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Posts: 1
About 2 weeks ago i had to put my best friend of 15 years down. Salem was a black shorthaired male. He was my life. Everything I did revolved around him. I would choose any day to stay with him than go out and do things. He was my comfort in any time of need, whether that be happiness, sadness, anxiety. The first few days I cried endlessly, then I only started crying at night. Recently, I came to the conclusion I might be ready for an animal. My home has felt dead without my babys presence. We got a black kitten that looks like him. I am having more breakdowns than ever and cannot sleep. I cry all night long thinking about my best friend who I can never replace. I know the cat is his own person, but I cant help looking across the room and seeing my Salem. What should I do? I’m wondering if I got a cat too soon or if I will just move on? Feeling more sadness than happiness when getting a new companion was not a feeling I thought I would have.
Thank you for your time.

Posts: 30
Hello, I'm very sorry for your loss, and I can understand your relationship with Salem, as my Burley was my world, too. 

I had experienced loss in the past, and I ended up adopting again, so I assumed I would end up adopting again anyway and began looking at shelters/rescues just for curiosity's sake. One drew my eye and I spent some time with her and something compelled me to adopt. She's sweet but we just don't have that joined-at-the-hip connection Burley and I had; he always slept next to me while she's content to sleep in the living room, et cetera. 

Of course, I know all cats have different personalities, and it takes time for relationships to develop, so, I'm being patient. Hopefully we'll develop a different-yet-loving relationship in time, and I hope the same for you and Salem.

Posts: 104
I am a sorry for both of you and your losses. It is strange how they capture us. I think animal friends and family are like our human ones, with some there is just a deeper connection. I do not know why. But I believe it is true. I don’t have any answer but I do have a listening ear and am her for you guys.

Paula - Raider and Rocky’s mom

Posts: 67
Thank you for sharing your pain.

Posts: 1,191
Hi Christina,

First of all, let me offer my condolences for your loss. It is never easy to lose a beloved friend, especially one that has been such an important part of our lives for so many years.

When I lost my beloved Blackie, I adopted Squeeker just a few days later. I did so not to replace Blackie but more because I really missed having a kitty that snuggled with me the way Blackie did. Squeeker did that and more, but I had a very hard time bonding with him in the first few weeks. I think maybe in the back of my mind I knew I could return him to the place where I adopted him with no questions asked after 30 days. Well, the 30 days came and went, and on the 31st day I remember looking at Squeeker and saying something to the effect of well, now we are stuck with each other, aren't we? 

And sure enough, thus began a very deep and strong love affair that ended just over 9 years later when I had to let my precious boy go and be free of the pain that his cancer was causing him. It was an incredibly painful decision, but it was one that was made out of love. I still miss him over 1 year later after his passing and I know I always will...

I guess what I am saying is that sometimes it takes time for a bond to develop. You had Salem for over 15 years. It takes a long time to grieve, and you shouldn't try to put a timetable on when your tears will stop flowing and the sadness will leave your heart. It took over a year for me to be able to talk about Blackie without bursting into tears. But in the meantime, my bond with Squeeker - who was also a black DSH (just like Blackie and your Salem) - was growing into something very special and unique. If you give it time, I am sure your new kitten will also capture your heart and you will fall deeply in love with him, just as you did with Salem.

Hugs and healing thoughts and prayers to you as you go through this very difficult time...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom


Posts: 1
I adopted a sweet beautiful cat named shelby. She was at a shelter. She was 2 years old. I only had her for 4 months. She was the love of my life. She was all that I had. She was the sweetest cat that I ever had. I think she was in a cage for 2 years before I adopted her. That broke my heart so I adopted her as soon as I could. She looke really skinny and looked sick. The first day that I adopted her the vet said she had kidney disease. For almost 3 months she was fine, she was happy and she was playing alot with her toys and was eating her special kidney food. The end of July she started to scare me, she went from a very loving and happy cat to where she stopped eating and she started to hide from me and ignoreme. I always watched her and what she was doing. I was so scared that her kidney disease was starting to effect her, but the vet said she had gained weight. I begged her to do a blood test on her and a urine test on her and she refused to do it.Then she went to the vet for 5 days and they gave her fluids to flush out her kidneys. The vet let her come home. The first day she came home she seemed fine, then for 4 days she stopped eating and wasn"t using the bathroom anymore. I laid in bed with her all day everyday holding her in my arms. I was in bed with her everynight holding her in my arms and she was always purring and she would look up at me with her sweet, little face and I would kiss her and tell her that I loved her I knew that she wasn"t going to live that much longer. I totally adored this sweet little cat. I knew when I took her to the vet that I was going to have to put her to sleep, I dreaded it. When I took her to the vet she looked like she was totally out of it. They gave her a sedative and I held her in my arms, and felt her little heartbeat get slower & slower, she was already stiff and not moving. I gave her back to the vet and looked into her eyes and they were closed and I cried so hard and I kissed her on her head and told her how much I loved her and how much I will always miss her. She died in my arms. I hope she knew how much that I loved her Im so glad that she didn"t have to die alone suffering in a cage. I gave her the best life that I could give her. All I do is cry and I cannot sleep anymore and Im so depressed that I don"t want to get out of bed anymore. I am in shock.I don"t think I will ever get over her. and I have no emotional support from anyone around me. It killed me to have to put her to sleep,but now she isn"t suffering anymore. I miss & love you my sweet little Shelby. Linda

Posts: 12
My heart breaks for you and I am so sorry you had to go thru that. Animals always know how much we love them. You gave her a wonderful home and love, it is just so sad that you didn't get to have her longer. It isn't fair. My beagle was very recently attacked by another dog and sadly due to the severity of the injuries, she had to be put down. I can not function and all I do is cry all the time. I know in time people say it will get easier and I know it will. But now I am breaking inside. She was the best dog one can ask for, loved everyone and didn't deserve this. 
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