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Marshaluvsbuddy

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Posts: 13
 #1 
Hi all,

 I just joined yesterday....losing my cocker Buddy on tuesday was hard.....and to be honest being a member and reading the kind words have been very beneficial.....How has being a member of Petloss.com helped you?????  I want to join in on the candlelight ceremony on Monday What is that like?  Describe
Marshaluvsbuddy

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #2 
I made a site for him

http://marshaluvsbuddy.8k.com

let me know what ya think......its my first time....so it kinda sucks lol...but seeing everyone else's inspired me :)
HerbiesMom

Registered:
Posts: 196
 #3 
I think for most of us, we have a bit of understanding from some the people in our lives but it only lasts a short time.  This is where we come to share our grief when the rest of our world tells us to get over it or thinks we are shallow or crazy to mourn the death of our pets. 

My world crashed and burned 12 weeks ago when Herbie died and I cannot mention him to anyone anymore -- No one wants to hear it.  He was who I loved most in the world and I have to pretend I am over it.

So for me, this is the ONLY place I can find people who understand.

Herbie's Mom
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,198
 #4 
I agree with Herbie's Mom, it has been nearly 7 weeks since Blackie died and I can no longer talk about it with anybody in my world, they just don't want to hear it or they think it has been long enough and I should be over it by now. 

Blackie was my world.  He and I had a very special bond and he was the one I loved most in this world.  For me, no matter how long it has been since Blackie died, this is the only place I know of that has people who understand and will always understand, no questions asked.

Kelly
Blackie's Mommy

katebock

Registered:
Posts: 686
 #5 
First, let me say that your Buddy is adorable!  Your memorial page was beautifully written and I can tell you had a special bond with him. I am so terribly sorry that you have suffered this loss.

I lost my kitty, Gus, in Dec. 07.  He was only 3 yrs. old and had never been sick until a week before he died.  I am married and have 3 wonderful daughters who were heart sick for me because they knew how much Gus meant to me.  He was my soul mate.  But, like HerbiesMom, it reached the point where everyone thought I should be over the loss.  They didn't want to see me sad and wanted me to move on.  I tried to explain to them how I feel, but since they did not have that connection, they just can't grasp how much I hurt.  The only people who truly understand and have complete compassion for what I am going through are the people on this site.

The candlelight ceremony is very touching.  Edw does a wonderful job.  I was kind of confused the first time I went to it, but the second time was very special to me.

I hope you continue to heal and that you will come  back whenever you need comfort and support.

Hugs
Kate (Gus' mom)

HelenY

Registered:
Posts: 1,415
 #6 
  Hi!   Your Buddy is just the cutest little guy.  We all know how you feel here, and that is why it's such a beneficial site to air all the emotions coming from such a great loss.  It's been over 6 months since I lost my little girl, Teddy, and I'm still struggling day to day with the sadness that never seems to leave me.  The only thing that helps is HERE.  I know I'm with people who understand where I'm coming from, and I feel that I'm not alone in my grieving process.  Every time I have those waves of sadness, I'm met with such wonderful words of love & support.  I couldn't find that anywhere else.  I've visited the Candle Ceremony on Mon. and found it very rewarding.  The healing will slowly begin, but the sorrow will always remain for me.
    I will say prayers that you will find some peace along the road to your healing also.

                Many hugs at this difficult time---Teddy's Mom
Luna13

Registered:
Posts: 846
 #7 
First let me say how sorry I am for your loss.  What a cutie Buddy is!!! 

For me, it was over a year after I lost my 4 year-old Lab Luna  and 4 months since I had lost my 13 year-old lab Gypsy that I even found this site.  I had not even begun to heal at that time - my life was not the same and I was filled with sadness.  I wish I knew about this site earlier, it would have helped me through some very dark times in my life.  I found this site through another site I was visiting, and it has been an absolute saving grace for me.  You can talk to your "friends" and family, but it's really weird how they just expect you to pick up the pieces and "move on" - so quickly!  Luna's death especially devistated me, because she was so young at the time.  She was my baby.  She litterally took a part of me with her when she died, I still feel that, and I know now that I will NEVER be quite the same.  The people here all understand our pain.  They don't judge you or question you, they just listen to you and say the most wonderful, inspiring things.  It's the only place I can go to get that.  God Bless every single person on this site!!!

Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
CindyH

Registered:
Posts: 577
 #8 
I agree with Herbiesmom too.   I couldn't have said it better.   After time passes, people think you should be over it.   I have come here for support and understanding and offered it to many also.   People do not understand the pain and grief of the loss.  

