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Throwaway1008

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Posts: 1
 #1 
It’s been 7 months. I’ve read every article, had countless conversations with my therapist, I know it’s a long grieving process and I know it takes time. It’s just so hard and sometimes I’ll go for weeks feeling fine until nights like this where my mind wanders back to him. I can’t even fully enjoy hearing about other people’s dogs anymore. I love dogs so much but it always goes back to Biscuit and how much I miss him. The house feels empty without him. I have 3 cats but it’s still empty. He was with me since I was 6 and I’m 20 now, and it’s like a piece of me has been ripped into shreds. I’ve been through two family deaths and none has broken my heart as much as this has. I miss him so much, his stupid face, the sound of his nails tapping against the floor when I’d call his name, I miss his weird snorts and the way he’d rub his face all over me. He was so loving and sweet and dumb and he always looked like he was smiling at everyone. I didn’t show that I loved him nearly enough as I should have. No one told me how hard it was going to be to let go of him when I picked him out at 6 years old. I still remember the night I brought him home, he was so small and scared and fit perfectly in my lap on the drive back. And I remember the night he left, holding him and crying because I didn’t know what to do. He was still smiling, even then. God Biscuit I miss you so much.
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #2 
Throwaway I get this completely and understand exactly how you feel as I feel exactly the same. I hate my life without my boy and can honestly say it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I guess we just have to hang in in there - I'm not sure it will ever get better. I’m so sorry for you - take care xxx
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #3 
I know the feeling. I didn't want to ever go on with out Termy. I to have lost family members and the pain wasn't as deep. I think we all have a really hard time with losing our babies because all their lives they gave us nothing but unconditional love. Family members never do that. It sounds like Biscuit was loved so deeply and had a very wonderful life. We will always miss the little things that endeared them to us. When I let Termy go , it was so very hard to walk by his crate, his water dish and his toys without tears. I have proof that his spirit is around me, that he has never really left my side just as your babies are always near you, still. Have faith that they are always beside us even if we can no longer see them.
It will get better for all of us. There is no time line for each of us, we heal on our own terms and grieve as our hearts tell us. It's so very hard to accept that when we take on the job of loving them and the happiness we feel with them in our lives that the day will come when the pain over shadows the love and joy we shared with them. I am healing and I can finally smile when I look at his pictures. I still shed tears and can't talk openly about him without choking up but I don't cry uncontrollably like I used to.
Take your time, grief is something that we all need to work through on our own time lines. Cry often and always talk to them because they hear and they watch over us.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Lynnsa

Registered:
Posts: 63
 #4 
12 weeks tomorrow for me and I still break down daily and blame myself. I can't talk about max without crying - I feel I can put my hand out to stroke him but of course he's not there. Everyone thinks I am over his death - I will never get over it 💔
Missing_Coco

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Posts: 35
 #5 
Tomorrow is 4 months for me. I'm the same. Some days I'll be fine for a week at a time and then something will happen and I'll go days where I just cry for her.
I don't think it's something I will ever get over. She was my everything.
Sorry, no help. Just know that you are not alone with this feeling.
Lynnsa

Registered:
Posts: 63
 #6 
Missing Coco - we are all in the same horrible place right now I do know it gets easier over time after I lost my last dog but it's so painful nd difficult. Love to everyone xxx
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