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LiLi007

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Posts: 8
 #1 
My baby passed 5/21 due to a freak accident. My son fell on him and I’m not sure what caused his death. I just remember a lot of blood. He looked so confused and was still breathing so I rushed him to the hospital. The nearest one was 15 minutes away, 3 cities away. I remember feeling his heartbeat in the car as my daughter held him but then midway we no longer felt it. I still had hope that they could bring him back so we sped on. My grief has been up and down. I was so sick the day after... no appetite, no care to do anything. Still feeling bummed. My heart is broken. He was the sweetest! When we got him I had no intentions to get attached bc I know how hard it was for my mom when she lost her dogs but he stole my heart. I bared a lot of could’ve, would’ve, should haves these last few days. My biggest guilt is him not understanding what was happening or him not knowing why he was dying and me hoping he wasn’t in pain. Me wanting him to know he did nothing wrong. How could life be so unfair. He brought so much joy to our home and didn’t deserve to go the way he did. It’s hard to believe he’s in a better place when he had a good home here with me. I watched a lot of grief videos on pet loss to help cope but most of them are for pets who lived years. Not saying the loss would’ve been easier to accept if I was granted years but maybe an option for actual closure. I miss and love him so much. I’m in the midst of dealing with my feelings and my sons. He feels so bad but doesn’t display his grief how I display mine. It seems like he’s back on with his life and I’m still getting used to a routine that doesn’t involve our pup. Tomorrow he will be cremated and I’m hoping it helps a little to bring him home. It was the soonest they had. I cannot stomach the fact that he is at the crematory place alone:(
MyLittleOneIsGone

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Posts: 92
 #2 
Lili007
I'm so, so sorry.  How tragic. I've been reading recently about so many tragic losses.  It's hard to comprehend why these things happen.  We have no way to know.  I wish I had answers for us all. I lost my little one tragically and he was young. I still cry.  I miss him so very much.  It never makes sense.  It is so very unfair.  I hope you can move on. There is no time limit to grieve.  Come back here on this forum for comfort.  We all understand. Our losses bring us together to help each other.  You loved your little boy.  He is watching over you from Rainbow Bridge. You will meet again.  Again, I'm very sorry. ~ Parker's Mom
LiLi007

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Posts: 8
 #3 
Parker’s mom... thank you for your kind words. I also found your links you listed in another post helpful. So glad you’re here. I am so sorry to hear about Parker
:( I cannot imagine. You are in my thoughts! 🤗 hugs.
LiLi007

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #4 
My sweet boy was cremated yesterday... it was so hard to bare. It killed me knowing he was alone and in a freezer. I brought him a blanket that I continuously hugged, kissed, and cried myself to sleep in since his passing, a few of his toys, a letter, a picture of us together, red and yellow roses, a stuffed pig that he always went after from my stuffed animal collection, his name tag and St. Francis charm. I forgot to bring him the pepperoni from the fridge... it was his favorite. Thats how special he was... he didn’t care for bacon but loved pepperoni. It was our dirty secret. I would come home from grave shift and feed him a few pieces. They let everything be cremated except the blanket and piggy. I love and miss him so much but bringing him home has brought some comfort.
KatKat

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Posts: 164
 #5 
I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through.  Losing a pet is so difficult and then when it occurs due to an accident the trauma itself makes it so much harder because of all the "what if's, what could have been done differently, why did it happen."  I've recently gone through a traumatic situation with my little kitten and I "what if'd, and it's my fault" myself into such a dark place that I sought out counseling because I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't stop crying, moved through the day in a fog."  I continue to move through the grief process and things are getting better. 

All of this is so new to you, it's obvious how much you loved your beautiful boy and it's obvious that he knew it and he loved you back.  I know my words may not bring much comfort right now but I wanted to reach out and let you know that I'm thinking of you and I'm so very sorry for your loss.   
LiLi007

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #6 
Thank you KatKat... your words and support are helpful. I’m glad you’re here. My condolences to you... for both of your fur babies.
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