Cindy
Merry's mom
itzmichie

Registered:
Posts: 70
 #9 

I first came here when my little precious kitty was very sick.  Everyone here was so kind.  They had words of encouragement and prayers for both me and my little Tuffy, and those meant so much to me.  After Tuffy passed away, the people here were equally kind.  It means a lot to come here and know that others understand exactly how you feel, and they care about your pets, even if they don't know you.

fab1835

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #10 
Dear Buddy's Mom,

  I am so sorry for the loss of your Buddy.What a beautiful boy!I know you miss him terribly like the rest of us at this site miss our furbabies. All of the others here at Petloss are so right. After awhile people think we should be over our loss, but I know for me I'll never get over the loss of my Yorkie,Jingles who went to Rainbow Bridge over 3 months ago. I will say this-now I can think of the happy times I had with him, but I still miss him so much.This site helps because I can share with others feeling the same way. It's therapy and I know I will be an active member.God Bless you and I know Jingles and Buddy are laughing and playing at the bridge together.

                                             Jingles mom

                   
robynbythec

Registered:
Posts: 1,093
 #11 
First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss of dear Buddy -- What a cutie-pie he is!  Thanks for sharing his tribute with us all...

I honestly don't know what would have become of me if it were not for this site, and the people that make up this site.  I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but losing Molly was probably the most devastating thing in my life and something I just was not prepared for.  I don't know that we can ever prepare for loss...  Coming here, every day and night, to the chat room helped me to know that I was not alone.  Reading about everyone's loved ones, and visiting the tributes for them, really brought to light that I will never be alone, even in Molly's absence.  The Monday candle ceremony is just so beautiful, not only for remembering the ones we've each lost, personally, but as a whole.  And, all the creatures that need special prayers: lost, homeless, hungry.  It's also so amazing to me that we are all connected at that moment -- from all over the world, really -- lighting candles for all of the ones we've lost and remember.  What a glow there must be from all of us that night!

I hope you'll join the ceremony -- it truly is beautiful.

And, please keep coming here to share with us.  Tell us what you've loved and learned from Buddy.  We'd all love to hear that!

Big hugs to you,

HyzenthlayMollyWolf
Robyn
http://www.mollybooboo.critters.com
http://www.petsupports.com/robyn.htm


cinnamon5

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #12 
Hello,
    I'm sorry about your loss.  I never thought I would have to come to a site like this because I just thought my precious Bella would never die.  Of course I know like all animals and humans that we all will pass one day, but I never wanted to think about Bella in those terms.  This site has helped me realize that there are people that love their pets as much as I did.  Bella was such a wonderful cat that had cancer.  She hung on after surgery for a few months, but she finally let me know that it was time to let her go.  People on this site have really helped me by posting to my message or by reading their stories and knowing that I'm not alone.
     Many people outside this board don't realize the bond that a person has with their fur child.  They don't seem to understand that they are and were such an important part of our lives.  I hope that this board gives comfort to you in a time that others don't quite comprehend.  To some people when an animal dies it is no big deal, you just move on or get another pet because to them they are just replaceable.  People on this site know that it is just not that simple.
MaxsMom

Registered:
Posts: 258
 #13 
Dear Marshaluvsbuddy,

Your question made me think. And I have a long answer! I think that for me the answer, in part, is that this site gives me a place where I can share my feelings in an uncensored way, and be understood without judgment.  I have come to realize through this experience that it is sometimes hard for me to share my feelings and allow others take care of me.  This seems to be the case when I am grieving.  It is hard for me to ask for help.  (And that was a surprising self-revelation to me because I happen to be a counseling professional by trade, so I certainly understand the value of support!)  Through this site, I have learned to become more open when I am experiencing negative feelings, and to trust that others will respond in a positive way.  Also, sharing stories about Max has helped me to begin to focus on the happy memories, as well as deal with the sad ones.  The wonderful and caring people here have shared my pain and also my joy, and have reciprocated by doing the same.  Finally, being able to offer words of comfort and support to others has been very healing for me. 

It's true, when our beloved pets die, we don't have the benefit of the same kind of wake or funeral that we have when we lose our "people" loved ones.  There is usually no group surrounding us and offering comfort and giving us support.  For many of us, this particular grief experience is such a lonely thing.  When Max died, I received many sympathy cards from friends and family, but even so, something was missing, the condolences seemed time-limited.  Not so here.  The comfort and understanding and support continues even after 5 months.  That has been a true gift.

I am looking forward to seeing  Buddy's memorial page and am going to visit it now! You and Buddy are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so happy that you found us.

Warm wishes,
MaxsMom ~ Joanne
MaxsMom

Registered:
Posts: 258
 #14 
Ooohhh Marshluvsbuddy!

I just looked at Buddy's memorial page and he is absolutely the most adorable little guy!  How sweet he looks!  What a wonderful tribute to your precious boy!  Thank you for sharing.

