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Posts: 116
I thought I was doing better but then I picked up Cleo's ashes last night.  I guess that made it seem very real that she is gone and never coming back.

I keep thinking about times that I got annoyed with her throughout her life and I feel so bad.  I also realized that I never prayed for her while she was sick because I just assumed she would get better.  She always did in the past. 
My other cat Rocky was being very cuddly and affectionate since Cleo passed but now he is acting angry and biting/scratching.  I guess he has realized she is not ever coming home.

I am so glad I found this board because it feels like all of you understand.


Posts: 8
Hi Holly,

I'm so sorry about Cleo.  I will have to pick up Evita's ashes soon as well.  I'm dreading it.  Try to imagine Cleo in a beam of sunlight all snuggly and warm watching you.  Take comfort in Rocky.  Give him some time and shower him in love and his very favorite foods.  I only just had Evita and now my house feels truly empty.  My thoughts are with you, be strong.



Posts: 452
Dear Holly,
My condolences to you about Cleo. The journey in each of our lives after loss of a pet is often a very private and lonely journey and as you said, "I'm so glad I found this board because if feels like all of you understand." I feel the same way and the support that I received from Pet Loss truly was the biggest part of my own journey through grief after losing my cat, Decker. I am and will be forever grateful to Pet Loss for the caring of my friends here. Amazingly, strangers from all over this earth find Pet Loss with their own stories of loss and all of us grow in our journey together with a sense of unity and new strengths. 

Receiving Cleo's ashes is very emotional for you, Holly, as it makes the loss that much more real as you said. I always felt with picking up and having Decker's ashes with me that she was 'back home' in a different way but that she was again close to me. It is a very emotional part of the loss of Cleo as you say but you are helping yourself travel this journey by sharing your thoughts here. 

Always feel you are not alone and visit Pet Loss sharing stories of your Cleo. 

Blessings to you and your fur angel, Cleo.

Wendy (Decker's mom)

Posts: 12
Can you tell us about a time when you and Cleo shared love and kindness?  

Posts: 116
I shared so many wonderful times with Cleo.  She was so silly and always looking for attention...if I was sitting at the table eating breakfast she would always be at my feet or trying to jump on the table but one time just a few weeks ago she jumped onto on of the empty chairs and just sat and rested her chin on the table looking so cute. 
She would always sit beside me if I was reading or watching tv.
I miss her.

Posts: 11,059
Picking up the ashes of your beloved pet is always an emotional time.  And, once you start thinking about your sweet fur baby, the guilty feelings come along also.  Just about everyone here wishes they had done more while their pet was with them....very natural feelings.  Cleo knew how much you loved and cared about her! In time, you will start to feel much better and all the special times you shared will warm your heart.

precious Christoph ~ my sweet bunny boy ~


Posts: 40
First of all (hug)!  That too is the part that I am dreading.  I will be picking up my sweet Molly's ashes too(passed Nov. 13th, 2010), and I am afraid that that will be the time I truly truly fall apart, because I haven't ...yet.  It really seems to be the final final station in the journey doesn't it.

I am going to take a tiny bit of those ashes and sprinkle them on our favourite beach..she LOVED swimming I think most of anything in the world..except food!  I love that beach too and I would like to think that when I take the new furkid Monty for his first swim time, Molly will be there with us.

The rest of her is going into my gardens.  For years as I look at my flowers I will think that my Molly helped our loved gardens grow more and more beautiful each year.  Every flower will help me remember her.

I hope you have a special spot for your furkid's remains, that will help you remember you special friend.

Posts: 1,066
Hi Holly,
     I am so very sorry for your loss of Cleo.  I lost a charcoal standard poodle on Feb. 24th, 2009 and guess what?  Her name was Cleo.  She had malignant oral melanoma and she went to the Bridge 9 months after being diagnosed and treated at the age of 12 1/2.  She was my everything.  I know what you are going through.  Grieving is so difficult and it is such a roller coaster of emotions.  It is so very draining and it takes time to heal, but you have been blessed Holly because you have found this beautiful family here.  Everyone is so compassionate and many of us here truly understand where you are right now.  I know you are not in a good place, but I promise you that you will heal and that the sun will shine again.  Cleo is watching over you  and she loves you so so much. Talk to her and keep your connection strong.  Your bond is neverending and can only get stronger.  Take care of yourself and try to get plenty of rest. Thinking of you at this very difficult time and praying for you to have peace.
                         Sleep peacefully,

Posts: 116
Trixi, I am so sorry for the loss of Mr. E. 
I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but the ashes are not Mr. E, his spirit is what is really important and the fact that he was loved and lived a wonderful life.
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