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Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #1 
Hi everyone.
I had an American Staffordshire Terrier named Scooby and he had like a batman logo on his back in white color.His one ear was normal and one was up.He was the craziest and cutes dog ever.First 2 years he was in the house and he was getting all the attention from my family.Then he was too large to be in the house so my parents bought him a dog house and they decided to keep him on our huge balcony on the back of the house.While he was out there,I forgot on him...I never went to see him(rarely maybe 2 or 3 times a week on 15 mins some weeks even no times)My mother just fed him and he was alone like that for 3 years.My mother and my father had too much work and he was too strong for a 10 yr old too walk him so he wasn't walked either(maybe once a month usually he wasn't).
3 years passed by of him being alone there So for 10 days he began vomiting and we called a vet to see him he gave him some vaccine and he stopped.We thought he was okay.Then he had a bad diarrhea and was barely eating,he started losing weight and he was always tired.We took him to many vets,nothing helped.So for 10 days we decided to let him go without antibiotics and see if it helps.It was just getting worse and worse.We went to see the last vet and he was diagnosed with leukemia and a half of his body was destroyed by cancer.I just started crying and we decided to put him down the day later.My parents didn't even let me go with them.



I'm sad for 2 weeks already.Imagine living his life,being alone for 3 years.What an idiotic and soulless creature do you have to be to just leave him like that.I just want to hit myself until I die because I deserved it more than him.He was JUST 5 YEARS OLD!!!!He probably even wanted to die considering he lived such a stupid life.And no matter how much we threw him away he was still wagging his tail at me and he stood up to be around me in his last few days.He deserved all the love that we couldve gave him.


I didn't deserve such a dog,I just hope he knows how sorry I am and accepts me in the Heaven.



Here are the pictures of Scooby that I have on my phone,I'll upload a few more when I get my laptop

https://i.imgur.com/gKaYpJU.jpg



https://m.imgur.com/9VLFsrj



Mellouiza

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #2 
I'm sorry for your loss and understand your guilt. It is very easy to forget someone when they are out of sight. Your dog was gorgeous at least he will be free to run about now in heaven take comfort in that.
Avu

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #3 
Hello Milos,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Scooby looks like a happy boy in your pictures. 

I also recently had a dog die at a too early age, so I understand some of what you are going through.  Unfortunately, leukemia often doesn't respond to treatment and there's nothing that can be done.  Are you able to talk to your parents about how you are feeling?

Maybe when you're older and living in your own household, you can have a dog (or another type of pet) and give it the type of life you think Scooby deserved.  That would be a great way to honor his memory.
Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #4 
Sorry for answering this late,I didn't see the replies.Thank you for the support.

I don't want to speak to my parents about it cause I don't want them to stress because of me.

What do you think will he forgive me for misstreating him?I really want to see him again.
Avu

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #5 
Hello Milos,

I hope you are feeling better. 

As far as forgiveness and seeing Scooby again, that's a matter of belief, I guess.  In the Christian tradition, the afterlife is where people (and dogs, I suppose) are made perfect and without faults, so it follows that Scooby would have no trouble forgiving you.

I don't personally believe in an afterlife, but I believe that our memories and feelings are what survives after a loved one dies.  People and pets who are no longer alive stay with us as long as we take what we learned from them and use it in how we live our lives. So if you have a pet in the future or even whenever you interact with other animals, your experience with Scooby will influence your behavior.  That is how he stays with you.

Your first email is still very concerning to me.  Do you still feel like hurting yourself or that you deserve to die?  If you do, PLEASE try to talk to a trusted adult.  Grief is normal but this kind of thinking might be much more serious.
moonmoon

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #6 
Milos- this seems like a common issue with staffs- people often get them and then find they cant cope with them, there is a why reason shelters are always full of staffs- people get them too hastily without researching the breed properly. They are gorgeous dogs but they require a lot of time and effort and walking etc

Look- you cannot go back in time and changed what has happened. Also, it sounds like you were a just a CHILD when this was going on- children cannot be expected to take full responsibility for the rearing of household pets so please, stop beating yourself up over this. You were just a kid- you really need to forgive yourself for this. As for Scooby- I 100% think he would forgive you, dogs are simply amazing and their capacity for love is endless. The fact he wanted to be around you at the end shows you how much he loved you! Take comfort from that. 

