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dankreed

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Posts: 3
 #1 
Her name was Crookedhead, she was loved so very much!

Crookedhead came to me 10 years ago through a friend that owns a cat rescue in my area.  I often went out there to help with chores.  he typically had 10 to 20 cats that all lived in a large sanctuary with vegetation, things to climb lots of shelter from the elements..

One day i saw a blur of fur run past me.  I asked my friend what was that cats story.

It was a tragic story. with lots of abuse and neurological damage.  over a few months i would come visit the cats and make attempts to connect with this young cat that had ZERO trust in humans at this point.  It never seemed to work

I didnt give up.. i ask my friend if i could take her home and try some one on one with her.  "If you can catch her, you are more than welcome to take her with you for a while."

took me about two weeks but i eventually got her into a carrier and brought her home.

When i released her in the house she ran and hide.. just so happened the hiding spot she picked was under my bed.. and she was not coming out. 

For 3 months she lived under my bed.. i put a cat box food and water under there for her.. while i was away she might have done some exploring but while i was in the house she was under the bed

One night while i was sleeping i felt her at my feet.. once i move she ran under the bed.. this went on for a couple weeks at night she would come on to the bed and sleep at my feet.. then one night i felt her nose her way under the covers and come further up towards my hips.  a few weeks later she was by my side and allowing me to pet her.

then every night she was at my shoulder purring sleeping comfortable but still living for the most part under my bed.. 

one day i was sitting in the living room i looked down the hall and Crookedhead was peering out into the hallway.. looking at me I encouraged her to come to me she was to timid and decided to stay in the room

all this took place over approx 6 months..   I moved my recliner in the living room so she could see me when she looked out of the bedroom door..  One day she sprinted down the hall and jumped into my lap.. from that point on this little girl was on me all the time talking to me and purring i was able to move her food and little box to a more appropriate place and for the next 9 or so years she lived in peace, lots of love and everything she needed regular vet visits etc.

Three years ago the abuse she suffered started to take a toll on her.  a hollow bone in her skull had been crushed as a youngster that acts much like a brain barrier.  without this bone she was susceptible to infections and as such she needed some surgery and a feeding tube for 12 weeks.. 

she recovered for the most part and for the past couple years was doing pretty good she would require some antibiotics for a couple weeks every now and again to help clear up things.. 

but this time it just didnt work.   over the past four days she was declining rapidly i called my vet last night and told him i think she is at end stage so he told me to bring her in to the office this morning, he came in just for us. 

I knew the answer to my question and i just needed to hear it from someone else

She was far gone and it was just time...  over the last month i noticed she was not purring that much.. i would even ask her... are you ok you are not purring like you usually do.. 

at the vets i bundled her up in a warm blanket held her in my arms and she was looking right into my eyes and i could hear a faint purr under her labored breathing.. I really feel like she was telling me its all ok.. dont feel guilty despite the hard start i have had a good life.  

I could feel her discomfort dissipate as she took her final breath... and IT WAS HARD.. it still is hard.. I am having a hard time reading what i am typing through the tears..   

Crookedhead and I have been through a lot over the years she was always there when i come home form work she would always greet me at the door.. she would sit patiently while i was getting settled into my recliner for some relaxing TV viewing after dinner and jump up and assume her position.  it has only been a day and i miss that so much.

every night she would curl up at my shoulder while i was sleeping.

I know i am not alone.. and people around me just dont seem to understand the connection i had with my cat.   thanks for reading this.. I just needed a place to declare how much i love and miss my little crookedhead.  

and just to clear one thing up. because over the years people would always say Crookedhead that is a strange name for a cat.
I named her that because the damaged she sustained while a kitten made so her head had a noticeable lean to her left.  I just started calling her that and it stuck. 
PoisonIvy

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Posts: 60
 #2 
I love the name Crookedhead!  And I admire you for giving her a good life and a good death.  
Always__there

Registered:
Posts: 123
 #3 
Hello D...  I feel your despair.. For the love of an animal. How fortunate was your little one for all those years being under your care and attention. She, timid from the start and obviously so and then your patience plus, gaining her trust. They are all so vulnerable. If every animal was afforded pet Owners like You and I and countless others on this Forum, would be a better World. Still feel the loss of my beloved chihuahua, Perry, 16y, having been laid to rest 1 month now. Quite the void. takes it's toll, I do feel for You and the overwhelming sadness at this very moment. Be thankful it was Your caring nature taking her in and giving her the best life possible. Crookedhead touched Your Soul-- that is Forever, that is a Blessing.
RIP little one.                                                                     Sherry/Perryx
dankreed

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #4 
so its been a couple days since Crookedhead has passed on.   Strange thoughts have been running through my head..  the first night i had dream of her.

In this dream it was understood that after the injections, the process took a while, and she had a miraculous recovery, but it was too late.  I woke up feeling horribly depressed. 

Then when i leave the house i find myself thinking, well she'll be there at the door when i get home.  then the realization that she wont hits me like a large wave.

What i find most disturbing is i have these searing images of her after she was gone..  her lifeless eyes and slightly open mouth.  i positioned her in a curled up sleeping manner.  I find it odd that right now.. when i think of her those are the only images that come to my mind 

I have a few regrets.. i think back to all those times when crookedhead wanted to come sit with me and i was doing something and id pick her up and say.. not now crookedhead i am busy.  

on the exterior you would not be able to tell i am dealing with this pain.. i come to work do my job and interact with others.. and they have no idea.. its all internal

I have found myself reading others stories on this page and others  there are many things i am thankful for when it comes to my time with crookedhead.. but right now i am most thankful for my Vet and his expertise to handle the procedure well.  She silently passed no struggle she simply went to sleep. 

I miss her, completely   
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