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Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #1 
Sparky was doing so well after his last 2 week check that she changed him to 3 weeks - he went back for his 3 week check on Friday 2/15 and was so improved his next check will be in 4 weeks. But it has not all been good this week. He continues to defy all the odds, but now one of his housemates is sick. Marbles was diagnosed long before Sparky with kidney disease - but has not required much extra - special food and 2 powders added to her food (Renal K for potassium and Epikitan which is basically Pepto for kitties). Monday she seemed fine, her normal self. Tuesday she was acting odd, she is a torti and like calicos they seem to pick 1 person and want only that person - with Marbles that is me. Usually she is constantly at my feet (or standing on something to get even closer) demanding attention, but Tuesday she basically ignored me which seemed odd enough I called and set an appointment for her - Thursday being the soonest they had an appointment. Today (Wednesday) she was very lethargic, barely moving, so I called and got them to work her in - she went in at 3:30pm - she is still there. She was hypothermic with a temp of 99 degrees and her kidney values were so bad they couldn't get a reading on part of them. Her doctor's 1st comment was that with these values basically there is no coming back. We are going to try a fluid push and warming cage, she said it may give her a few weeks to months, or may only give her a few days. She will be 16 in April so I know she isn't a baby - but she is my baby. And I feel I so let her down. Sparky has been so frail, so while I have given her attention, she has, of late, played second to Sparky, because he was sick and she wasn't. Now she may not make it through the night and I feel I cheated her, that she deserved better from me. She loves me and trusted me and I failed her.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #2 
Our vet called at 8:30am - Marbles passed away overnight.
MaxAndHazelsMom

Moderator
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Posts: 1,014
 #3 
Oh I am so sorry, dear Rhonda...another loss for you. They all know you love them, whether they are here with you or are waiting for you at the Bridge. Many hugs and tears sent your way....

Barb
SharG

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Posts: 535
 #4 
Dear Rhonda, I know how you feel. When Oscar got sick he got most of my attention and it seemed I was ignoring poor Felix. Felix's lymphoma might have been caught earlier if I didn't focus so much on Oscar and as it turned out, I lost Felix first and the heartbreak was exasperated by guilt.

You have loved and lost so many, I don't know how you do it. What I do know is that you loved Marbles, she knew it, still knows it and you did not, ever fail her or cheat her. 

Love the time you have left with Sparky and keep posting updates. Take care of yourself and never allow yourself to think you failed any of them.

Sharon
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #5 
I am sending you my support and understanding. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that Marbles loved you and you loved her and the life you shared. We never fail our pets, we do the best we can and they understand.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #6 
Marbles only ever ran to me - her behavior to others ranged from 'pet me but just a little' to 'touch me and I'll exact payment in skin'. She hissed regularly at my hubby. She greeted me every morning with cries to demand I notice her. following me jumping up on any available rise (box, chair, etc) and grabbing at me. When we have lost others, and sometimes when others have lost one it is like I can hear they whispers, see their tale. All I see, and hear from Marbles is her eyes pleading for me to give her a moment, her cries as I walk past spots she claimed as petting stations. All I see is the past, unlike so many others she isn't there when I reach for her spirit.
mawlawva

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Posts: 6
 #7 
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Please please don't feel like you shorted your baby.  I have 6 Japanese Chin, but the one with stage 4 CHF gets the vast majority of my attention. I know if something happened to one of the others I would feel the same way.  But don't.  Our sick babies need us.  And ALL of our babies UNDERSTAND us.  Your baby loved you to the very end.  You made a valiant effort to help her, but kidney disease is hard to beat.  You kept it under control for awhile and that was one of the best gifts you could have given her.  Hold Sparky close.  He will make you understand all this.
Karmacat

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Posts: 167
 #8 
One good thing about our cats and dogs is that they do not really know, bother or feel hurt about being number 2 or 3 in the pecking list. This is completely unlike us humans, thankfully! So however much or little attention or love we can give them is usually good enough for them. Sometimes, catching a disease earlier doesn't also change the outcome, especially for terminal conditions like cancer or renal failure. Furthermore, everyone of us has only a certain bandwidth available to attend to things, so all of us would naturally focus on the pet that has the critical illness over the other healthier ones. You took wonderful care of Marbles, showered her with love and comfort, but of course now that she is gone, it's gonna hurt terribly.
JohnFitzgerald

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Posts: 629
 #9 
Good Afternoon, Dearest Ghatten,

It was with great sadness that I read your post about the passing of your beloved Marbles.

It is so very hard for us when we offer all that we have to our beloveds, doing everything we can to 
love them, keep them safe, and protect them from harm, and their journey Home comes at time that is so unanticipated.
Please know that my heart is heavy for you today.

If I may, Dearest Ghatten , I wish to offer to you the thought that in no way did you let your beloved Marbles down, nor, in any way
did you fail her. Dearest Ghatten, it so very clear that you were tending to both of your beloveds, both with health concerns in the best way
that you could, and it is especially clear that you did everything you thought possible, correct, and appropriate with compassion and love. When we welcome these wonderful beings in to our lives, we promise to them our hearts, our protection, our love. Everything that we can think of to accomplish this is done with the purest of soul, sincerest of effort, deepest of love. What more would our beloveds expect? Believe me when I say this to you, Dearest Ghatten, your Marbles knows how much you love her, and I am know full well that if not done yet, she will reach out to you in her way to let you know that she loves you to this day for all you have done for her, for all of the love that you gave, and still do, even as you put your thoughts and words to print.

Dearest Ghatten, Marbles knows, and so do those in this wonderful community of which we both reside. Dearest Ghatten, your heart and capacity for love and compassion are so clear, no more so than when I've reached out to you to ask for your thoughts and words for new members and others alike who needed what only you could provide. It is that same capacity of love and compassion which guided you for your Marbles and Sparky, and in no way were your thoughts and actions wrong. You are very loved by those whose lives you have touched, and will forever be remembered now, and when the time will come in the future when those whom have made the journey ahead of you will reunite with you, and your journey can continue together.

But for today, Dearest Ghatten, I offer my hopes, my prayers, my thoughts. You did just fine by your Marbles, and I know that you continue to do just fine for your Sparky...…..

All is well with love,
john 
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