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Teisha888

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Posts: 14
 #1 
Sunday September 30, I lost my sweet boy Finn. He was only 6 months old and he was so beautiful. I loved him so very much, beyond belief. I kept him in the house for the first 6 months of his life and got him neutered on September 5th. I live on an acre of land and the plan was to let him out with supervision so he could begin enjoying the outdoors some. Of course only supervised and never at night.
The afternoon of the 30th around 4pm, I put his collar on him and allowed him out. Then I messed up. I sat down on the couch and drifted off to sleep for about 30 minutes. When I awoke, I jumped up alarmed, remembering I had let him out to play. I ran out to look for him and he had already made it out to the road and had been hit. He had already died.
I blame myself 100%! I was supposed to be supervising him. How could I let this happen?! It wasn’t his first time out and he never normally went to the road. I picked him up and held him for an hour or so then made him a grave fit for a king in the back yard.
Now I’m left empty, empty and guilty. My house just sucks. It’s lonely and it isn’t the same. At first I hated going home but then I tried to remember that this was Finns home too and he loved it here. I just want to go back to last Sunday and change everything. I would give anything to have him back and I would never let him in harms way again.
midnyloo

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #2 
Teisha, maybe what I will say won't make any difference right now since the pain is so big but for whatever its worth here it is:
You can only blame yourself if the death is due to irresponsible or intentional action on your behalf. That is not the case here.
In this case you sat on the couch, I'm guessing you were probably tired, sleep deprived, just had a meal or whatever and nature took its course: You fell asleep. And during this time your pet went out the house and a car happened to pass by. You know what they say: He was at the wrong place at the wrong time... Its not as if you irresponsibly let him ran out on the street. 
There is only so much you can do. You can be careful 99.9% of the time and then when you are not looking for a split second it all goes wrong. Its not possible for anyone to be 100% on top of things. No human can do that. 
Many people have done the same thing over and over but nothing bad happened, You did it once and it all went wrong. That's bad luck.
Many children die that way too. The parent is careful all the time and when for a split second they are not looking or whatever, there it goes. Its bad luck and in your case you and your pet happen to be the recipients of it.
Like you say in your last sentence "I would never let him in harms way again" but realistically that is not possible for any human to do. There is always something that can take your attention away: a phone may ring, food may get burned on the stove or whatever else takes your attention away for a spit second and there it goes. Sometimes I believe that things were meant to be. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be talking I just lost my cat too and I blame myself too. But for whatever its worth I think it was not your fault but just bad luck.

I wish you that this would be the last time you go through such tragedy.
Best,
Patrick.





Teisha888

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #3 
Thank you for your kind words Patrick. They mean more than you know.
Teisha888

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #4 
What happened to your baby if you don’t mind me asking?
midnyloo

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #5 
I am happy to hear I can offer you some support. My cat died a couple of days ago and l am still mourning. I made a post its called True Love. You can read about it HERE if you want. Thank you so much for asking.
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