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JaredMartin

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Posts: 1
 #1 
My 13 year old dog died today. Last year he was diagnosed with kidney failure but by the grace of God my vet was able to save his life. Well yesterday the symptoms of kidney failure came back. He wouldn’t eat or drink, vomiting, had a hard time walking, etc. and today it was all the same except he also had diarrhea and at that point I knew I had to take him to get put down. It would only be fair to him. While we were waiting outside the vet hospital (they were very busy) he passed away in my arms which I think was a blessing for me and him but also very hard for me to see him go and to see him be so lifeless. Now when I’m in my house I look at all his dog beds and see them so empty. I look st all the dog treats I have for him, his vitamins and all that other stuff and it makes me feel so lonely. I was holding his collar in my hand a minute ago and when I moved my hand I just heard his dog tag shaking and my first thought was that he was standing outside my door waiting for me to let him in my room. How long will the grieving process last? I’m only 19 so I’ve had him more than half my life and he’s my little baby. I had probably spent over 2k in him just this last year alone with medical bills and having to miss work some days to take care of him and everything else for him. I would have done anything humanly possible for him but it was his time to go. I’m having him cremated so do y’all think when I get his ashes back if that’ll help the grieving process? Just that alone maybe having him with me? Any thoughts or suggestions i would appreciate a lot. Prayers too
diane772

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Posts: 237
 #2 
Dear Jared, i know how you feel. Getting my Brandy's ashes did help me. It gave me comfort knowing she was home where I could watch over her. I am glad I did it and I hope it will give you some comfort. We all look for a way to feel better about what has happened even if it is small comfort, it all helps. You are in my prayers of course.    Diane
moonmoon

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Posts: 17
 #3 
Dear Jared, 
Your circumstances are incredibly similar to mine- I lost my sweet girl, Phoebe, last Thursday - she was 12, also had kidney failure and was due to be put to sleep at the vets but she died in my arms before the vet had the chance. I also consider it a blessing that she passed away peacefully in my arms because I was with her right at her final moment, and mine was the last voice she could hear (lots of research shows that during the dying process, hearing is the last faculty to go). My vet told me that pets often wait until their owners are with them before they pass on and that the fact she was with me might have allowed her to relax and just let go of her own accord. I find great peace in that and consider it a privilege that I was able to be there for her in the last moments of life to comfort her and I hope you do too. I feel completely devastated, just as you do and I am also waiting to get her ashes back from the vets. I have decided I am going to keep her ashes at home- I dont feel ready to part with them yet and maybe one day, when I feel its the right time, I am going to scatter them over the cornfields at the back of our house. My fondest memories of her were the walks we used to take in the cornfields at sunset when the entire fields looked ablaze with golden light. I dont think there is any one "proper" way to grieve- its such a personal thing. Just be kind to yourself and do whatever it is that gives you comfort. In time, you will be able to remember the great times you had with him and the pain will hopefully feel less raw and more bearable. ((hugs))
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