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eli_is_struggling

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Posts: 4
 #1 
Hello!

I posted a little while back when my baby of 15 years was put down :( 
It's now been a little over a month and I can't help but have mixed feelings about adopting another dog. My entire family seems to be on board with it but a part of me still just.. isn't ready to have another dog.

Don't get me wrong, I do want another dog. I just feel guilty that I'm thinking about getting a new dog a little over a month after we had to put him down. Due to the lovely coronavirus we haven't even picked up his ashes from his cremation. My whole family thinks it's a really good idea to get a dog during this time because everyone is home and we can work together to help train the new dog.

When he was alive he'd get so sad when we'd say another dog was cute or gave them attention. I just can't get over this guilt that my old dog is watching me from heaven and is going to be sad that we're already "moving" on so quickly.  I feel like this is a normal feeling, but I just don't know how to "get over" the feeling that I'm betraying my old dog. I've had him since I was a little kid.
Raiseravens88

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Posts: 8
 #2 
I can relate so much to this. It’s been a number of days since our Tiny left us and we’re feeling so lonely that the thought has popped into our minds. I used to think people who moved on so quickly were crazy, but now I get it. Your heart still wants to love something and when it’s not there, it hurts extra. Also there are so many rescue pets without a home that deserve to be loved. We are not going to act on it just yet, but it does feel very odd and I have the same guilt you speak of, although you’re farther out in time than us. I guess there’s no rule...

We loved our two cats who both passed this year, 10 months apart. We never fathomed that we’d have an empty home so quickly and especially in this strange time. Struggling to feel right...
lovemyboys

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Posts: 10
 #3 
I understand your mixed feelings. My precious boy died unexpectedly 3.5 weeks ago and I have not stopped crying since. He was healthy his entire life and still young for his breed. My other little guy was his best bud in the world. They were inseparable for 13 years--we literally went everywhere together. They couldn't stand to be apart. After my boy died, his brother was nearly comatose for 4 days and is just coming out of it. He was there and understood what happened. It was heartbreaking.

The problem is that the little guy I still have with me was a year older, and has had chronic medical conditions his entire life. My fear is that right now, he is the only thing keeping me going from this overwhelming grief and sadness and that if I lose him too, I will have nothing left at all. Yes, I have a family, but those dogs were my world. I was bonded to them in a way that my family was not. They loved them, but it was different.

Our of fear of losing my current dog and having nothing left, I have considered at some point over the coming months getting a puppy. I even forced myself to look online and flag some places. But each time I would come to realization that I don't want just any dog. I want MY dog back. I want HIM.

I know that I am not ready yet. I also cannot imagine the heartache of living through loss again, but I know it is inevitable. I know that my little guy misses his brother terribly, but I don't know if giving him a new brother will change things. I don't know if instead I should devote all my attention to him, while I still have him. If that is what he would prefer, I would do that, even though his loss would then leave me with no purpose. But I don't know what is best for him or best for me.

I've decided to give myself the space and time I need to grieve. My boy deserved that. I need to honor him. But I also know that not everyone in this world loves their dogs as deeply as I love mine, sadly, and that maybe it is my calling...maybe I owe it to another dog to give them a loving home and a wonderful life. No dog will ever replace another, and I saw firsthand what wildly different personalities my boys had, despite being the same breed. I would need to reach a place of knowing that I couldn't hope for a new pup to behave like my lost one. To know that my boy was special, and unique, and one-of-a kind. And that this was what made him so special.
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