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Kschneid3

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Posts: 14
 #1 
I said goodbye to the love of my life, Max, my yorkie on Thursday morning. Saturday we received his paw prints in the mail and I broke down. Last night, we received a lock of his hair along with a sympathy card in the mail. Again, I broke down worse than ever before.

Today, we are supposed to pick his ashes up from the vet. This entire weekend when I cried, I kept thinking once his ashes are home he will be home and maybe it will ease the pain or denial and I'll begin accepting this awful new reality.

Has anyone had experience picking up ashes? Did you at all feel better or did it make it all so much worse?

To max, I love you and I'm still so sorry for your pain.
Archiesbark

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Posts: 7
 #2 
Yes I’ve had three of mine cremated and the fourth went just yesterday after getting her little wings.
One dog and three cats. My dog, that was very hard I was in bits going to get him but I think that’s because his death absolutely crushed me.
It does give you comfort, or it did me anyway and I feel I have a small part of them back. I have others buried in the garden and I much prefer cremation just for the simple reason I feel I have part of them with me now forever. I hope that doesn’t sound morbid.
Sorry for your loss ❤️🐾🐾
Kschneid3

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Posts: 14
 #3 
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm anxiously waiting for my husband to go to the vet. I know I wouldn't be able to get the words out at reception and I think it's something we should do together.

Im so broken I hope this at least starts a healing/acceptance process. I miss him so much.

Thank you for giving me a glimmer of hope that this will be a positive experience in this horrendous journey.

Again, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.
aimee444

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Posts: 9
 #4 
I was just thinking of you this morning and wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry about Max. Hang in there. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
JKozmic

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Posts: 5
 #5 
Hi Kschneid3 - I'm so sorry about Max. I too am waiting to pick up my dog, Juniper's ashes. I believe they will be ready tomorrow and in some way, I'm looking forward to reuniting with this physical part of her. I am finding some comfort reading about connecting with the spirits of our beloved animals. I hope this doesn't come off as religious, because I'm not.

There is a book by Karen Anderson I'm reading and it's helping me in some small way -- feel like Junie is actually with me more than I realize. For me, I do find comfort will come from getting Junie's ashes, closing this 'chapter' and bringing her home one last time. But her spirit is not those ashes, they were merely the vessel. My girl's spirit is with me all the time. Max is with you whenever you think of him; and more. 
mrsyikester

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Posts: 4
 #6 
I found a bit of closure bringing her home. Still sad but now I can look at the little box and talk to her. In a way I feel like she is home and here with me. Sorry for your loss. Hope the ashes coming home have helped you in even a small way
Kschneid3

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Posts: 14
 #7 
JKozmic and mrsyikester,
I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your loved ones. In some way bringing max home did bring me a little peace. It still hurts to look at him and I cry every morning (I didnt know where to put them so hes on my nightstand for now). I opted for the urn with the photo so I see him when I look at them. The pain is still very much there but picking him up and receiving the lock of his fur did help me accept this hard new reality. I do cry a little less, but least I still have him with me.

I light a candle every morning next to his ashes, hoping it his spirit finds the light and he still has that first cup on coffee with me.
pansy

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Posts: 599
 #8 
I'm not really sure if bringing the ashes home made it worse or not.  I remember sitting in the chair with the box on my lap and crying that that was all that was left of her.  It was very traumatic for me.  This last time I did not bring the ashes home with me but put certain mementos in a cedar box with his picture.  I felt that like someone else said here that his body was just the vesicle and his spirit and memories were all I needed.  It's a personal choice that's neither right or wrong.  
JKozmic

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Posts: 5
 #9 
My husband picked up Junie's ashes yesterday. He said it was unceremonious. Standing behind people in line to check out at the vet. They handed him a box, a beautiful box. The bottom had a sticker from the crematorium with our dogs name spelled wrong. I feel... nothing from the box. I will say I am glad the box with Junie's ashes are home, where it belongs but that box is not our girl. Her spirit is free. Her body that failed her is now in spirit form and she lives in another dimension, healthy and free. The way she always was before her illness. This spring we will bring her ashes to her favorite spots and scatter them. We'll make a memorial in our yard next to her favorite spot, but those ashes are no longer her. Sending love and strength. 
Kat_HCSWG

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Posts: 17
 #10 
I’m sorry for all of your losses. I wish my wife and I had chosen to cremate our beautiful boy, Hank.
It kills me. I think we made the wrong choice. I don’t think we were in our right minds at the time. I have such guilt over not having our boy cremated or taking him with us.
aimee444

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Posts: 9
 #11 
I picked up Rosie's ashes today. I was worried I might get emotional and start crying all over again. But instead, I was just really happy to have her remains back. I brought her home and just held the little box close to my heart and told Rosie I love her. Not in the past tense but in the present tense. I'm always going to love her. So, for me it did bring me comfort. I understand her spirit is not contained in the box but I still get comfort knowing a part of her is home with me.
Kschneid3

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #12 
Aimee, I cried the entire car ride home and i still cry when i look at the ashes. I too find great comfort in having what is left of him home, even if it's not his spirit, I feel like I always have his memory right besides me. I think I'm beginning to accept this reality seeing the box every morning and it gives me something to talk to when I want to talk to his spirit. That may sound weird but it helps me.

Kat, is it too late to ask the vet for the option? It is a hard decision to make immediately after making the most difficult decision. Cherish is other possessions, you can find comfort in his things as well.
aimee444

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #13 
I don't think it's weird to talk to the box. If it brings you comfort then it's totally fine. I do it too.
I have been listening to a podcast with Brent Atwater called Alive Again on Spotify. You might want to listen to it. It may help you with the grieving process.
You're in my thoughts. And Max will always be with you in spirit. I believe that now.
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