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Nicolecocoa

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Posts: 94
 #1 
It's. Hard forcing yourself to keep going the holidays jus feel too incomplete . Post if you feel the same .

Miss my girl everyday
VickyMJ

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Posts: 71
 #2 
I know how you are feeling.

I usually love Christmas, but this year I just want it to be over with and have no excitement at all 😢
Arlene_C

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Posts: 27
 #3 
It is hard. I posted something earlier about this....this will be my first Christmas without my cats, they both died one in August , the other in September of this year, very unexpected and every time I find myself getting excited about Christmas, I get sad because they're not here. Whenever I anticipated Christmas, it always included being excited for them too because there were so many things they enjoyed during the holidays too. It's really hard without them here. I think of them all the time and I keep finding my brain trying to rationalize and "figure out" some way they can be here. I think I'm going to get some personalize ornaments made of them for the tree, other than that I know they were happiest when we were happy so I will do my best in their honour.

I'm sorry for your loss and I can relate to the incompleteness you feel. I hope it gets better/easier for you too. Just remember they loved you and loved to see you happy. hugs
VickyMJ

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Posts: 71
 #4 
Arlene - I’m very sorry for your losses. I also lost one of my cats in August. He (Fizzy) was 18, I loved / love him dearly and miss him loads but I came to terms with his loss a lot easier as I had time to prepare myself. With my recent loss of Raisin ..... well I’d never felt pain like it, he was my special buddy, so young, I love him so much and the suddenness was unbearable, still can’t accept that he’s not here.

I know what you mean about finding a way to have them here. I think it’s a lovely idea to get some personalised ornaments, I may copy you on that!

Hugs to you xx



cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #5 
I too am not looking forward to the holidays. I lost Termy Sept. 18th and it still hurts.Every year I always bought him something and filled his stocking with treats. Not this year! I know if I get the ambition to get out Christmas decorations I will find his stocking and yes I will cry. I just so loved sharing Christmas with him but the joy of it might not be here this year. I am sorry for all of us who will go through the holidays with part of our hearts empty. I do like the idea of a personalized ornament. Maybe I will look into that, maybe not. We'll see. Please know that my heart goes out to all of you who are hurting and dreading the holidays.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Firefighter

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Posts: 3
 #6 
Having just lost our dog of 6.5 years, I just don't know how I will make it through the holidays this year.
Arlene_C

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Posts: 27
 #7 
It's nice to find comfort in everyone here going through this. I never could have imagined this pain and it just hurts so bad. I'm so sorry to everyone and I hope we can find solace soon. I feel we have no choice but to get through it, so we will. But there will be/is pain and I guess we just have to do the best we can. I have two other fur babies (dogs) and  I love them dearly so I feel like I have to be fair to their existence and they deserve a happy human too. I do love them so much. I love my family!! I can't allow myself to think about it for too long because then I just start sobbing. I don't want to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays for obvious reasons, but I hope we can make it the best season we can considering. Our beloved pets would have wanted that. At least I know mine would have. Hugs to you all. xxxxx
HeartBroken12

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Posts: 158
 #8 
I'm holding myself back from crying while reading all your posts and this subject...
I was hoping someone will understand why I just don't want to celebrate Christmas. I'm sorry we all going through this, but helps to know in someway, that I'm not alone and others understand this feeling. I used to love this holiday. My baby boy loved unwrapping gifts. He used to tear off the wrapping paper with his teeth, it was so adorable cute.. He's no longer here and this year I don't want to celebrate. I'm worried how it will go with my emotions. I honestly don't even want to get a tree and decorate. And I won't. 
Thanks for reading.
Firefighter

