Registered: 1534636213 Posts: 1
Yesterday we took our 18 year old chihuahua to the vet, I kind of knew that they were going to want to put her down. She had been rapidly losing weight and just looked unhealthy and not happy.
After blood tests, they said basically her liver was failing and they could give her medicine if we wanted time to say goodbye. We also have two young children and decided it was time to say goodbye then. We said our byes and my kids and I went outside after they sedated her, while my husband stayed with her. I was fine getting outside and even on the ride home, I teared up but not full fledged breakdown. We got home and I was fine, cleaned house with tears in my eyes; but got through it. Then my husband left to go get some food for the kids and I broke down...it finally hit me that she wasn’t coming home. The dog that sat on my lap for almost 14yrs, the dog that got me through a painful miscarriage, being evicted from our apartment, bringing home two new babies to introduce her to. When my husband got home, we had to leave I just couldn’t be in the house anymore; I was fine again for the rest of the day and even when we got home I was okay again. I slept for a few hours last night. All today I was good, I even started eating; we left the house again for a little while. Then we got home and I just sort of lost it, I had a full on panic attack thinking of her not being here anymore. I have had panic attacks before, so it’s something I have dealt with.. it’s just been a while. I can’t sit down, and we live in the country now; when I use to have attacks I would go sit outside my apartment and watch the city goings on and would calm down. I over rationalize everything. My kids are taking her death well, neither of them have ever known life without our chihuahua. We have two other dogs and I know that they have figured out that our chihuahua is not coming home. Anyway, I’m hoping and praying that the grief gets better. Just writing this has made me feel a little better, and I have an awesome friend that has been texting me encouragement... it’s still just hard.
Registered: 1387660479 Posts: 46
I've found that when a beloved pet dies, there is a surrealness about the whole thing, no matter how the death occurs, i.e. naturally or by injection, or accident, or whatever. I have had well over 30 dogs and cats and other pets in my lifetime and it always hits me the same way: where did they go, how can this be???? I am only now, at 71, starting to accept the deaths of my so dearly loved furry friends over the years, since the inevitability of my own passing comes closer every day (although as far as I know I am pretty healthy still). I tell myself, when I start thinking of the recent death of my beloved cat Henry, that everything dies, sooner or later. I still miss him so deeply, but I try to accept that all living things pass, human and non-human, there's nothing I can do about it in the end, although I must try to make their lives while they live the best I can. I'm not religious, so I don't have a heaven myth to rely on (although I would love it to be true so I could be with my fur friends again someday), so it comes down to accepting the harsh reality, however inscrutable it may be. It don't like it, and it's not a comfort, but death seems to be something I have no control over, in the end. So I'm trying to deal with it.
I think you will do the same. You will cry when you think of her, and you will probably do that often. Over time the grief gets more submerged and life goes on. Don't fight it. Cry when you want to, and live life normally when you can and want to. It really is the only thing we can do. You've lost one of your best friends, and grieving is natural and necessary. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Registered: 1531963706 Posts: 104
I am so sorry. Even though we know these things are inevitable, it doesn’t make it easier. It has been a month for us and I do still have times when I “do get” he is gone and ruahto the door to let him out or see him. Let yourself grieve and remember. She has been a big part of your life. Do force closure or make yourself get over it. Come here as often as you need. May your family find peace. Paula- Raider’s mom
Registered: 1534426620 Posts: 19
Grieving and mourning our pets is hard, but we have to do this. Whatever it takes for you to grieve and mourn is what you need to do. These fur babies are part of our families...our children...and it will not be easy...is not easy (I just lost my beloved Bandit one week ago) but this website and others I have found have helped me understand that what I (and you) are going through is very natural and part of the healing process. I am just making it day to day, but I learn everyday different ways to cope. You cannot just get over this...it is a healing process. Over time you will come to terms with it and there will still be days when you cry or get depressed...we are human...that’s what we do. Your baby had a wonderful life and someone who loved her as dearly as you did...remember...even though she is gone...she is forever in your heart. She is at rest now, not hurting, happy, and waiting for you someday (this is what I believe anyways). May you find piece, but allow yourself to grieve....you have to do this to fully heal this loss. It’s natural. Take care.