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creatrix

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Posts: 5
 #1 
I did the unthinkable.  I have excuses: it wasn't a safe place to stop, I was feeling sick... but the fact is, I panicked.  I was too afraid of what I might see to stop and help a cat who had been injured.  I was sure he wouldn't make it... but I'm not sure anymore, and I know he didn't.  I passed his little body this morning.

I am so ashamed!  I can't understand WHY I didn't stop.  I know I was feeling sick - I'd been counting the minutes until I could get to a bathroom - but is that a reason?  he wasn't my pet, he might have been a stray, I don't know... but I'm mourning this little life and the guilt is near unbearable.  I'm not this person... I CARE about animals.  I do, really.  I hate what I did on Sunday night and I can't explain it except to say that I was afraid.  It didn't occur to me that he might live until I though about that image that keeps playing over and over in my mind, and now I'm pretty sure that if I'd only done something, he'd be recovering now.  Instead I just prayed that it would end quickly and went home and hugged my own cat.  What the hell is wrong with me???

So if he was yours, I am so so unbelievably sorry.  I was scared.... that's the only feeble excuse I have.  I can't mitigate it with anything.

Please say a prayer for that beautiful animal. 



CathyCouch

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #2 

Please don't beat yourself up. The world is full of "what ifs". If you had not seen him, he would have not received that prayer. All things happen for a reason. You were driven to keep going when you may have otherwise stopped. It may have just been that kitty's time to go. Just keep loving your kitty ay home. I just lost my beloved little girl kitty Friday. What I wouldn't give to hug her again. Forgive yourself.

katndogs

Registered:
Posts: 64
 #3 
Dear Creatrix,
Sometimes, Life has other plans . . don't beat yourself up . . you probably couldn't have done anything more than move him/her to the curb . .and an injured cat could very well give you a very nasty bite, especially if they're ferral . .Horrid that you had to witness all that . .it's hard I know, beleive me . . sometimes we're not meant to "interfere in another's "karma" . . Love on YOUR cat . . and keep it inside.
Blessings,
Katndogs
creatrix

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #4 
Thanks, Cathy.  I will remember your kitty in my prayers.  I know how awful that is... losing a pet.  I spoke with Boo Boo's Mom in chat this mornign and that helped me a bit as well.  And I have to admit... I've taken an ativan so I can calm down. 

I was scared... next time, I won't be.  Next time, I'll do my best.  I owe at least that much to that cat.

MrMeowgy

Registered:
Posts: 763
 #5 

Please don't do this to yourself. You did panic and we all have at one time. We all have regrets. But chances are there wouldn't have been anything you could have done. God must have wanted that baby back at that time. Something similar happened to me with a bunny I saw in the road. I panicked and didn't stop. I too felt horrible. Thinking of it now I still do. People like us who love animals spend a large amount of time sad. We try but some things we have no control over.  Please remember that. I will light a candle for that little kitty on the pl candle group under KITTY. Give your own darling extra hugs and kisses and spoil her/him rotten. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom

creatrix

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #6 
Thanks, Donna.

It's awful.  Someone on another board was telling me that she's still traumatized about seeing a squirrel that way years ago. 

I did rush home and grab my kitty and hug her!  She's an indoor cat (for obvious reasons), and I think she's agoraphobic.  (Her last two trips out of the house were to the vet for surgery: getting spayed and then because she ate a piece of a cat toy.)  No going outside for MY baby!!

Thanks for lighting a candle for that kitty.  I hope he was a stray so some family isn't aching right now.  Maybe he'll wait at the bridge with my cats....

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