What you CAN do is learn from Scooby and use this opportunity for good, to give back to another dog at some point in the future- how about volunteering for a dog shelter for a bit? Do it in Scooby's name 😉 Or, something else if you cannot do this. I believe animals come into our lives to teach us to be better people and maybe this is Scooby's lesson and gift to you?
Take care of yourself and take comfort from the fact that Scooby loved you 😉
Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #7 
There are no shelters around my town,I live in Serbia ,where the economy is awful and our vets aren't able to do 25% of what vets in USA or west Europe can do.I asked my parents to get another amstaff which we will keep in house and I told myself if I get another amstaff i'll try my best to keep him healthy and put a lot of time in him.I really love amstaffs,they are so smart,beautiful and loving.For some reason Scooby used to shed alot and my mothers allergies reacted badly,so there was no chances of him being in.I've read a lot about them and it says they rarely shed.I really want my next dog to live up to at least 12 years.Their average lifespan is 12-15 years.I'll buy the best food for him,walk him daily,excercise him and train him.I wanted to adopt a dog from a shelter which is around 50 miles from here,my mother didn't like the idea,she really doesn't want a medium size dog like amstaffs,how do I convince her that amstaffs are indoor dogs.If trained properly they can be kept inside.I'm gonna wait a few months anyways,still need some time.Do you have any idea on why did he die from cancer so young.He was only five.
moonmoon

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #8 
Milos- its impossible to say why your Scooby got cancer so young but a quick google search indicates that "Did you know that the primary cause of death in dogs over two years of age is cancer? In fact, half of all adult dogs will die from cancer" - it seems like its very common for dogs to develop cancer, unfortunately. Or maybe, its comparable to human rates of cancer but because dogs live shorter lives it shows up earlier?  Also, the fact that certain breeds are more likely to get certain types of cancer might indicate there is a genetic/inherited element to it. 

Give yourself time to grieve and get over this loss before you get another dog. Good luck!


Avu

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #9 
Just like with people, sometimes dogs get sick and there is no reason why.  The cancer is not your fault.  It's horrible, but even children sometimes die from cancer.  Leukemia in particular is a cancer that is more common in young animals and humans.  My own dog died recently at the age of six from a blood disorder.  She was very well cared for and we tried every treatment the vet suggested - nothing could save her.

Maybe if you family gets another dog, you could consider a breed that your parents see as an indoor dog.  Amstaffs are great, but if your parents have trouble with them in the house it might be better to look at something else.  You could always have an Amstaff when you are older.
Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #10 
Hello everyone,thanks again for the support,here is a little update.
I started accepting him not being around and I feel better.I saw a cute small stray dog outside my house which I will ask my parents to adopt.I feel like Scooby would love if I rather saved a dog than buying one.He always loved other animals,he used to sleep while pigeons were eating around him.It's a small dog and I guess is a mix between a dachshund and another dog.He is not as long as a dachshund but he does appear longer than other small dog breeds.
Here are the pictures I have of him.


https://ibb.co/jOrxnc

https://ibb.co/nbG2Lx

https://ibb.co/j83Snc




moonmoon

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #11 
Milos- awwwww he looks like an absolute sweetheart! I wish you a long and happy life together!
OhNo

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #12 
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a happy update you posted, I am so glad that you found a stray to take in! You are old enough now to care for the dog yourself. Give him all the love you can!!!
Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #13 
Hi everyone,another quick thing to share with you guys.I ended up not taking the stray dog in.My parents don't want a dog.Not yet at least.But I did make a house which I set up in a little small covered area,I isolated it,and it's pretty good,it really does help dogs around my block.Here in Serbia stray dogs are everywhere,and there are no organizations that save them.Their lives depend on peoples will to feed them.I feed 3 dogs in my street with leftovers from our meals that we don't eat.I give them water not that often since as soon as I put a bowl outside it just won't stay there.Wind just blows it away.I'm trying to help them as much as possible.Still tho,Scooby is still in my memories.It does make me sad when I remember of him and that is everytime I remember something from my past.I'm just thinking on how I laughed at those moments while he was waiting to be loved,alone.It really breaks me,but I do know he forgave me somewhere up there.Helping stray dogs really makes me think that he is happy that I'm doing it,im his name.
Avu

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #14 
Milos, this is great news!  Scooby would definitely approve of you helping stray dogs in your area - that's a great way to honor his memory.  Your family might or might not be ready for a pet dog in the future, but you are still making a difference by helping dogs who do not have a family.  I admire what you are doing.
Milos

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #15 
Hello everyone.It's been 2 or 3 months from the day he left.I am feeling normal like always,but every few days,something just hits me and I start thinking about him for the whole day.The thing that helped me out the most was helping stray dogs.For 2 months I've been feeding this black stray dog just outside my house.I feel like I'm making up for Scooby.The dog that I'm feeding is so nice.He just starts running in circles and jumping when he sees anyone.He can't stop wagging his tail.Anyways that's it for the little update.
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