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catmomma

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Posts: 1
 #1 

7 years ago today, I took in my baby lola. she was still a "baby" when I found her, vet though between 1 and 2 years old. I loved the hell out of her, despite her problems, she was food aggressive, went out of her way to attack other pets/animals and only tolerated me. everyone else she would out right attack, but i still loved her because she was as i said my baby. But I think I failed her. 

 The last three years her issues with food, her aggression and litter box avoidance was coming to a head. she would knock over the trash can to eat out of it, no matter how many times it made her sick. when her over eating got her to 20lbs and I was forced to hid/put up everything. Lola did not like that so she sought out my husbands military jack and pooped on it, over and over till we had no choice but to toss it. but I still loved her, I though its been a few years it'll be okay, she'll eventually come around, but she never did.

I took her to the vet to see if it was something medial, it was not. I tried ever trick in the book, most she ignored, while others simply pissed her off.My husband thinks the 1-2 years she spent as a stray was too long and there was no saving her after that...I hate him for it but i fear he may have been right.

today was...the tipping point with lola, the day we said enough is enough its been 7 years she needs somewhere better equip to help her than us. because I was unable to help her, feel safe and loved I feel as I have failed as a pet parent. besides her I have 2 other cats. Ninja who is 10 and mika who is 6 months. that tipping point was when she dragged mika out of the litter box and bit hard enough to draw blood, when I tried to get her away from mika she drew blood on me next. I tried to find a reason why she did that unprovoked but found nothing. I have 5 litter boxes,  water bowls, cat shelves all over the walls,I have used the same food/litter since Ninja was a baby, we've been in our home for 4 years now, and as a stay at home wife, the three get constant attention and play time. I found no reason for her actions. many vets told me "she's just a problem cat" many cat behaviorists told me "she's just different" 

after years, many hours of undivided attention and 1000's of dollars in vet bills I feel i failed lola. I was unable to help her and I feel like a monster. I have helped and saved many cats/dogs/ect through out the years but silly lola was...is the only one i was unable to save and i...I hate my self. all my cats are my kids I only want them happy, health and safe and I hate I couldn't do that for lola after all this time...am I monster? 

JerseyLola

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Posts: 10
 #2 
You are not a monster at all. Don't forget you helped 2 other cats who are happy and healthy because of you!
grievingmom

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Posts: 639
 #3 
Life being a mother is not easy and is no rose garden. 

You did so many things right. And they are as real as the things you believe you failed at.

Take care,
Stephanie
pansy

Registered:
Posts: 599
 #4 
catmomma-  I've had a very similar experience with a cat I had for 17 years.  I took her in from a neighbor who was moving at about 8 months old.  She had been found wondering in the mts. She loved my other cat a lot but could not tolerate any other cats and was down right vicious if she came across any.  She would go into a 'red' zone like some dogs do and would fight to the end if a cat crossed her path.  I could never figure out what the problem was as she was so incredibly sweet and loving with me.  A cat behaviorist once told me it may have been something in the brain that was just not wired right as her anxiety levels were sometimes off the chart.  Sometimes no matter what we do we can't always fix or change things.  I gave her a loving home until she passed away from lymphoma about 8 years ago.  It's all I could do.  I was not able to have any other cats around her after her companion died as she would have harmed them.      
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