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Irenea

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Posts: 7
 #1 

Hello.. I put my dog shadow to rest yesterday she was 14 yrs old.. It was the hardest choice I've ever had to make..she was in alot of pain & I knew it was the right thing to do but now I'm second guessing myself...the vet that I brought her to (her vet for the past 14yrs) was horrible!! He had no compassion & I felt rushed & it seemed as if I was bothering him because I had some questions..now my heart is broken & I'm so angry :( My daughter who's 2 keeps asking for Shadow & wants to give her a bone it breaks my heart I try explaining to her (as best you can to a 2 yr old ) that shadows in heaven & we blow kisses to the sky but then I break down & cry..I know in time it will get easier but I miss my best friend and as I sit here & cry I'm waiting for her to still walk in the room give me a kiss & lay next to me as I type...

wiskersonkittens

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Posts: 50
 #2 

Irenea -- I had to put my cat to sleep last Thursday.  She was only 10.  And, I was in anguish for a couple of days feeling like I did the wrong thing -- I acted too soon, what if . .. .. , I should have tried that one more thing ....  I think what we need to do is realize that we did do what was best for our pets.  We know our pets better than anyone and I think we realize when it is time to let them go.  I remember incidences last week where I felt the need to brush her fur, so I could have some to treasure.  Or, I remember going through the grocery store picking out soft food in hopes she would eat, and as I grabbed the turkey, grilled chicken, salmon delight, something inside me told me she wouldn't be eating it.  I heard those voices and I didn't want to listen.  Then, after some tests were run it was found my baby had cancer in her abdomen and thus she was terminal.  That snapped into reality and I just knew I had to do what was best for her.  I already cried from Monday-Thursday slowly letting go.  It was the hardest decision I had to make, and I am slowly realizing through this support group, and even via my veterinarian (I spoke with her about it) that it was, as my vet put it, a very "brave and kind" thing to do.  I am sorry your vet wasn't as compassionate as he should have been during that difficult time.  It does make it harder and it bother me he would treat someone in such a sensitive state and trying to make the hardest decision of their lives like that.  Had he always been like that?  You know -- a true friend and now vet shows their true colors during our most difficult times.  If they can't be compassionate and supportive, you don't need them.  You have a right to be hurt and angry.  But, please know, outside of that, you did what you thought was best for Shadow.  And, I really believe before long you will get that confirmation you need that your decison was right, and Shadow is ok.  She is still with you ... 

Mare

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Posts: 11,059
 #3 
Irene ~ I am very sorry your precious girl has passed on.  It is never an easy decision to make but it is so hard watching our sweet babies suffer. You wish you could take the pain for them because they do not understand what is happening to them.  Our little ones look at us to help them when they are in pain, and you helped Shadow move on to her new home. She is a happy and carefree pup at the bridge and she will wait for you to join her when the Lord calls you home. 

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years now ~

Darian

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Posts: 282
 #4 
I am so sorry to hear about Shadow :(    It's heart-breaking to lose your loving best friend.  And I'm sad to hear that the vet was mean.  They get away with that because at the time we're so distraught that we feel like we don't have any control.  But now that you have time to think about it you have every right to be angry at him for not showing you the compassion you deserved.  If Shadow was 14 yrs old and in pain you absolutely did the right thing.  She would not want to be suffering while putting on a brave face for you.  Your 2 yr old is probably so resilient that she will move on soon.  But it's you who we have to worry about.  And we are all here,  worrying about each other, leaning on each other and reminding each other that we loved those fur-babies and would never have done anything to hurt them.  Every action was out of love.  Know that Shadow is at peace now,  and her spirit lives on.  You will see her again one day in heaven and will have a blessed reunion.

Tell us more about Shadow when you feel up to it.   What kind of dog was she?

Hugs,   Darian
Irenea

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #5 

Thank you for your kind words they are comforting...to answer your questions my vet (to me) always seemed a little off but my parents brought our family dog to him so when I got shadow I did the same. However my parents stopped using him some time ago & I just continued to go to him he had his moments when he was friendly but honestly as long as shadow got her shots & yearly check ups (she was healthy) I really didnt see the point in changing vets...

lennysmom

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Posts: 308
 #6 

I am so sorry about your darling Shadow, I too had to make that choice and its such a terrible one, I am sorry the experience was worse then it had to be to be rushed and no compassion after 14 years is horrible I am sorry for the terrible experience made worse. May you find some help coming here, this site is so helpful and hopeful and filled with people who understand. Hang in there... we will someday be reunited with our babies... and i try to think that i am 224 days closer to seeing my big guy Lenny again rather then how long its been since i have seen him. ((Hugs)) Katie