Hugs,
MaxsMom
Marshaluvsbuddy

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #15 
Thanks everyone for the heartfelt replys!...I agree with the condolences being time-limited....  Buddy died on tuesday......but i know in a few weeks or months, most ppl will think that im over it and thats not the case...I am happy that I found this site so that I can greive and not be judged...I would love to be apart of the candlelight ceremony

P.S.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR SHOWING BUDDY'S PAGE SOME LUV. HE IS MY SPECIAL GUY

   HUGS 2 ALL
      MARSHA
mollyboltsmom

Registered:
Posts: 991
 #16 
Marsha,
Buddy is a doll! I am so sorry that you lost him.
How has this site helped me grieve? You know, towards the end of Moll's life, I was beginning to have serious reservations, about her food, about her meds, about her shots. When she died within 6 weeks of being diagnosed with inoperable oral melanoma, I felt like I had failed her somehow. My husband disagreed with me, but I felt like I didn't do everything I could have for her. I felt like for three years, we were just treating symptoms. I got past that guilt because I could talk it to death here.
I think the biggest thing for me was the realization that no matter what I was thinking or feeling, there is at least one person here doing the same. I am not alone in this; I am not unique. Here, we have a common point of view: we all love our precious ones and losing them is the hardest thing in the world. In spite of having lost other furbabies, it is our special bond with a particular one that brings us here.
I agree that people are short-sighted about the depth of our grief. I experienced that too. At least my husband is still grieving, and we speak of the Moll many times a day to each other. We are moving on, we have to. But the grieving of Miss Molly is still there after 7 months. And at the important milestones, Bridge days and Birthdays and holidays, I come here to write.
Peace to everyone grieving their baby today.
Molly's Mom
Claire

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #17 
Hello.  I am still here four years later.  Pip died in April 04 aged 2 of a stroke or heart failure.  Pip was the child I couldn't have.  If you lose a child no-one would dare say "get over it" "get another one" ... but if you lose a beloved animal they do.  Noone here tells you to buck your ideas up and move on -they understand how you feel - they have felt it and been through it. 

I have had some bad times - Pip was taken at a low point - another thing taken away.  I felt I didn't want to go on anymore - but finding kindness and empathy here helped.  People who are known to you and supposed to support you often don't in the end, you get on their nerves, but its not like that here.  

Some good has come from Pips life and death.  The shelter gets a donation in her memory every Christmas.  I keep coming back to try help others that may be desperate as I was for help with my grief.

Good luck.
Raven

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #18 
You little Buddy is so adorable! I'm so sorry for your loss.  What an expressive face on him!

This Monday the 19th will be two weeks since my little dog Sam went to the Bridge.  When she was sick and I was unsure what to do, I posted here, then we euthanized her, I posted here.  The caring and thoughtful comments I received were wonderful and comforting.    I still have Sam's bowls and beds around, and reading this site has let me know I'm not alone, other people feel as I do, that she was not "just a dog".

It still surprises me that people close to me don't ask how I'm doing, but here I know everyone understands.  I read here quite a bit and it really helps with the feelings of loss, knowing there are people out there who feel as I do and offer real understanding.

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #19 
Marsha,

I first came here to Petloss in late 1998 to memorialize a wonderful dog named Fredericka whom I had rescued from the street.   Then, last fall, when I knew my beloved little terrier, Betsy's, time was approaching, I came here for advice and support.   I helped her to the Bridge four months ago and have been coming here almost every day since.

Starting my own threads about my girl and receiving supportive replies has helped me tremendously.   But, what I think may be helping me the most is my reaching out to comfort and help others' who have lost their beloved babies.   I am doing all this in my little girl's name....in her memory.   It is my way of memorializing her life.   She was such a happy, joyful little terrier who loved me and everyone else with her whole heart.  And, how she loved life!  "WooWooWoo" was her joyful little yodel that was eventually silenced by her dementia.  

Your precious Buddy was adorable.   I hope you can find the support you need as you grieve.   There are some pretty wonderful people on this site who know exactly the pain you are feeling.

Hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever momma
vintagelace

Registered:
Posts: 51
 #20 
Marsha,

I'm glad I read your post and your "Buddy" is absolutely beautiful. I just lost my third cocker two months ago. "Bailey." I came to petloss before he passed away seeking advice regarding his cancer. I didn't know whether to have the surgery or not. I had such a wonderful response and Bailey had the surgery. He came through with flying colors and so glad I took everyone's advice. Six weeks later the cancer was back. Taking the other members advice gave me more time to spend with him. I would never have survived without the comfort of my friends here. They are special amazing people.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.

"Love is glorious because it makes us feel so deeply. Love is the ultimate or extreme of every feeling imaginable, is euphoric. That is why we yearn for it, suffer for it, indure the pain for it and grieve over the loss of it."





drbones

Registered:
Posts: 111
 #21 
Hi Marsha,
Your Buddy is absolutely beautiful
I came here a bit over 6 weeks right after my Hankie cat died tragically.  It was very hard for me to cope physically and emotionally, as it felt that my heart had ripped out of my body, and my soulmate taken suddenly from me.
It has been 6 weeks later, and with the help of the very caring people here, the grief is still present but not as overwhelming as it had been earlier.  They have shown me here that it is okay to cry, still miss him terriblly.  They listen to my story, even when no one in my present physical area will even bother to listen.  I still remember Hankie every day, like we all do with our special furr babies, and cry often, but this site, with the people, the candle ceremony and the poetry, have helped ease the pain somewhat.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I will remember you in my prayers.
Heather, Hanks forever mommy
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