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Posts: 3
 #9 
I feel the same, however I have go stand up straight and hold my head high. We have a 1.5 yr old son who thankfully isn't experiencing all of this pain my wife and I are going through. I have to remind myself, it's our responsibility to make these holidays amazing for our son despite the enormous amount of grief we feel. This is day 6, and having spoke to others who have lost as well has helped a lot. Hopefully we can make it through this Christmas okay. I normally am huge with Christmas lights. I don't even feel like getting them out. I guess we'll see, maybe our dog divinci enjoyed the lights and decor we put up, maybe that's reason to continue
Nicolecocoa

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Posts: 94
 #10 
Thanks god for this site knowing we aren't alone. My cocoa used to open her gifts too - made me happy to read that other people's babies did that too. At this point sometimes all you have to hold onto is the simple things.
HeartBroken12

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Posts: 158
 #11 
How sweet, Cocoa's mom =) My doggie used to lie down by the Christmas tree next to his wrapped gifts, and waited patiently to open them. He even used to help open our gifts too. Just thinking about that part makes me smile, probably for the first time I can smile thinking of him since he's gone. He loved this holiday. 

I like Firefighter's comment on "...maybe our dog divinci enjoyed the lights and decor we put up, maybe that's reason to continue". That's a sweet thought.

And Arlene_C's comment "I hope we can make it the best season we can considering. Our beloved pets would have wanted that." I know my doggie never wanted to see me sad and heartbroken. 

Maybe these posts will help some of us to do the best we can at this Holiday season. We'll see I guess. After reading these comments, I might reconsider decorating outside for him, and please don't laugh but just a thought came up, maybe he'll "see" and recognize all the outside lights from Heaven... Now I'm trying to hold back my tears thinking about it...


Tammys

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Posts: 40
 #12 
This Christmas is going to be so hard. We had to put our 12 year old golden retriever Lucky to sleep in July of this year. Every year for Christmas I would buy him toys and treats on Christmas morning he would open his own gifts up and lay. By the tree. I am not into it this year. I know I will be crying for him on Christmas morning not being here. I just don't want Christmas this year. I am not putting up a tree or decorating. I miss my lucky so much it hurts. I wish I was with him
seattlestown

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Posts: 6
 #13 
This year will be so tough. My baby lost her battle with cancer Friday. She would have turned 9 in January. I am in great shock still. The tumours appeared rapidly out of the blue by September. October brought a few unexplained pains that I thought was just arthritis coming. 2 surgeries in Nov had to happen....then the worst test results. Hemangiosarcoma. So fast... So unexpected. She was my whole life. She rescued me. She was my first and only dog. I was with her 24/7 after having to retire early in 2011 in the fall. She was my everything. I thank God for her everyday. Such a gift. Such a sweet angel girl. Truly Heaven sent. She came to me by surprise Feb 14 2009. The year we found out my sweet Oma was dying. Nothing has been easy since my world changed from 2009 to 2017 in various ways. But Seattle helped me go on....to survive. I loved her more than life. I will forever love her. I can’t wait till it’s my turn to go back Home and see her again. Where we can be together for all eternity. I miss you my sweet baby girl. It was far too soon. God must have wanted to give you back your wings. My special angel child. My beautiful girl so full of love. My home is empty without you. Xoxo
seattlestown

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Posts: 6
 #14 
Such a horrible pain to lose my baby Friday. Still in shock. Going through the motions of the day. Everything feels so empty here. If I do not constantly distract myself I fall apart. Feels like a constant punch in the gut...sick to my stomach feeling... so much heart pain. I love you my sweet girl. I wish you were here to cuddle with. You always cheered me up....brought so much joy. My heart is broken. I love you sweet girl xoxo
Arlene_C

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #15 

Tammys & seattlestown:

I am sooo so very sorry for you both and your losses. I too have lost my 2 angels within a month apart in August and September this year and it is extremely difficult without them. I hope over time it gets easier as I know we will never "get over" it, but I am thankful for everyone here to share in our grief together, it just helps in some way.

*seattlestown regarding your Dx, look into The Budwig Protocol, you'll find it on The Budwig Center website, I follow this myself, it is strict but worth looking into. Be well.

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