MousersDaddy

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #7 
Irenea, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and experience with your vet. Just breaks my heart.
{{{hugs}} goin out to ya.
calbaceli

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #8 
I am very sorry for the loss of your dear Shadow. I had to put my sweet dog, Louie to sleep on 10/21. I still cry everyday, and my heart aches for him. I am so sorry that you had such a bad experience. It is a hard enough decision to make, but to be rushed and have a vet with no compassion makes it even harder. Rest assured that you made the right decision. You do not want your Shadow in pain. She knows how much you love her, and that you let her go in peace and dignity. This si a great site filled with people that understand what we are going through. Together we can get through this difficult time.
Irenea

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #9 
Thank you all so much! I woke up this morning and I thought I heard shadow then reality set in & the tears are flowing again..

Darian~ Shadow was a Pit bull/Dalmation mix with a heart of gold..I will try to post some pics..

Again Thank you all so much your kind words are very comforting.
wiskersonkittens

Registered:
Posts: 50
 #10 

Irenea -- don't discount what you heard.  I don't want to push my beliefs onto you or make you uncomfortable, but I really believe our babies come to us and let us know they are ok. I think I have experienced that with Muffin lately, and because I believe that, the little signs I have gotten make me feel so much better because I know she is still with me and looking out for me.  They don't want us to hurt, so they try and ease it I think by giving us little signs they are here.   Scientists say that when we grieve, part of that is having hallucinations of our loved ones, or dreams about them.  They seem to push it aside like some sort of neurosis that comes with the deep pain we experience. But, I think there is so much out there than can be explained and nothing can be discounted.  I have had my own experiences with deceased loved ones that only seem to validate to me these aren't just "hallucinations" or just dreams about them.  One of my favorite words is "Believe."  If we have nothing to believe in, we have nothing to hope for -- and we will miss these wonderful signs.  I hope I have given you some comfort.  I still talk to Muffin, I still call her to come to bed with me.  Even though I can't see her, she is still a part of my family.  I really believe Shadow is there.  But, again, I don't want to make you feel worse by voicing these possibilities.  I just want to help you through this and give you some reassurance.  Hugs, Jen ~

LoriDR

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Posts: 2,123
 #11 
Ireana,

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious Shadow. Your loss is so fresh and raw and the heartache is agonizing in those early days. You've come to the right place to help you through.

Hugs of comfort,
Lori

Irenea

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #12 
Thank you all so much for your support & understanding during this difficult time...I look forward to coming on here & finding some comfort..
Jen~ I believe it is shadow telling me she is ok :) xxxx
MommaBiscuit

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #13 
Irenea, I'm so sorry that you had to put your baby down and that you had such a horrible experience with your vet. I had a horrible experience with a vet the day my rabbit died too. I was looking so desperately to help and this man was so cold, cruel, and ignorant that I nearly burst into tears at the vet office. After Biscuit died that night, I started to second guess myself about whether I should have brought him to that place. "If only I had seen a different vet...if only I had let Biscuit spend his last hours at home...". I learned in the coming weeks that I did everything I could for Biscuit at the time, and I thought that I was doing what was best for him when I took him to that horrible doctor. It's so horrible that some vets act the way they do- they more than anyone should know how much people care for their pets. It amazes me that some vets are so cruel with their patients and their parents. It is so, so hard to find a compassionate and competent vet. I have been bouncing around between vets for the past 8 years and still have yet to find one that I like.

Anyway, it sounds like you did what was right for Shadow. He was 14, and you did the right thing when he was in so much pain. Dalmation/pit mix...that sounds so adorable. I hope you can post pictures sometime when you feel up to it. He sounds like such a wonderful, adorable dog.
Lovemyshelties

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #14 
Irenea,
I am so sorry for your loss.  We had to put our 14 1/2 year old sheltie down at about 4 in the morning on Monday.  She had gone into kidney failure and also had a heart issue.  She didn't respond to the fluid treatment at the emergency vet and they called us at 3:30 in the morning to let us know she wasn't doing well.  So, off we went and made the most humane decision we could.  It hurts like hell.  Like you I keep waiting to see her lying by my feet.  Hopefully with time, this present pain will be removed and we will be able to smile with the memories of our relationships with our four legged furry friends:-) 
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