and saddness, but remember the love that you had for Jaguar and he for you.  Right now everything is so fresh.  It will take time for the pain to ease.  Know that we are all thinking and praying for you and Jaggy.

Kittiekat
stevedaytona

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #10 
Thanks kittiecat.  I do feel like I am doing better today.  I am remembering Jaguar doing his crazy things instead of dwelling too much on the day he passed (which I certainly had been).

For those that are interested here is a picture of Jaguar in his favorite place.




kburchfield

Registered:
Posts: 36
 #11 

Steve I'm so sorry for you loss.Jarguar looks a little like my Fluffy.I lost my kitten George that I raised from a bottle in June2008.He was only 8months.I felt guilty because I couldn't be with him.Everyone here has been great and I also found a website to remember our babies that has really helped me its called critters.com check this out it may help you to.You'll be in my prayers.Kathy here's a picture of my George.

JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #12 
Steve;
So sorry for your loss. I came upon this site a week after I helped Peaches, our Chihuahua on her journey. This site and all the caring people here have helped me during this difficult time and as you have seen they will be here for you. God Bless,-----Jerry in Oklahoma.
 
I'll Be Seeing You...

I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces all day through...

I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you

 

basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #13 
Steve

That is a beautiful photo, of a very lovely boy.  I love the way he just fits the bowl.

I am so sorry that you are finding it so hard, it will get better my friend.


Di xxx
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