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Denyse

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Posts: 9
 #1 
We waited as long as we felt our 15 year old German shepherd, Angel, wasnt suffering. I could be her 24 hour hospice care since I am off work. She was suffering trying to breathe all Saturday night. My husband made the call and I counted the hours before the vet would come to our house. I dont want to mention the rest. It was peaceful but not what I want. I want her to live and I want her back in my arms and my house and my life. This is terrible torture to lose my best friend in all the world and I want her back. I know rationally that is not possible but my heart isnt rational right now and I have never ever experienced such a deep connection and love like I have with Angel. I dont know how to move from here and I just want her back so i can talk to her constantly and she would listen. The silence is killing me. 
I will be at home until school starts up again and the idea of being in this home that was her life is killing me. She was the best companion in the whole world and I am so angry and hurt that I outlived her. I am 61 and I never had a pet and this dog has brought so much love to my house its unbelievable the joy she brought to this boring family. God I cant take this and I want her back please a sign or something that will help me believe that I will be reunited with her one day.
diwolff

Registered:
Posts: 96
 #2 
I'm so sorry for your loss.  There truly is nothing like your best friend.  We are going through the same thoughts and pain over the loss of our 9 1/2 year old Golden Retriever, Cassie, who was taken from us by cancer.  The same thing...........the hard breathing, gasping for air, hearing water in her lungs, we, too, made the vet call who came to our house.  Yes, it was peaceful for her, too, but I want her back so bad.  I have been crying since it happened one week ago today.  The pain IS unbearable.   I know in my heart that a connection like I had with her is not broken by death.  I know that's she's around me.  I started feeling her presence a few days ago.  But, as you feel, I feel.  I want to hold her, hug her, talk to her.  I look at pictures of her and I want her back.  Yes, I am not rational at this time either.  I don't know how to get through this, but I feel she's trying to help me somehow.  Your Angel will always be by your side.  You may not see or feel her, but somehow I'm sure she's with you.  Love cannot die.  Angel is part of you and always will be.  Hang on to the memories, no one else can understand.  They are NOT just dogs, they become part of us.  May God comfort us all.
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #3 
I am so so sorry that you had to let dear Angel go. It's one of the hardest things we have to do in our life time. We vow to protect and take care of them and some how we feel we let them down. But you didn't and it natural to want them back and rewind. Give your heart time to heal and grieve all you need to. There is no time line on healing, we all have to heal on our own terms. I was a wreck for 8 months after letting my sweet Termy go last September. I wanted him back in my arms and the guilt ate me alive that I took his life. I sought a professional counselor and had a spiritual reading in which Termy came through and he told me he was safe and happy among other things. But I believe , now that our babies leave their physical bodies but never leave our sides. They remain in spiritual form still loving us and taking care of us. Please read the book, "signs from our pets in after life" by Lyn Ragan. I think it may help you feel better but give grief some time.
She is at the Bridge waiting for the day to come when you will be reunited,. God didn't make a perfect companion and wouldn't let us be with them in the after life.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
ColoradoDan

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Posts: 2
 #4 
Denyse,

I'm typing a response to your post through my tears. I'm so so sorry to hear about Angel. We had to make the same anguishing decision for our beloved silky terrier (Namaste) on Sat as well. We felt it was time when his breathing began to get shallow. He was a few days short of 15 years. By far the longest wait of my life as we anticipated the arrival of the vet on Sunday. 

Walking into our empty house is agonizing. I'm a grown man and I break down and cry at the thought of not seeing our Namaste in his little bed. The pain is overwhelming at times. We miss him terribly!

We just keep reminding ourselves that this is temporary, temporary, temporary. We all pass over to the other side someday, and will get to see our loved ones on that great Day. I fully believe our pets are there waiting for us to arrive......

God bless

Dan


Denyse

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #5 
Thank you to all for your replies. It really helps me to read your posts. We speak the same language! I can tell you know what it's like and I don't feel so alone and lost. I always talked to Angel and I stopped after 3pm yesterday. I cant see her now but now I have strong moments of sensing her presence and I've been talking to her as weird as it seems. I need to tell her so much. I just kept telling her since we found out she was ill how much I loved her and I'd pet her and love on her for long time every chance I could. Now the ache and longing of my heart is a lump that at times will smile with thoughts of her and other times will pound in my chest like a nail. I miss her I miss Angel and long to see her again and have more time. Please God let me know this is not the end.
Dogmommy

Registered:
Posts: 394
 #6 
I am so terribly, terribly sorry about your loss of your beloved Angel. Please accept my deepest sympathy and heart felt condolences. 
 
I am a Born Again Christian and I believe that the Bible is the Word of God. The Bible teaches that ALL animals, unlike all people, go to Heaven. The very instant your beloved Angel left this world she found herself in the loving arms of Jesus. She is young and perfectly healthy again and is running and playing and leaping for joy in the gorgeous green fields of Heaven. I am not making up something just to try to make you feel better--it is a fact. Here is a link to a post I wrote. It is a true story and well worth reading. It also has links in it so that you can see for yourself what the Bible teaches about animals and Heaven and it also has some wonderful links for comfort. If the link doesn't take you directly to my opening post just scroll up the page to the top. Click here: GOD CARES DEEPLY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR PET - Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
 
And if you are not sure if the Bible is the Word of God or not here is a really wonderful link so that you can know that it is and thus Angel really is in Heaven
 
I know how horrible the pain of separation from our beloved fur babies is (even though it is just temporary in the grand scheme of things) and I hope that your being able to know where your beloved Angel is will bring you at least a little bit of comfort.
 
Once again I am so deeply sorry for your devastating loss.
 
ColoradoDan

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #7 

Amen Dogmommy,

Loved your post. Spot on. Our loved ones with four paws are in heaven and are healed and whole again. Running. barking, chasing butterflies, chewing up shoes! 

I miss our little guy SO, SO much but I know by faith in Christ and the love of our Creator I will see him again. I hold onto this with all my heart. 

Dan

Denyse

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #8 
Thank you,

I will be rereading these posts as I travel. My sister invited me to visit her. I am reluctant to leave my home, Angel's home. I was reluctant to leave her before. I depended on her attention. I depended on her love. I know Christ loves me even more and I use to tell Angel that she was showing me how much I am loved by God. Theres a part of me that thinks no one will love me like she did. 

I am so pleased to read that our beloved pets will be in heaven. I cant wait! I want to see her again and look into her beautiful loving eyes. We would look into each others eyes alot. I miss her and my heart is heavy. Sometimes I feel numb. Sometimes I feel so blessed to be alive and I need to spend every moment loving. Then I feel heavy like I cant get up. I miss Angel.
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